Bea: "Owen. Guess what? I have a sister. A pretend sister. Her name is Aylie and she's Deaf like you!"
Owen: "Awwww. I will be your sister Bea."
I've barely been online in almost two weeks, has been lovely, and I've always sucked at Twatter, yet I've gained followers over there almost daily.
What the fuck people?
You know what my first Tweet ever was?
"Why do I smell the brown stains?"
Really. Stop following me.
As evidenced by profound skidmarkage on Owen's underoos, I questioned his arse wiping practices one day as I heard the toilet flush;
"Owen, did you wipe your butt?"
"I know I know I know!"
"Well did you?"
"I said I know! I wipe already!!"
"Did you really?"
"I said I DID!!"
"Are you lying?"
I'm in the kitchen, Al is doing yard work, and the kids are playing outside.
Owen comes in the house, talking to himself;
"Can't hear Bea nope. Can't hear Bea talking why? Daddy using the Grass Vacuum. Yup. Daddy using the Grass Vacuum so I can't hear Bea."
And from that day forward, the WeedWhacker shall be known as the Grass Vacuum.
Methinks it is time to enroll the Elefanten sisters in some dance classes, as elder sister is showing some mad potential no?
And this is a rare occasion when I will allow one to feel pity for me. I am forced to endure this horrific Kidzbop version of this cheestastic song so loudly, I'm surprised the neighbors haven't complained.
At least he can't hear me laughing at him.
Bea and Owen finish a race to the door. Because it is important to get to the door first as opening the door is some special privilege even though the fucking thing sticks and the winner almost always needs my help with the actual opening.
Owen is pissed;
"I not your sister anymore Bea."