Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm The One Curled Up In The Fetal Position In The Corner Of The Bubble

A couple weeks ago I got a phone call from a fellow Deaf kid Mommy, the Mommy of Owen's sole second grade classmate. 

She'd heard through the vine of Deaf Kid Mommy grapes that their school's bubble was moving.  That so and so heard from this person that this other person said that the bubble's contract with the current school had run out and they needed to relocate.

This Mommy was mad.  Angry bee.  Momma bear.  Her rage came shooting out in powerful bursts that caused me to hold my phone out at arms length.  It zapped.  And stung.

I thanked her for the info and hung up as quickly as I could.  Me.  Not being able to match her ire.  Who knew?

Well.  I was sad.  Though it would be a week or so before it was confirmed, I knew then that her information was correct.   Because it was something I didn't want to be true right down to my toenails - I knew it had to be.

And it is. Owen's bubble is moving. 

Yeah yeah yeah, all the same teachers, same Deaf kid classmates; but at a new school.  In a much bigger town.  Almost an hour away from home.

Why couldn't I be mad? 

Because I was too busy being sad.  That Owen had finally made friends with a few Hearing kids, and he'd never see them again.  That his commute to school will now see him on a bus three hours a day.  That his life will be just a smidge harder than it already is.

But.  Those bootstraps have some life left in them yet.  And with a grunt or two, I hoisted myself up.  And I started to look outside the bubble.

Ok.  I'll get him involved in some local activities.  Throw him in with some local Hearing kids.  Round him out a bit.  Give him more exposure to the Hearing world.

I was feeling maybe not good, but more than ok about this coming year.

So when we hit the playground today, at the elementary school around the corner from our house, the school which Bea will attend, and Owen will not, and I saw that there were some kids there, I was happy and clapped and pointed out to Owen;

"See!  Kids!"

And he was happy.  He saw that one of them had a similar superhero shirt on.

And he ran up to them and introduced himself, with such confidence;

"I'm Owen."

And they looked at him like he had a penis growing out of his forehead.

I explained;

"He doesn't hear very well.  Feel free to speak loudly.  Tap him on the shoulder to get his attention.  How old are you?"

The both responded;  "Seven!".

Owen was thrilled, signing/saying;

"Seven!  Me!  Same!"

"See?  He'll even teach you some sign!"

The pair shrugged, gave me a look that made me check my forehead for a penis, and ran off into the woods.  Owen pranced after them.

Thinking the best of these kids, I let them be kids and strolled away with Bea.

Not many minutes passed.  The boys and Owen were at the top of the slide, their little sisters, five years old I'd say, had joined them;

Little Bitches:  "Why does he talk funny?"

Little Dicks:    "I don't know."

Little Bitches:  "Let's get away from him!!"

Little Dicks:     "Yeah!"

And they did. They ran away.  And Owen didn't get it. He chased after them, thinking it was part of the game.

For the next twenty minutes or so, that is how it went.  Owen and these shits running around, Owen thinking he was part of the gang, not the butt of the joke as the little shits ran up to him;

"We're not your friend!"

"We don't want to play with you."

"Why do you act like that?"

I intervened here and there, knowing that Owen was clueless but wanting the kids to have a little understanding.  It didn't help.

And their Mommies sat at the picnic table chatting away, oblivious to their their children's asshoolery.

Not that I really blame the kids.  They were just being kids.  And kids are fuckers.

Of course I was relieved when it was time for the fuckers to leave.  Of course Owen was sad to see his 'friends' go.

Sitting at the picnic table;

Owen:  "My friends.  They going home."

Me:    "You like those boys?  They nice to you?"

Owen:  "Yeah."

Me:   "You hear those boys?  You hear them talking to you?"

Owen:  "No."

Me:  "I didn't like those boys."

Owen:  "Why you crying Mommy?"

Me:  "Those boys were dickheads sweetie."

Owen:  "Huh?"


  1. OMG. These kinds of stories break my heart. What's amazing is that they affect hearing and hearing impaired kids kid, also 7, had a similar thing a week ago. He thought these kids were being his friends and they were running away from him. They finally told him to go away because he was "annoying them."

    I wanted to rip their heads off.

    I'm so sorry your son had to go through that. :(

  2. That is heartbreaking I am so sorry. The change of schools, those moms who could have had an inkling of being human, what a horrible time! Your family deserves much better than that.

    I wish I had something wonderful to say to help somehow.

  3. It's unfortunate that Owen will have to learn at a younger age that dickhead in any language is the same. Those kids need some practice in manners and their parents need some practice in knowing what their kids are doing. Jerks. (Sorry, this kind of stuff really peeves me off.)

  4. Those kids were assholes. Childhood is hard.

    Owen's going to be a great man some day.


  5. Oh god, that made me mad and hurt and feeling really stupid for bringing a kid into this world. I'm seriously thinking about not doing it again.

    One of my neuroses when I was PG and shortly after having Mad was that she would be picked on.

    Dammit stupid mothers for not noticing your asshole kids' behaviors. And dammit that you had to see it too.

    But Owen. That boy just makes me smile.

  6. Kids are mean.

    I have always tried to think, they're kids and they know no better, but I think so of the not knowing better has to be with their parents, too. A child does not leap out of the womb mean. they are taught mean.

  7. Gah. Kids like that make me want to slap their parents. Or maybe even their children. Would it have been that hard for the parents to become involved? How about teaching some tolerance and understanding?

    You should teach Owen the comeback "you talk funny too". That oughta make them double think for a moment. Maybe.

    It seems it gets harder as kids get older. The oldest I watch (who've I've mentioned occasionally before) is almost 3 and I'm already beginning to see the looks from parents and their kids. It's either sympathy or 'what the hell is wrong with him?'. Both reactions make me mad.

    I've discovered I'm going to be a scary parent when it comes to other parents and my children. I have a hard enough time with children who I know, but aren't even mine. I may need to get accustomed to the taste of wine by the time I become one.

  8. Oh Sweetie! I'm so sorry.

    His new school situation sucks dick.

  9. Dude. Kids ARE assholes. I blame their parents.

  10. fuck those kids and fuck their moms

  11. The first time my mom heard me being a total brat as a kid, making fun of another kid, I was dragged off the playground by my ear. Then, when she cooled down, she explained to me why I was being an asshole and why I shouldn't pick on anyone. It stuck with me.

    Those oblivious parents suck. So do their kids.

  12. Typical kids ARE fuckers. I am so going to get hauled off to the pokey or beaten by a parent someday because I know I'm going to blow and when I do it's not going to be pretty.

  13. Wicked, evil, spiteful, little trolls. May the little dicks grow up to just have that and the little bitches be blessed with major child bearing hips and asses you can balance a tray on.

  14. Now, I am not saying that Hayden has gone through any of the struggles that Owen has but he does get a lot of the same reaction from kids. Hayden is just so friendly and comes on so strong that he often times pushes kids away and has no idea that they don't like him.

    It sucks. Breaks my heart.

    Yeah, kids are little fuckers.

  15. i hate those turds. and their turd moms for not paying more attention.

  16. ouch. ouch. OUCH.

    goddammit. my heart hurts

  17. This post made me feel sick to my stomach. It also made me want to crack some little heads together. I'm sorry.

  18. I don't know how to ask, but why didn't you tell the moms? I do this, of course I have no friends in town, and had to turn to the internet for friendships, but I get all up in their grill.

    The kids here do this to middlest at the pool. They come up to my youngest and say, "your brother is the weirdo, right?"

    Nice...when I hear this I march straight up to the moms and let them have it.

    Like I said, maybe not the best way to handle it, I mean, I'm on the internet trolling for people to talk to me, you know?

    Those kids are the ones with with the penis growing out of their foreheads.

    Owen, you would be our best bud here. I hope mama tells you that.

  19. That is so hard, so harsh. I know that when it happens to my baby I am filled with a rage so all encompassing that I actually lose my peripheral vision. I will not tolerate it from my students. No mean fuckers in my range - I tell them I cannot control what they do outside of the walls of our classroom, but I'll be damned if I'll allow any crap like that when I can.

  20. This made my blood pressure rise. My little girl is just the same in that it doesn't register when kids are not being her friend. It's frustrating and I tend to go into detailed fantasies of either yelling at kids or just punching them right in the face.

    I think the parents are likely intolerant asswipes. And probably that pack mentality that seeks uniformity at the cost of any empathy.

    I wish we could have a real bubble that would last a lifetime for our children.

  21. I know this is totally not the same thing, but go with me on this one. My daughter has always been ... well... fat. Even as a toddler I was taking her to all kinds of specialists and nutritionists etc to find out how come (since her dad and I are of normal weight). She weighed well over 100lbs when in grade school. Now a senior in HS she weighs well over 200... maybe more.

    Anyway, it used to break my heart every day when people asked why her tummy was so big or how come she couldn't do certain things or wear certain clothes.

    Kids suck. So do tweens, teens, etc. Sometimes even their parents. It's not going to end any time soon. Best advice, get thick skin. Owen knows he's loved and that's the most important thing. You are a good mommy. Just love him and hold him when he does figure out that other kids suck. He'll be okay in the end.

  22. This totally makes me want to cuss too. Totally.

  23. I would knock the loose teeth out of my own children's head if I saw them treating any kid, deaf or not, like this!
    I try to encourage them to ask people who are different any honest innocent questions they can think of.
    And when they ask me why they are the way the are I say:

    "Because God thought they were awesome enough to be different!" Then we try to find how they too are different than other kids.

    SO sorry this happened. Kids are assholes! But I'm trying to raise three who stink a little less than the rest!

  24. I just want to pinch their little heads off.

  25. Ugh. I feel that in the pit of my chest. I will go in immediately and have a little talk with my son to make sure he understands how important it is to NOT be a little dickhead when meeting someone who's a little different from him. God bless Owen though, he's a strong and resilient little man.

  26. oh god. this just sucks. kids can be so cruel, and their STUPID PARENTS DON'T HELP MATTERS.

  27. So desperately hard to go through. I have to say though, I cannot be harsh on the mothers. We can hope they can be watching, but they can't all the time. I live in fear and dread that what I teach my children about being kind to all people will not take. If I had been one of those moms and you had come to tell me about your son and what my children where doing, I would have listened and used it as a major teaching moment. I can't say all parents would do that, but some will be good about it. Like you said, it's not the kids' faults, they are just being kids. It may not have been the parents' fault either. They may have tried to get their kids to understand, but if they're not faced with a situation where a kid is really different, it is not concrete to them. Kids may not get the abstract concept about being good to all people until they get the chance to see it in action. We are lucky if their parents can be there to follow up in making sure the good behavior comes through.

    We want to be there all the time to make them behave and we want to be there to help make sure the hurt doesn't happen, but we have to accept that we cannot and hope that it will turn out all right in the end. Which it will.

    Big *hugs* for your pain as you try to maneuver your sweet boy through it.

  28. Bastages! Why are little kids so damn mean?

    I think (hope) it will be better if you get him involved in some sort of activity. There will be a coach, or instructor, to keep the krappy kids in line. And then they will have a chance to get to know what a great kid Owen is and get past his hearing.

  29. Kids are assholes, but I think I'm angrier with the parents. They should have taught their kids enough empathy by that point that the kids would behave nicely at least because their parents were CLOSE. Yeah, you can't be monitoring all their conversations, but they shouldn't feel free to be TOTAL assholes.

    Ugh. Sorry. Want to stab faces for you.

  30. Yes, kids can be assholes but I honestly believe most of them are a result of genetic assholery. Or if you're not a fan of that school of thought, learned assholery.

    I'm glad Owen missed it all. I'm sorry you didn't. My mommy's heart breaks a little.

    Someone should have kicked those little tools in their penis heads.

  31. Is there anything that makes us want to get out our shovels more than someone being a JERK to our kids? Owen is definitely going to be a great man one day and IS a great kid everyday. Now where are those hearing kid mommies? I'll get my shovel.

  32. How did I miss this last week? Count me in as another crying mommy.


  33. Ditto to all! Kids are mean fuckers. Hugs to Owen who is a sweetheart.

  34. you can always just move down here and go to my son's school:) it is Awesome and just happens to be the county hearing impaired school so lots of deaf kids. one of Wyatt's friends mom and I were talking the other day and her son has a few in his class and she was talking about how just one week into school and he has already learned some sign language, he thinks it is pretty cool.

    Oh yea and brat kids do suck big time! Just the other day we were watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid and I told Abby girls are mean don't be one of the mean girls please. I hate it for her cause damn girls are mean.

    Sorry you had to deal with that glad though Owen was oblivious to it all.

  35. Kids are a direct reflection of their parents at that age, for better or for worse. Eventually, they will all get what they deserve. Life's like that.

    I am SO sorry Owen had to go through that- and sorrier still that YOU endured it.

  36. Kids are fuckers.

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}} all around..

  37. Oh God girl. Sweet, sweet boy.

    I don't understand mean kids. And I don't understand clueless mothers.

    But I do understand why the world is in the shitter. I wish it were full of more children like Owen.

    I wish I were there to kick all of them in the kneecap for you.

  38. I'm so not looking forward to this stuff. I can already see it beginning, and I know my conversations with Boo will likely be similar to yours with Owen. But with maybe more obliviously ignoring and less obliviously chasing...I dunno.

    I'm glad Owen didn't get that they didn't like him. And I'm impressed you didn't do something violent to their mothers.

  39. Oh goodness! I shed a tear for Owen too. Kids are little fuckers! I totally agree! They're mean & inconsiderate. Makes Mommy wanna go kick some ass regardless of how old they are. I have cried a time or two as well when my 10 year old comes home & says that no one will play with her cause they think she's weird. She's not a girly girl..She loves Pokemon & drawing Pokemon & playing Pokemon DS games & Bakkugan. She has all boy cousins & she likes boy toys. She's NOT WEIRD! She also doesn't like to bathe & put on deodorant (which she really needs at 10 for some reason...could be all the garlic I put in the food...idk)But I don't think she's weird.

    UGH!! I really HATE other people's children.

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