Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ridickulous (NSFW)

Owen likes to dance.  To LOUD music.  With props.

This past weekend, he was getting down to All The Single Ladies with his little buddy Ernie in the living room while Bea and I played in the playroom.

When I checked on him, I found him stripped down to his underoos, which were stuffed with both of his socks.  In the right place.

Ernie was...

Well...

We haven't heard from Ernie since the Special Victims Unit took him away.

*******

While trying to locate the accidental penis website to show Al,



I  *ahem* came across these guys:

Large Penis Support Group

Really?

Really.

Made me think I need to start a group of my own:

Women with perfect breasts, no stretch marks, and no cellulite support group.

*******

I wonder if that support group has a thread discussing this episode.

No. I'm not checking to see if they do.



*******

Remember this?




*******

This morning, before being properly caffeinated, I was treated to this conversation;

Bea: "Mom? Is 'ridiculous' a good word or a bad word?"

Me: "Ridiculous is a perfectly silly word. Say it all you want."

Bea: "Owen! Did you hear that? We can say ridiculous!"

Owen: "Huh?"

Bea: "Ridiculous! Say it!"

Owen: "Wee- What? I can't say it."

Bea: "Re-"

Owen: "We-"

Bea: "No. RE-"

Owen: "We-"

Bea: "Ugh. Now 'Dick'."

Owen: "Dick."

Bea: "Yes! You said 'Dick!' Mom! Did you hear that? Owen can say Dick!!"

Me: *snicker*

Bea: "Now. say 'YOU'."

Owen: "You."

Bea: "Yes! Now 'LUSS'."

Owen: "List."

Bea: "Re-dick-you-luss. Ridiculous!"

Owen: "Wedickyoulist!"

*******
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39 comments:

  1. RebeccaMay 24, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    I really love Owen and Bea! Thanks for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JenMay 24, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    I LOVE the conversation b/c Owen and Bea.

    Freaking awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JaymeMay 24, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    Your accidental penises reminded me of the uncomfortably sexual company logos.

    http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/26/uncomfortably-sexual-company-logos

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sprite's KeeperMay 24, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    I think that boy just graduated to boxers.
    And I always emphasize the "dick" in ridiculous. What's wrong with that?

    ReplyDelete
  5. K A B L O O E YMay 24, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Yaw! HA! Totally wedickyoulist. So Owen stuffs. Just make sure he's not pulling a Derek Smalls next time you go through airport security.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LizbethMay 24, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    That conversation--priceless.

    And what's membership dues for your club? I believe aside from my perfect breasts (that are at my knees) my backside (located at my ankles) I would fit right in...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Red ShoesMay 24, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    You need to look for John Hiatt's song about a failed relationship... "Since His Penis Came Between Us..."

    Ha!

    ~shoes~

    ReplyDelete
  8. Big Daddy AutismMay 24, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    As President of the LPSG, I thank you for bringing attention to our cause on your lovely blog.

    ReplyDelete
  9. cheatymoonMay 24, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    You should change the title to the post. Wedickyoulist is my new favorite.

    Big Daddy Autism comment - wrongwrongwrong. Hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ren- Lady Of The ArtsMay 24, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    I think Hummers (or any big trucks) are a dead giveaway to a small penis.

    ReplyDelete
  11. BethanyMay 24, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    The choice of songs to strip down to and stuff was just priceless. It was Weedickyoulist! I love Bea's delight in Owen being able to say Dick. Your kids are beyond awesome!! As for the support group, why do I have a feeling it is really a support group for men with wee willy winkies trying desperately to overcompensate? Because a man complaining about a large penis is like a woman complaining about being too thing?

    ReplyDelete
  12. ElizabethMay 25, 2011 at 1:28 AM

    I think you need to write a children's book called "Owen and Bea and the Ridickuluss Day."

    ReplyDelete
  13. ElizabethMay 25, 2011 at 1:29 AM

    Oh, and this post plunged me back into my early teenhoood and that song that began with what I thought was this line: "it's my dick, you know...never believe it's not so. It's my dick, you knowwwwwww." Do you know what I'm talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kelly Deneen RaymondMay 25, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Just perfect. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. JohnMay 25, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    Bwahahahahaha.

    Are you a South Park fan? One of their most recent episodes involved a group of people with little willies taking over Federal Express locations because they were tired of having small dicks. Stan's dad actually had a whole formula to show why his dick wasn't small, but perfectly average. The little willy club gave up their reign of terror when the national average was changed.

    The whole incident between the kids has me chuckling. I totally would have been pulling what Bea did. Except, well, I would have found some way around saying "he said dick."

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mama BadgerMay 25, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    It would be perfectly nice to have a penis. Then I could avoid the gross bathroom at work. And stuff to "ATSL". He, he, he.

    The whole conversations begs the questions, why did Bea think it was a bad word? What does she think it means?

    ReplyDelete
  17. KimMay 25, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    I was lamenting the fact that I can't open any of those links b/c I have kids in the room when I got to Bea and Owen's conversation. AWESOME. Now the kids want to know why I'm laughing randomly in front of the computer. Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 25, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    I clicked the link. Oh, yes I did. *face palm*

    ReplyDelete
  19. AlexandraMay 25, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    Laughing here...our stupid small town has "ridikulus" days, spelled just like that.

    And I crack up everytime they hang that badass banner across our main street light.

    ReplyDelete
  20. MommaKissMay 25, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    first, the large penis group? a message board? I'm afraid to click thru anything for fear I'll be huge-dick-poked thru the screen. Owie.

    I can not wait to meet your kids one day. Pure entertainment.

    ReplyDelete
  21. KimberlyMay 25, 2011 at 11:09 PM

    My son just says dickless...I wish he'd refer that to my husband...kidding...I'm not mean like that...maybe...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Just A Normal MomMay 25, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    There is nothing like a blog post filled with funny penis stories!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. essbeseeMay 26, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    bAHAHAHAAA!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mrs. TunaMay 27, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    Those poor, poor big dick men, all stretched out with no where to go.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Laural Out LoudMay 28, 2011 at 1:39 AM

    Good, Lord, there's a lot about boys I don't know about yet. But I'll have the pleasure of finding out over the next few years, I'm sure. Oh, maybe I shouldn't use the word Pleasure here.

    ReplyDelete
  26. MwaMay 28, 2011 at 6:52 AM

    Aha! A whole post on one of my favourite subjects. Thank you for that. Nicely grouped and perfectly ordered. Most pleasing.

    ReplyDelete
  27. K DubsMay 28, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Hahahaha! That's just weedickyoulist that there is a LPSG!!! lol

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMay 29, 2011 at 12:33 AM

    I'm new to your blog and just want to say that I'm having a blast reading it. I can relate to your job stories as my mom just spent 2 years in assisted living- oh, the stories. Owen's signing reminded me of the time my daughter decided to teach herself sign language. I think she was 8. I was all proud of her until I realized she learned it so she could " talk " to me during church. I looked like the negligent mother that didn't bother to learn how to communicate with her deaf child. Fun times!
    Thanks for sharing. I mean it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. MrsbearMay 29, 2011 at 7:43 PM

    Ah. You can never have too many penis euphemisms in a song.

    I think we women with perfect breasts, no stretch marks and no cellulite deserve a support group. It takes a lot of drugs to keep those illusions alive.

    ReplyDelete
  30. JessicaMay 29, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    I was laughing through your post and then I read Big Daddy's comment and spit pretzels at my screen. I had no idea there was an accidental penis website, I learn something new every time I visit you.

    ReplyDelete
  31. drollgirlMay 31, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    so you are telling me that the dick talk starts pretty young!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never DoMay 31, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    There is an accidental penis website?! Well hell, I was going to go to bed after this but I have a feeling I am going to be online for at least another hour!

    ReplyDelete
  33. the late phoenixJune 1, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    the accidental penis, perfect band name, it's inescapably wired into our culture, huh?

    loved that recent south park episode!

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousJune 1, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    Love it. My boys are three and four and, while we don't have penis talk yet, we have lots of inappropriate touching. Good times all around.

    ReplyDelete
  35. DSM-BrandiJune 3, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    Ok, I'm just getting here to comment but I've read this post about 6 times and 9 of them to other people. Way too many pantyliners were injured in the review of this post. "Wedickyoulist"...HAHAHAAA! Yes. Indeed, Owen. Awesome.

    Love ya, Tulps.

    ReplyDelete
  36. PseudoJune 4, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    I knew you'd make me laugh on my return.

    We dick.
    You list.

    I wish I wrote more things down when mine were little.

    ReplyDelete
  37. creative kerfuffleJune 5, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    wedickyoulist. OMG! your kids crack me the hell up.

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousJune 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    I love your blog! I love that you say it how it is! Your kids are so stinkin cute.
    http://tosots.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  39. HelenationJune 17, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    LOL! This is amazing. Laughing so hard at work everyone is looking at me.

    ReplyDelete

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