Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Boob Dress For The Win!


Remember that gadget that I was so blissed about several weeks ago?

It was so sleek and sexy, all brushed silver and black.  It felt nice and heavy in my hand, powerful even.  And the buttons!  Oh what those buttons could do to me.

I couldn't get enough of the thing.  I think Al was getting jealous as I played with it more than I played with him.

Remember how turned on I was?

About my new phone?

Well.  I'd had it just over two weeks and it broke.  All the way broke.  Wouldn't even turn on.  Let alone turn me on.


Back to Best Buy from whence it came.  I'd originally wanted a BlackBerry so I thought I could maybe just trade it in?


Pesky maintenance plan.  They sent it out to be fixed.

I got it back THREE WEEKS LATER.  With no explanation as to why it shit the bed in the first place. I didn't want it back.  I wanted a damn BlackBerry.

But we got reacquainted and I started to feel the love again.  Even started to learn how to blog from it (which is way harder than you'd think by the way, not sure it is worth the trouble).

We got along swimmingly for a week.  Then it started shutting down randomly on me.  During a conversation.  While texting.  Playing Bejeweled.  Dicking around on the Internet.

I knew it was only a matter of time. 

That time was last night.  Dead.  Again.

So. This morning, as soon as Al was off to work and Owen off to camp, I showered, primped, donned the famous boob dress, and set off for Best Buy on a mission: 

I wasn't leaving that store with anything but a fucking BlackBerry.  Dammit.

I marched right over to the Mobile phone department and was met by the same handsome young man who'd given me my 'repaired' phone back not two weeks ago;

Me:  Smiling sweetly and waving phone at him as I approached.


Me:  "Yup.  Dead again.  I don't want it fixed.  I want a new phone."

Him:  "All I can do is send it out for repair.  The manager will be here in an hour if you want to come back."

Me:  "See you in an hour."

50 minutes later.

Him:  "I called the manager.  Nothing we can do but send it out again."

Me:  "Nope.  Unacceptable.  Would YOU want this thing back?   No.  You wouldn't. I'll wait for him to come in."

Him:  "I'm just gonna get started on sending it out.  He's not gonna approve a replacement."

Me:  "Whatever".  And while you're at it, you might wanna see if they've cast Jacob Black for Breaking Dawn, 'cause you're way hotter than that kid playing him now.  Just sayin.

Manager type guy spotted coming into store.

Him: "You still want to talk to him or should I just send this thing out?"

Me:  "Send him over."

Jacob runs after manager and returns two minutes later.

Him:  Motions me over to phone display;

"What do you want?"

Fuckin' right.


  1. Wow. Please use those powers for good and not for evil.

    But Rock On, Momma. Rock On!

  2. Damn. This is why I need a boob job- so I have boobs to get shit done. In the mean time- Some one stole my iphone and now i have a gimpy one. if you want to come over to ireland with that dress and talk to the phone people for me- that would be fabulous! haha

  3. hubs has a BB I won't tell you that he has had problems with it;) he has the one like in the picture he use to have the Pearl and I did Not like it, the typing was weird on it.

    yea and I am not ashamed to put my boobs to work for me either:)

  4. Wait, there are good-looking young guys at Best Buy? Where do you live again? ;)
    PS- I think you and your boob dress need to go out for dinner and drinks. They'll probably be free.

  5. Awesome wielding of booby powers.
    I have the BB Curve too, great phone. Browser kind of sucks, but otherwise great.

  6. Hmmmm. Nah, nevermind. Other half reads your blog.

  7. Good for you Lady!
    Manager dude did not wanna mess with you!

  8. Sweet Pete, woman! Throw the boob dress on and jedi mind fuck the hubs into buying you Jason Mraz tickets and driving you to the show. May as well get his permission to grow the family while you're at it. Then wear the boob dress to see Jason Mraz and jedi mind fuck him into being your second hubs. You can get WAY more than just a blackberry outta that hot number!

  9. You exposed yourself didn't you?

  10. I'm overweight - don't have a great body - but I totally have "kick ass" boobage! :-) I can get more done showing them (even my bosses who swear they don't look ogle them!) than if I was rolling in money!

    ::high five::

    Great job rockin the boobs!

  11. Fuckin' boobs is fuckin' right!

    So, um, do you have blackberry IM? Because if so, I can randomly send you pictures of my own tits. You know you want them.

  12. I'm so jealous.

    Of the phone, not the boobs, as I am well endowed in the bust area.

    I have been wanting a smartphone since forever... but my cheap-ass husband doesn't want to pay for the data plan.

    Shane doesn't text, take pics, or browse anything with his phone... he thinks phones should just be used for calling someone.

    AH MAH GAH my husband is stuck in 1997.

  13. The only cleavage I have is in my ass... maybe if I walked into a room backwards?

    Yay for the BB ~ had to give mine up for economic reasons and have the basic flip shit phone.

  14. Okay, first of all, I went and ordered the damn boob dress. The day after you posted. Got it and the trim around the boobs had HOLES so I took it back.
    Damn the powers that dress could have held. damn, damn, damn.

    So, when I need to negotiate my next raise, you'll lend it to me, right? Or even better, you can come work your magic. I'll be sure to show you just how grateful I am, promise!

  15. The combination of the boob dress, the Victoria's secret cleavage maker bra, and the thoughts you were sending his way...he had no power. You had mind control all over him.

    Not surprised.

  16. Shit! I thought it was the Secret that made things like that happen....Now, I want some boobs!!

  17. Boobs. Boobs rule the world.

    F&ck knows where I'd be without mine, but it would have a lot more traffic tickets there!!! :)

  18. Woot!!!

    My hubby has a Blackberry. He (like Shannon's hubby from upstream) is cheap-ass and says I don't need a smartphone, I just want one.


    If I get the job I interviewed for last week, you can bet your sweet bippy (or, I suppose, your sweet boobies) I'll be upgrading my phone to a Blackberry next spring (the next time I'm due for an upgrade).

    Way to work the power of the Boob Dress!

  19. never underestimate the powers of boobage. but i'm thinking you'd get it done even in a parka.

  20. Atta girl! But why didn't you snap a shot of the hottie with your new phone?!!

  21. Pictures, woman, pictures! Not of the damn phone (why would I want to see your phone!) Do you wear a WonderWoman bra under that dress?

    Good deal on the new phone, though. I'm biding my time until Verizon gets the iPhone. If not by the time my new in 2 is up, then I go with the Berry...

  22. You go Girl! It's all in the boobs! Works every time!

  23. You're the very best boob briber ever!

  24. I'm pretty much in awe with your hypnotizing tits. Where can I sign up for some?

  25. You're gonna love your crackberry! Welcome to the club!

  26. Big freaking thumbs up for you and the boob dress!

  27. Freud was clearly very wrong about which anatomical part contained all power! lol.

  28. i hope you got the blackberry!

    i just got an iphone. UHMAZING. love it. and those fuckers have already sent me the first bill and i've had it a week! argh!

  29. Oh Schlitterbahn is so fantastic and just too fucking awesome!! I've been there 3 times so far!

  30. I've been wanting a crackberry for awhile. Yeah me, who makes fun of cell phones and my kids' addiction to them.

    I don't think I could work a boob dress these days though...

  31. I'm thinking of getting a crackberry too. It's time for an upgrade. Great job boob dress. :)

  32. Nice. I'm proud and I want a boob dress. Of course I would need it to have boobs already pre-attached. Mine probably aren't enough.


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