tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7876315118102192402024-03-16T14:53:14.247-04:00Bad Wordstulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-26247143220932450572013-10-02T13:33:00.000-04:002013-10-03T08:08:16.864-04:00The Big Idea.<br />
<br />
I'd like to wipe clean from my memory, and from Owen's, his entire fourth grade school experience.<br />
<br />
The daily battle to drag his carcass out of bed at 6am. The struggle to get him dressed and fed and out the door to catch the bus by 7am.<br />
<br />
The over two hour round trip commute to school. <br />
<br />
The whimpering shadow of my once happy child falling exhausted through the door at 4pm.<br />
<br />
The instant reduction to tears at the mention of homework. The nuclear meltdown if the homework happened to be math.<br />
<br />
The stress caused by demands he learn to play the fucking recorder, complete with threats from music <strike>douchebag</strike> teacher that if he doesn't learn, he might earn a poor grade.<br />
<br />
The effort to maintain friendships with his Deaf friends who are scattered so far and wide that out of school outings are a rarity.<br />
<br />
And the lack of time and energy to make any Hearing friends that might live nearby.<br />
<br />
The whole year was physically, academically, emotionally brutal.<br />
<br />
And then a letter arrived during the final week of this hellish year.<br />
<br />
Owen's school for the Deaf, which rents out space in a public school; which was<a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2010/08/im-one-curled-up-in-fetal-position-in.html"> kicked out of its last</a> host town three years ago and relocated to this current town (an hour away), was being kicked out <em><strong>again</strong></em>.<br />
<br />
The thought of poor anxious Owen, at a brand new school, who knows how far away, in who knows what kind of school district, was too much.<br />
<br />
Anger, frustration, pity, nausea.<br />
<br />
I met his bus that day in the driveway, letter in hand, ready to cry to Owen's driver who also is an aide at his school.<br />
<br />
<em>What do you know? Where will they go? When will we find out? What about his friends? Will they be scattered? What about his Hearing friends at school? </em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>What the stupid fucking fuck are we going to do?! </em><br />
<em></em><br />
My heart<strong> hurt.</strong><br />
<em></em><br />
She had no answers and was just as distressed as I was. And as for Owen's friends at school? She dropped this little nugget on me;<br />
<br />
"He sits alone at lunch you know. Away from his Deaf classmates. Nowhere near any Hearing kids. At his own table. By <em><strong>himself."</strong></em><br />
<br />
At which point my heart exploded out of my chest, dropped to the pavement with an audible <em>splat,</em> and ran screaming off into the woods <span style="font-size: xx-small;">hoping to be devoured by a coyote.</span><br />
<em></em><br />
As it sloshed its way back to me, panting <span style="font-size: xx-small;">having unfortunately outrun the coyote, </span>it imparted unto me an idea. <strong><em>The</em></strong> idea. <br />
<br />
<em>Well that's just about the dumbest idea ever in the history of dumb ideas. Never going to happen. You, my dear heart, are out of your mind.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
But I knew. It was the only way. It was something I'd said hundreds of times I couldn't possibly do. Those who did this thing were clearly not the same species as myself. <br />
<br />
And I planned a phone call to his school's director, ready to be shot down with my crazy pants idea.<br />
<br />
She loved it. Declared it the best idea ever. The best thing for Owen. And let's have a meeting with the School District to put a plan together!<br />
<br />
Well at least School District chick will tell me the truth; "Yes, Mrs. Elefanten that has got to be the worst idea I have heard in my entire career. Excuse me now while I laugh my ass off at you<br />
and your horrible idea."<br />
<br />
District chick loved it too. A lot. The two of them sat there and had the nerve to look me in the eye and tell me I could do it. That I'd be great. That it would be the best thing for Owen. That they would be there for me every step of the way, only a phone call away, to help with whatever we needed.<br />
<br />
Bitches even made me cry because apparently Owen is lucky to have me and my fantastic idea.<br />
<br />
So.<br />
<br />
In early September we put Bea on the bus and sent her off to first grade.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q7lkIlah84Y/UkxXkPAnIXI/AAAAAAAABrg/smDlS-G8z_Y/s1600/kidsfirstday2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q7lkIlah84Y/UkxXkPAnIXI/AAAAAAAABrg/smDlS-G8z_Y/s320/kidsfirstday2013.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And Owen came back into the house and started his school year.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-avhGZ5AJpc8/UkxXuHdPpWI/AAAAAAAABro/-JLiQvr_n9A/s1600/grahamhomeschool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-avhGZ5AJpc8/UkxXuHdPpWI/AAAAAAAABro/-JLiQvr_n9A/s320/grahamhomeschool.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-47904209785641506282013-03-31T07:07:00.000-04:002013-03-31T07:07:00.627-04:00The Best Worst DayI have heard it every March 31st since Owen was born. <br />
<br />
Al; "It was the best day of my life and the worst day of my life, rolled into one."<br />
<br />
And every March 31st, I have disagreed.<br />
<br />
I refuse to burden the day that Owen entered the world with the title, even in part, <em>the</em> <em>worst</em>.<br />
<br />
No. It was not what I had expected. Nor was it easy.<br />
<br />
I do admit, that once a year, I allow myself to go back to that day, back to all the moments that made up that terrifical day. <span style="font-size: x-small;">I think I remember them all. </span><br />
<em></em><br />
And with ten years distance from<a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/033103.html"> that morning</a>, I am able to look at the events with a fair amount of emotional detachment, as if they happened to some other poor girl, long ago, in a land far far away.<br />
<br />
When I do try, when I sift through all the difficult moments of that difficult day for a possible <em>worst?</em> A surprising one rises to the surface;<br />
<br />
<em>Al and I have left Owen in the hands of the med flight crew, the nurse having told me his slim chances of making it to Boston. </em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>We are in the parking garage, walking up the ramp toward our car. </em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>I see our backs. Heads hung low. Shoulders weighted. We're not speaking.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>I'd given birth less than twelve hours before. I knew I should, but was unable to feel physical pain.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>And emotional pain? Also somehow absent.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Empty I was. Body. Arms. Mind.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>We got into our car and I turned to look at Owen's would be car seat.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Empty.</em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Yeah.</span> <br />
<br />
But that moment? That <em>may</em> have been the worst? Was only a wee speck of time.<br />
<br />
Because only a few hours after <em>that </em>moment came the best thing I'd ever heard in my life; a surgeon's voice on the telephone telling me that Owen was alive.<br />
<br />
Followed in a few hours by another best moment; <em>seeing</em> Owen alive.<br />
<br />
And then there were many best days;<br />
<br />
All the days that he was supposed to die and<strong><em> didn't</em></strong>.<br />
<br />
The day he came off ECMO for good. The day I got to hold him. The day he was allowed to breathe on his own. The day he left the ICU. The day he came<a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/owen-born-on-march-31-2003.html"> home.</a><br />
<br />
All bests.<br />
<br />
And the bests kept on coming.<br />
<br />
His first smile. First words. First signs. First hearing aids. First steps.<br />
<br />
Best days ever.<br />
<br />
I may have waited longer than most for his firsts. That only made them better.<br />
<br />
Five years for his first real bites of food. Six years for his first day without needing a tube feed. Seven years for his first day with no feeding tube at all. <br />
<br />
Few of the days have been easy, but that does not make them bad. <br />
<br />
And not one of them has been the worst.<br />
<br />
Now that I think about it? <br />
<br />
I've not yet had a worst day.<br />
<br />
And all my bests? Are probably better than yours. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L36Jd8u4EE4/UVXSRe1uAjI/AAAAAAAABpA/bqJG8v1skdU/s1600/grahambirthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L36Jd8u4EE4/UVXSRe1uAjI/AAAAAAAABpA/bqJG8v1skdU/s320/grahambirthday.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<div align="center">
March 31, 2003. <br />
Best. Day.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-35927398429878082712012-11-26T09:47:00.000-05:002012-11-26T09:47:44.921-05:00Thankfully Reconnected<br />
<br />
I've never taken the kids to our town's big deal Thanksgiving Parade. If I'd gone as a child I have no memory of it.<br />
<br />
And considering where we live? This is shameful of me.<br />
<br />
The kids have had their heads stuffed with all things Thanksgiving, with emphasis on the Pilgrims and the first ever Thanksgiving. They feel proud and special to have this history in their back yard. <br />
<br />
So we went.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8q7w0WEKmQM/ULN113CYmPI/AAAAAAAABoU/kQ5_xtcy3eY/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8q7w0WEKmQM/ULN113CYmPI/AAAAAAAABoU/kQ5_xtcy3eY/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
With a few thousand other folks.<br />
<br />
We found a patch of grass on the hill there on the left, ate some quesadillas (just like the Pilgrims did), and waited for the parade to start.<br />
<br />
I offered up Thanks that the children were sufficiently excited as to ward off impatient whining.<br />
<br />
<em>I Thanked myself for <strong>not</strong> inflicting great bodily harm on the douchebag sitting behind Owen who thought it would be funny to sneak up behind said Deaf kid and throw his hood on his head. Seriously. Some ass hole did that. I sweetly schooled him on what NOT to do to a Deaf person, while his embarrassed wife and kids listened intently.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
And I wasn't at all surprised when a man stopped as he walked past, pointed at Owen and asked me in sign;<br />
<br />
*Deaf?*<br />
<br />
*Yes.*<br />
<br />
*Sign?*<br />
<br />
*Yes.*<br />
<br />
He turned to Owen and signed some more,<br />
<br />
*How old?*, *Your name?*, *What grade?* and so on.<br />
<br />
I hadn't noticed the child with him until the man was signing his<em> goodbye and nice to meet you.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
I'd assumed the man was Deaf until he called after the child and the child turned around;<br />
<br />
And I clapped my hands so hard I thought I'd sprained my wrist.<br />
<br />
I knew this kid.<br />
<br />
<em>Years ago, when Owen was in preschool, just a baby, a new boy came to the program.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Niklaus came from the Czech Republic. He had no hearing, no speech, and knew only a few Czech signs.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>This beautiful little Deaf person had thick curls of blond hair almost to his rear end and the most intense icy blue eyes.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>He thrived in his new signing environment and was using ASL signs within a week. </em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>The staff were amazed at his progress and </em><em>Owen would talk about his friend Nikki often.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>When Kindergarten started, Owen came home sad and told me that Nikki wasn't at his school anymore. He'd asked his teacher and all we knew was that he'd gone to a different school.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>And we never saw or heard from him again.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
Until last Saturday, sitting on the green, rubbing my sore wrist;<br />
<br />
"I<strong><em> know</em></strong> you! You're Niklaus!"<br />
<br />
The father looked baffled as I frantically signed to Owen that this was his long lost friend Nikki.<br />
<br />
When the information clicked into place, Owen's face exploded into joy. He'd remembered.<br />
<br />
And after a few minutes, Nikki did too.<br />
<br />
We spent the rest of the day with Nikki and his Dad Bryan.<br />
<br />
The kids ran around the green, Owen checking in with me often to ask when Nikki could come to our house to play. <br />
<br />
Bryan and I chatted comfortably; he lives right in town, Nikki is mainstreamed in the public school, but still knows and uses sign. He loves Karate. And books. And superheros. <em>He plays the cello</em>.<br />
<br />
He has a hard time connecting with other kids, and could use a friend.<br />
<br />
As luck would have it, Owen is in a similar boat.<br />
<br />
So yesterday, the afternoon sailed by as the boys played in Nikki's room while Bryan filled me in on his fantastic voyage from the Czech republic. An unbelievable, heartbreaking, and triumphant story of survival. <br />
<br />
Not unlike Owen's <em>own</em> tale.<br />
<br />
I'm usually Thankful for the basic stuff this time of year; food, shelter, clothing, kids and family.<br />
<br />
But this year I'm Thankfully indulging in the spectacle of these two boys, neither of whom should even be <em>alive,</em> whom the Universe saw fit to bring back together.tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-78701944696110598012012-11-08T18:44:00.001-05:002012-11-08T22:33:00.454-05:00On Kindergarten, Hangovers, And Hope.A kindergarten classroom would be my last choice in which to spend a hung over morning. But at Bea's open house last month, there was desperate pleading for any parent with the desire and the time, to please volunteer in the class.<br />
<br />
Other people's kids don't thrill me a bunch, I much prefer the over 80 crowd. And I can't say I <em>wanted</em> to give up one kid free weekday morning per week, but not <em>wanting</em> to seemed a poor excuse to not actually<em> do</em> it.<br />
<br />
So I do. Wednesday mornings. Though yesterday, my post-election fog almost had me bailing, sending Bea to school with a note to her teacher claiming *sickness*.<br />
<br />
Despite the headache and fogginess, I was feeling oddly energized and positive, given what had kept me up so late.<br />
<br />
Tuesday had started out with yet another discussion with Bea and Owen of all things election;<br />
<br />
<em>Who is the President?</em><br />
<br />
<em>What is his job?</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Who is the other guy?</em><br />
<br />
<em>No, they aren't actually going to be running alongside each other.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>Who should <strong>we</strong> vote for Mommy?</em><br />
<br />
"Well, I'm going to vote for the guy who wants everyone to love everyone. The guy who wants to help people. They guy who wants <strong><em>us</em></strong> to want to help people."<br />
<br />
And many more questions over breakfast as we prepared to head to the high school down the street to vote. Trying to keep it simple for the five-year old, and utilizing newly obtained signs for the Deaf nine-year old.<br />
<br />
Owen made me stop in the driveway as we were about to leave, ran into the house to fetch his encyclopedia of past presidents.<br />
<br />
Bea became silent and appeared terrified as we made our way across the parking lot into the school;<br />
<br />
"I'm scared. I don't want to talk to the President." <span style="font-size: x-small;">So damn cute.</span><br />
<br />
"Oh, I would LOVE to talk to him, but sadly he's not going to be here today."<br />
<br />
They hovered over me while I took the sharpie to the ballot and filled in my ovals.<br />
<br />
Then it was their turn.<br />
<br />
How cool is my state?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RfNwkR4DWfo/UJxC1uUsKDI/AAAAAAAABns/R4DhgHye9MI/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RfNwkR4DWfo/UJxC1uUsKDI/AAAAAAAABns/R4DhgHye9MI/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The rest of our day was spent exercising our rights to get hair cuts, to eat great southwestern food, and to attend karate class.<br />
<br />
The second the kids were tucked in, I assumed the position in the big living room chair, wielding remote control and iPhone, cross stitch project on lap, wine glass filled to brim, and election coverage on the TV.<br />
<br />
I rather enjoyed the bumpy ride. Just ask the mostly empty wine bottle.<em><span style="font-size: x-small;"> The big one.</span></em><br />
<br />
And then, just after 11pm, feeling more of a fun mix of relief and disbelief than of victory. And quite possibly a goofy grin.<br />
<br />
Before I know it, I'm standing in a kindergarten classroom, cursing the flourescent light, wincing at the sound of the bell, wishing the little voices actually sounded little, as I perform my assigned tasks of cutting and folding and stapling.<br />
<br />
Story time happens. Being the month of Thanksgiving, the focus is on family, and the book of the day visits all different kinds of families.<br />
<br />
I find myself abandoning my cutting and turning my attention to the teacher as she reads. It went pretty much like this;<br />
<br />
<em>Some families have a Mommy and a Daddy. Some have only a Mommy or only a Daddy. Some families have step-parents and step-siblings.</em><br />
<br />
And because I'm a dork, when she got to the next part?<br />
<br />
<em>Some families have two Mommies, and some have two Daddies.</em><br />
<br />
I teared up.<br />
<br />
I teared the fuck right up.<br />
<br />
Because I know a boy in the class who has two Mommies. And not one kid on that rug thought anything of it. Not a hand raised to question, not a snicker or a giggle. A family is a family is a family. Love is love is love.<br />
<br />
I know that this is a very small part of what Tuesday's decision means.<br />
<br />
But in that classroom, surrounded by those kids who get to grow up with that understanding of love, I felt so stupidly hopeful.<br />
<br />
And if things had taken a different turn on Tuesday?<br />
<br />
I'd have been crying for a different reason.tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-50102264648790677082012-09-24T13:29:00.001-04:002012-10-18T14:09:22.115-04:00Nuggets of Deaf Awareness<br />
<br />
I'm not sure how I feel about Awareness campaigns.<br />
<br />
That is a lie. <br />
<br />
I know <em>exactly </em>how I feel, I just don't want to share those feelings at this time as it happens to be Deaf Awareness Week and I've got a Deaf kid.<br />
<br />
Over the past several mostly non-blogging months, there have been some bright shining moments of Awareness that are worth sharing and celebrating.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Awkward teenage girl at movie ticket counter is now a bit more aware</strong></em>;<br />
<br />
Me: "Three kids and an adult for Brave."<br />
<br />
Her: "Uhhh. OK." Nervously; "I don't know if you're <em>aware</em>, but it is a captioned viewing. So the words will be on the screen. I hope that's not a problem."<br />
<br />
Me: Big smile. Right hand giving her thumb up. Left index finger pointing back and forth between Owen and his Deaf friend Jay; "Deaf kids. Score!"<br />
<br />
Her: <em>"Uhhhhh. Ohhhkaaaay?"</em><br />
<br />
<em>*******</em><br />
<br />
<em><strong>Old lady sitting next to me at pond requested the awareness</strong>;</em><br />
<br />
After seeing/reading Brave, I took the kids for a swim.<br />
<br />
The second we staked our claim on the perfect patch of sand, Owen and Jay bolted toward the water.<br />
<br />
Me: <em><strong><span style="font-size: large;"> "DEAF KIDS!!!!"</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
The boys trudged back toward my outstretched hands. Owen placed his hearing aids in one hand. Jay placed his cochlear implant processors in the other.<br />
<br />
I signed my thanks and gave orders for being careful and polite and all the requisite pre swim jazz and sent them on their way.<br />
<br />
I assumed there were numerous pairs of eyes pointed at me. I chose to make contact with the old lady to my right. <br />
<br />
She beamed at me and asked a zillion questions about the boys, the differences in their technology, their school, their language, and their lives in general.<br />
<br />
And I believe we may have made her day.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Hopefully Verizon guy will pass Awareness along;</strong></em><br />
<br />
As a beginning of school treat, I rented The Lorax on demand for Bea and Owen.<br />
<br />
As the movie started, I fiddled with the remote and couldn't seem to get the captions to come on. Owen is getting anxious and whiny as I call Verizon to see what the problem is as we've always been able to get the captions to work.<br />
<br />
The nice young man attempts to school me on the workings of the remote, I assure him that I know how to make the captions appear and nothing is working. <br />
<br />
He then asks me if I'd noticed when I'd rented it, if it<em> said</em> that captioning was available for the movie, because as it turned out, they were NOT available for The Lorax.<br />
<br />
I insisted there was no such information given, and it would be nice to have known that beforehand as I have a Deaf kid who is now in tears because he can't read his movie.<br />
<br />
Nice young man goes on to explain that the children's movies aren't usually captioned, at which point I cut him off and politely (no really, I was polite) tell him that there are in fact children who are Deaf <em> and</em> that they very much like movies. <br />
<br />
He apologizes profusely, assures me that he will mention it to someone, and passes me along to a customer service person who will refund my money.<br />
<br />
My favorite part is when he transfers me I hear a recording saying that there is an unusual call volume and I will be waiting a long time for assistance. He's still there and says;<br />
<br />
"No. That's not cool. You're cutting in line."<br />
<br />
Customer service person listens to my story, agrees that it should state if the movie is captioned or not, apologizes, and credits my account.<br />
<br />
I then tell Owen that he won't be reading his movie and crank up the volume.<br />
<br />
And<em> then</em> I check the main menu, where it <em><strong>SHOULD</strong></em> have clearly stated whether or not the movie was captioned.<br />
<br />
It clearly stated that it was<strong> NOT.</strong><br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
<em><strong>In which I am made aware of a very specific animal sound</strong>,</em><br />
<br />
The county fair is a summer must.<br />
<br />
As I walk the kids around, I'm on the alert for sounds that are and are <em>not </em>available to Owen.<br />
<br />
The toothless carnies shouting demands that we throw money at their unwinnable games? Owen is oblivious.<br />
<br />
The scary shrieks and bangs in the<em> Haunted House? </em>He hears enough. Enough to be a brave big brother and see his little sister through.<br />
<br />
The animals. <br />
<br />
Baby goats and their wee little bleats. He leans in close and hears them.<br />
<br />
Chickens. He hears the clucking. He asks and is allowed to hold one. And is so scared of the thing he nearly strangles it.<br />
<br />
I see a group huddled around a pen. I hear an odd grunting sound and peek over someones shoulder.<br />
<br />
A large,<em> really large</em> tortoise. I wonder if Owen can hear it. So I get his attention, sign to him that there is a huge turtle as he runs over to me.<br />
<br />
Woman whose shoulder I had peered over is giving me a curious stare as I grab Owen and lift him up to see and hopefully<em> hear</em> the turtle.<br />
<br />
I hadn't thought much of the look the woman gave me as I was too concerned with Owen getting the full turtle experience.<br />
<br />
And now I am aware that people don't just give me weird looks because I'm signing to my kid.<br />
<br />
They also give me weird looks when I hold my Deaf kid up so he can watch giant turtles have extremely loud sex.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
<strong><em>Bea is as aware as one can be;</em></strong><br />
<br />
Owen can barely hear Bea. <br />
<br />
The constant chatter of her high pitched voice is just not accessible to him. <br />
<br />
Most of what she says, if he cares to know it, I have to repeat to him, or give him in sign.<br />
<br />
I've been on a mission to make the two more self sufficient in their communication. I'd love to remove myself from their equation.<br />
<br />
So I encourage Bea to use the signs she knows. Remind her to face him and to be aware of the noise level in the room that could interfere with his understanding. And implore her to be patient when Owen asks her to repeat what she's said.<br />
<br />
None of the above is going very well. As evidenced by this exchange as we were getting ready to go swimming;<br />
<br />
Me; "Bea, do you have everything you need?"<br />
<br />
Bea; "My orange towel! It's upstairs! I'll go get it!"<br />
<br />
Owen; "What she said?"<br />
<br />
Now. It is just a towel. He's not been deprived of some important piece of information. But it is these little incidental bits that he misses that make my brain scream <em>'No fair!'</em>. So if he demands to know what his sister said, as insignificant as it may be, then he has the right to know it.<br />
<br />
Me; "Bea. Tell Owen what you said, he missed it."<br />
<br />
Bea; "No."<br />
<br />
Me; "Tell him please, he wants to know. It isn't fair. Tell him please now."<br />
<br />
Bea; <strong>"NO."</strong><br />
<br />
So on and so forth for far too long, but I am determined to make my point. <br />
<br />
Finally, I resort to threats of not going swimming;<br />
<br />
"Bea. You're going to tell him what you said <em>right</em>?"<br />
<br />
"No. I can't. I didn't <strong><em>HEAR</em></strong> myself."<br />
<br />
Aparently she is determined to make her own point.<br />
<br />
Atta girl.<br />
<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Possibly more Deaf Awareness stuff later this week.<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-50745561729859872882012-09-03T11:33:00.001-04:002012-09-23T23:09:36.597-04:00Summer 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Remember that summer when all I did was drag the kids to the;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F3998KC8cJE/UESa3qXtz6I/AAAAAAAABeo/JDQ5ewd4XeM/s1600/beachkid.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F3998KC8cJE/UESa3qXtz6I/AAAAAAAABeo/JDQ5ewd4XeM/s320/beachkid.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Beach</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xgs2sHvJtes/UESiYxT7ovI/AAAAAAAABjI/YgFuTIo4b64/s1600/dotpoolbut.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xgs2sHvJtes/UESiYxT7ovI/AAAAAAAABjI/YgFuTIo4b64/s320/dotpoolbut.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And the pool,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DhMbO4Aa2bg/UESjAFbwPsI/AAAAAAAABjc/zpkYmWtMAGg/s1600/dotfeetpond.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DhMbO4Aa2bg/UESjAFbwPsI/AAAAAAAABjc/zpkYmWtMAGg/s320/dotfeetpond.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And the pond?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And every time I dragged them to</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NPTqUwcof6Y/UESjYlGJsvI/AAAAAAAABjk/3FRIKjM9G-o/s1600/dotcastle.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NPTqUwcof6Y/UESjYlGJsvI/AAAAAAAABjk/3FRIKjM9G-o/s320/dotcastle.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The beach,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pNAIdXkOqOU/UESjcBgM5BI/AAAAAAAABjs/4WF9YQl9RqE/s1600/grahamwalkonwater.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pNAIdXkOqOU/UESjcBgM5BI/AAAAAAAABjs/4WF9YQl9RqE/s320/grahamwalkonwater.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or the pool,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wo9hFnn5maA/UESjeOXpJ-I/AAAAAAAABj0/sHgx7ikQcKE/s1600/downwarddog.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wo9hFnn5maA/UESjeOXpJ-I/AAAAAAAABj0/sHgx7ikQcKE/s320/downwarddog.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or the pond;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
They'd be fighting and whining and complaining as I tried to pack all the necessities required for a day at</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y6CCixRVRjY/UESkJtJsVRI/AAAAAAAABj8/tvPzmgchn_g/s1600/grahamsurf.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y6CCixRVRjY/UESkJtJsVRI/AAAAAAAABj8/tvPzmgchn_g/s320/grahamsurf.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The beach</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z28YoPTtJlM/UESkM6k7drI/AAAAAAAABkE/pRFwlUE98tY/s1600/kidspool.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z28YoPTtJlM/UESkM6k7drI/AAAAAAAABkE/pRFwlUE98tY/s320/kidspool.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or the pool,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VB1fRFPuaa0/UESkP2gEIQI/AAAAAAAABkM/w7o27HxFagg/s1600/dotbutt.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VB1fRFPuaa0/UESkP2gEIQI/AAAAAAAABkM/w7o27HxFagg/s320/dotbutt.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or the pond.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And somehow I'd manage to remember all the proper snacks and drinks and sunblock and bug spray and sand toys and boogie boards and goggles and masks and books and extra clothes and towels and five hundred other things.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And you'd think the children would sing my praises for such a feat.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
They would not. But they<em> would</em> remind of that one <em>forgotten</em> thing and piss and moan about it all day.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
You know how exhausting it is to referee Deaf kid and Hearing sister at the;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YA5wJudObjA/UESmf_-JaXI/AAAAAAAABkY/-GtzN8yy3c8/s1600/grahambeach.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YA5wJudObjA/UESmf_-JaXI/AAAAAAAABkY/-GtzN8yy3c8/s320/grahambeach.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
beach,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VaQQu9z5OBs/UESmsKlL8_I/AAAAAAAABkg/zV6GFEXhX2w/s1600/dengrahamjump.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VaQQu9z5OBs/UESmsKlL8_I/AAAAAAAABkg/zV6GFEXhX2w/s320/dengrahamjump.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or the pool,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K5mV0boFP28/UESmxiKHmkI/AAAAAAAABk4/r-lxmFc6Duo/s1600/dotbluetongue.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K5mV0boFP28/UESmxiKHmkI/AAAAAAAABk4/r-lxmFc6Duo/s320/dotbluetongue.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or the pond?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So. Very. Exhausting.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Which is why this day at the water park made me so damn happy.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nBeyhTIbblA/UESnNw1YVHI/AAAAAAAABlM/_syMj0oCPFg/s1600/whalestale.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nBeyhTIbblA/UESnNw1YVHI/AAAAAAAABlM/_syMj0oCPFg/s320/whalestale.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Deaf Kids Signing At Water Park.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Remind me to tell you some day about our how our movie theater in town got all sorts of high tech stuff for Deaf folks, thus greatly enhancing Owen's moviegoing experience.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Also remind me to tell you about how badly I <em>didn't</em> want to correct Owen when he talked about his favorite movies;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1667889/">Ice Age 4; Carnival of Death</a> and<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623288/"> PronounMan</a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
How about that time, after a typically draining day at </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lbm3CGYIg4E/UETEwqCBBvI/AAAAAAAABlw/9RdX2_Z8jmY/s1600/grahamcastle.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lbm3CGYIg4E/UETEwqCBBvI/AAAAAAAABlw/9RdX2_Z8jmY/s320/grahamcastle.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
the beach,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4tsUsb9OTpw/UETE4o7O6pI/AAAAAAAABl4/7ncJ3q6Kr_g/s1600/poolsqueaker.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4tsUsb9OTpw/UETE4o7O6pI/AAAAAAAABl4/7ncJ3q6Kr_g/s320/poolsqueaker.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or the pool,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eq2kn0AaNNs/UETE6QmgIDI/AAAAAAAABmA/QtL7FdTvMzI/s1600/grhambluetongue.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eq2kn0AaNNs/UETE6QmgIDI/AAAAAAAABmA/QtL7FdTvMzI/s320/grhambluetongue.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or the pond,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
when the kids and I were sitting at the dinner table and they thought they'd rename themselves; Owen declared himeself Fart-O, Bea chose Stink-O, and both of them agreed I shall now be known as Wine-O.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or how about the time the kids met their<a href="http://www.tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2012/01/impossible-girl.html"> newest cousin</a>?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BpP45igsKwY/UETHIrwlOJI/AAAAAAAABmI/oIqvp1bjGoE/s1600/firstfay.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BpP45igsKwY/UETHIrwlOJI/AAAAAAAABmI/oIqvp1bjGoE/s320/firstfay.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tlC1JX2CBiA/UETIJpk-OGI/AAAAAAAABmQ/4JiO_efKRwY/s1600/fay.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tlC1JX2CBiA/UETIJpk-OGI/AAAAAAAABmQ/4JiO_efKRwY/s320/fay.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Or all the times they got to do,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xc1vkB7HU4Q/UETJG71YfxI/AAAAAAAABmg/9LI5AZLB4fM/s1600/bonfire.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xc1vkB7HU4Q/UETJG71YfxI/AAAAAAAABmg/9LI5AZLB4fM/s320/bonfire.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
this,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oYffysxU2zQ/UETJLaJNakI/AAAAAAAABmo/cJetRE4i0ic/s1600/firegirls.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oYffysxU2zQ/UETJLaJNakI/AAAAAAAABmo/cJetRE4i0ic/s320/firegirls.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or this,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bz_gKB8cem4/UETJP8_9z6I/AAAAAAAABmw/s9gS99MdHrk/s1600/grahamfirework.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bz_gKB8cem4/UETJP8_9z6I/AAAAAAAABmw/s9gS99MdHrk/s320/grahamfirework.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or this,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wcCaYq6-Dw0/UETKHX7nZCI/AAAAAAAABm4/p62Mv4AYmoM/s1600/caves.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wcCaYq6-Dw0/UETKHX7nZCI/AAAAAAAABm4/p62Mv4AYmoM/s320/caves.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or this,</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRyE1v778ts/UETKJaUIRNI/AAAAAAAABnA/xmJv3TF7z2U/s1600/sleepover.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRyE1v778ts/UETKJaUIRNI/AAAAAAAABnA/xmJv3TF7z2U/s320/sleepover.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
or this?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
They are damn lucky kids.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I was lucky to do this a few times even.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ehfou-y6bvo/UETIcdSoGqI/AAAAAAAABmY/hpoQNsXselw/s1600/feetup.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ehfou-y6bvo/UETIcdSoGqI/AAAAAAAABmY/hpoQNsXselw/s1600/feetup.JPG" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And after a long summer day of frolicking at the beach or the pool or the pond, after hours of bickering and interpreting and intervening, if when we pulled into the driveway and the kids were fighting over who was going to get to the door first before the car had even <em>stopped</em>, wouldn't it have been <strong>hysterical</strong> if as soon as they slammed the car doors Al backed the car up and took off down the road leaving Bea and Owen crying in the driveway thinking we'd abandoned them?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Of course we would<em> never</em> do such a thing.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
What kind of <strike>Awesome Parents</strike> monsters do you take us for?</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-4945799528302973242012-06-22T00:00:00.000-04:002012-06-22T08:40:31.500-04:00Fuck You Friday! #SNRyan edition.Fuck You Old Man,<br />
<br />
I happen to love old people. <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Office">More than most people</a>.<br />
<br />
But ignorant assholes? I can do without.<br />
<br />
You with your hag wife and me with my kids. The ONLY patrons at<a href="http://www.moes.com/"> Moe's</a> this afternoon.<br />
<br />
They're fucking<em> children</em>. Do you really think they are going to arrive at the ice machine and NOT fight over whom fills their cup first?<br />
<br />
And seeing as we were the ONLY people in the fucking place, did you <em>have</em> to try to squeeze through the two feet between said bickering kids and a fucking empty table?<br />
<br />
Clearly going<em> around</em> the table wouldn't have been the wiser choice.<br />
<br />No. You had to push your way through. And get bumped by my kids, hence spilling your drink.<br />
<br />
And proceed to stand there glaring unkindly at frightened Bea and Owen.<br />
<br />
I tried. While holding my tray filled with fucking delicious quesadillas; I tried to sign to my Deaf kid that he needed to apologize for making you spill your drink. Even though it really wasn't his fault.<br />
<br />
And I expected your expression to soften once you realized you were staring down a fucking DEAF kid. But no.<br />
<br />
You hardened your stink eye, huffed and grumped off.<br />
<br />
You sir, are old enough to know better.<br />
<br />
And old enough to fuck the fuck off.<br />
<br />
Ryan would like to weigh in:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6znh0cjkYJo/T-PIevavxpI/AAAAAAAABGU/g_DSYvibStg/s1600/eye-candy-ryan-gosling-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" rca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6znh0cjkYJo/T-PIevavxpI/AAAAAAAABGU/g_DSYvibStg/s640/eye-candy-ryan-gosling-7.jpg" width="472" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
*******</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Fuck you summer,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Though I do enjoy the lack of homework battles and mad dashes to the bus every morning. And chicken wings on the grill and drinks by the fire kick plenty of ass. The whole swimming thing is exhausting.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And we swim. A lot.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Friends and relatives with beautiful pools. A pond across the street. The ocean everywhere.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So far this week? Pool Wednesday, pond yesterday and the ocean today.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It is not physically exhausting. It is mentally and emotionally draining.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hearing aids and fancy FM system are not compatible with sand and water. I swallow a lump every time I have him hand me his aids. 'Cause when he's in the water, he can't hear a damn thing.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And you'd think that having been Deaf for the past 8.5 years, our friends and family would know this.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You'd be wrong.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Just last week, a very close member of the family was talking to Owen in the pool. He swam away mid sentence and this person actually asked me;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"How much does he hear without his hearing aids?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
For fucking real.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yeah. That ten grand worth of amplification he wears is just for show. He can totally hear without it.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I asked Owen later that day;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"How do you feel when people talk to you when you're not wearing your hearing aids?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"Sad I think?"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ack.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So fuck anyone who talks to my Deaf kid at the pool/pond/beach. Ask me to interpret for fuck's sake.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
That is, until Ryan's gift arrives;</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D4KTe4iEOEg/T-RlFzWACGI/AAAAAAAABRg/bvNoxk4bhP4/s1600/eye-candy-ryan-gosling-008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" rca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D4KTe4iEOEg/T-RlFzWACGI/AAAAAAAABRg/bvNoxk4bhP4/s640/eye-candy-ryan-gosling-008.jpg" width="472" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/">Sunday</a> had a shit week, so it looks like there's no link up today.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hope you're feeling better soon Sunday!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
*******</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
*ingnoranus: one who in ignorant <em>AND</em> an ass hole. I didn't make this word up. But am certain whomever did, would be pleased to know that it is being used to its full potential.</div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-62702984202691634952012-06-19T09:45:00.000-04:002012-06-19T09:45:06.124-04:00learning things.<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Even if one is not a fan of advice, the giving or receiving, some things are too important not to pass on to an expectant first time mother:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-W68x5QTiPoQ/T-B6LVx1FwI/AAAAAAAAAn0/vPmvpkRs69Y/s1600/parentingadvicetext.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" rca="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-W68x5QTiPoQ/T-B6LVx1FwI/AAAAAAAAAn0/vPmvpkRs69Y/s320/parentingadvicetext.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
*******<br />
When you see a giant chalk penis drawn on the playground parking lot?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U41g2vVZFT8/T-B6_Ta-NgI/AAAAAAAAAoA/G2gL9tRT2BY/s1600/penis.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U41g2vVZFT8/T-B6_Ta-NgI/AAAAAAAAAoA/G2gL9tRT2BY/s320/penis.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Before taking a picture of it <span style="font-size: x-small;">(as if you wouldn't take a picture of it),</span> do a quick scan of your surroundings to be sure that your five year old's preschool friend isn't standing behind you. <br />
<br />
With her grandmother.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
The blooming of tiger lilies is a highly anticipated event.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j_NdIHhOJoE/T-B7WEm9JPI/AAAAAAAAAoI/j2LEqhf603E/s1600/tigerlily.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rca="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j_NdIHhOJoE/T-B7WEm9JPI/AAAAAAAAAoI/j2LEqhf603E/s320/tigerlily.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
And one cannot resist allowing excited five year old to pick "Just one <em>please!!??"</em><br />
<br />
Much squeaking and squealing as sweet girl carefully selects the perfect specimen, gazes lovingly at it as she brings it to her nose, and bursts into tears as her prize;<br />
<br />
"Doesn't smell like <strong><em>tiger!!!!"</em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em>*******</em></strong><br />
<br />
One should be able to allow a nine year old to get himself dressed.<br />
<br />
One <em>might </em>want to appraise child's outfit before letting him out the door.<br />
<br />
On picture day.<br />
<br />
He might be placed in the front row.<br />
<br />
With his pants noticeably on backwards.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Fancy FM system for Deaf child will allow him to hear the wearer anywhere the wearer goes.<br />
<br />
The wearer may want to turn device off while going to the bathroom;<br />
<br />
"Yup. Mommy going potty. I hear her. <em><strong> Mom!!</strong></em> You <em><strong>fart??!!"</strong></em><br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Five years old has a <em>wicked</em> imagination. <br />
<br />
Sticks and mud become culinary delights;<br />
<br />
"Horse poop and tittlers" is pretend delicious. <br />
<br />
Coining phrases is endless fun;<br />
<br />
"Tight as a squirrel's butt!" <br />
<br />
It is not always necessary to ask for explanation.<br />
<br />
"Rufies" is the <em>best</em> name for an imaginary puppy.<br />
<br />
And making up words will never get old;<br />
<br />
"Mom! I made up a new word! You want to hear it?"<br />
<br />
"Of course!"<br />
<br />
"Fukkah!"<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-63396216332782486912012-06-12T14:10:00.001-04:002012-06-12T18:32:28.591-04:00C25K With The Bitches<span style="background-color: white;">Left on Justine.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">'Something filled up my heart with nothing</span></em><br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;"> Someone told me not to cry...'</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Nice old couple on the right. I think he's losing his shit. Always cleaning the garage that seems ever more cluttered. But nice that he keeps busy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Young couple on the left. They moved in a couple years ago. Have had two children since. We share a fence with them. I've never laid eyes on the woman. Fucking weirdo.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Houses moving past faster. Children playing. Swimmers swimming. Planters planting. Mowers mowing.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">'With my lighnin' bolts a glowin'</span></em><br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">I can see where I am goin' to be</span></em><br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.'</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: x-small;">"Begin running."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Left on Maureen. She is my favorite. Gently sloping downhill. I can pretend it is easy with Maureen.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">'I wheeled around because I didn't hear what you had said </span></em><br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">And saw you dancing with Elihu </span></em><br />
<em><span style="background-color: white;">Up on Leemor's bed'</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"<span style="font-size: x-small;">Begin walking."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Hmm. I could have kept going.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I could wimp out and hang a right on Linda. But stick with Maureen til she ends.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: x-small;">"Begin running."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Head up. Shoulders back. Eyes fixed on the horizon. Funny how as my spine is being violently compressed with each punishing step, I manage to feel so tall.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><em>'Stars hide your fires,</em><br /><em>And these here are my desires</em><br /><em>And I will give them up to you this time around</em><br /><em>And so, I'll be found </em><br /><em>with my steak stuck in this ground</em><br /><em>Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul</em><br /><em>hide your fires,</em><br /><em>these are my desires'</em><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Begin walking."</span><br /><br />Thank fuck. Maureen is in a mood today.<br /><br />Past Nancy.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Begin running."</span><br /><br />OK. So this barely resembles running. It isn't fast. It isn't pretty. But it <em>isn't</em> walking.<br /><br /><em>'Some come to laugh their past away</em><br /><em>Some come to make it just one more day</em><br /><em>Whichever way your pleasure tends</em><br /><em>If you plant ice you're gonna harvest the wind'</em><br /><br />Right on Justine. Avenue this time. Not Road. Seriously, who names TWO roads in the same neighborhood <em>Justine?</em> Know what? Justine is a whore. Pretty sure anyone named Justine has banged the football team under the bleachers. <br /><br />Mostly I hate Justine for her curves. She is all uphill. And my shitty timing always has me <em>running</em> up her.<br /><br />I'm still waiting to get<em> high</em> by the way. I feel the fire of a thousand suns burning in my chest. Trachea reduced to the diameter of a coffee straw. Leg muscles are quivering gelatinous masses.<br /><br />Really. To those who think <em>this</em> is getting high? I had way more fun than you in college.<br /><br /><em>'The world as I see it is a remarkable place</em>.'<br /><br />Sweet old lady walking sweet little dog acknowledges my effort;<br /><br />"You're doing great!"<br /><br />*gasp* <strong>"This Sucks!"</strong> *gasp*<br /><br />I hack out a lung for her pup to munch on.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Begin walking."</span><br /><br />If I were home on my nice eliptical machine in my nice basement; I'd have called it quits by now. But all the way in the back corner of the neighborhood, I've no choice but to haul my ass back home.<br /><br /><em>'You are the eagle, you are the lark</em><br /><em>You are the world and you're remarkable'</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Past Dorothy on the left. <em>Dorothy</em>. Who would name a kid Dorothy? She was probably with Justine under those bleachers.<em> In the 1940's</em></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Begin running."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>'<span style="font-size: small;">My heart like a kick drum!'</span></em></span><br />
<br />A heart attacked wrapped in a stroke wrapped in an aneuyrism is what this feels like. And this is somehow good for me? <br /><br />Amazingly it is.<br /><br />I do<strong><em> hate</em></strong> every. fucking. step.<br /><br />But.<br /><br />It prevents mother nature from bitch slapping me with a monthly migraine. It dimishes homicidal tendencies. It increases patience. It sleeps great.<br /><br />So. <br /><br />Thanks bitches.<br /><br />See you in the morning.<br /><br /><br />*******<br /><br />Soundtrack:<br /><br />"Wake Up" - Arcade Fire<br />"Sample in a Jar" - Phish<br />"Roll Away Your Stone" - Mumford and Sons<br />"Franklin's Tower" - Grateful Dead<br />"The World As I see it" - Jason Mraz<br />
"Kick Drum Heart" - The Avett Brothers<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-51273429010610065722012-06-05T14:22:00.001-04:002012-06-05T14:26:33.199-04:00Bad Words Movie Review: The Avengers<br />
<div style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
</div>
Al took Owen to see it as soon as it came out. I got stuck home with a sick Bea.<br />
<br />
I was displeased.<br />
<br />
Luckily, the weather has been total shit for the past week (really, I wish I had a dick so I could tell the fucking weather to <em>Suck It</em>) and lacking anything better to do, dragged the kids to see it this past weekend.<br />
<br />
I was very pleased.<br />
<br />
Under Owen's influence, I've become quite the Super Hero movie aficionado.<br />
<br />
I dig cool effects, evil dudes, and the good guy always winning.<br />
<br />
The Avengers of course delivers on all these counts.<br />
<br />
But it also delivers something of far greater importance.<br />
<br />
Hotness.<br />
<br />
So. Much. Hotness.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Thor:</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
The Chippendale physique usually doesn't do it for me.<br />
<br />
But:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://film-book.com/the-avengers-2012-movie-clip-another-bout-and-20-photos/"><img height="452" id="il_fi" src="http://film-book.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/chris-hemsworth-the-avengers-01-800x533.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="679" /></a><br />
<em> <span style="font-size: x-small;">I'd like two tickets to the gun show please.</span> </em><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoX52NM5PBgMA6RyJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dchris%2Bhemsworth%2Bthor%26sado%3D1%26n%3D30%26ei%3Dutf-8%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701-1%26fr2%3Dsg-gac%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D1&w=450&h=300&imgurl=cdn.sheknows.com%2Farticles%2F2011%2F05%2Fthor-chris-hemsworth.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sheknows.com%2Fentertainment%2Farticles%2F830165%2Fchris-hemsworth-is-thor&size=80.6+KB&name=Australian+Chris+Hemsworth+is+ready+for+his+close-up.+Audiences+first+got+a+look+at+his+steely+blue+eyes&p=chris+hemsworth+thor&oid=af9d36aae36666b0a470a01b49813e5e&fr2=sg-gac&fr=yfp-t-701-1&tt=Australian%2BChris%2BHemsworth%2Bis%2Bready%2Bfor%2Bhis%2Bclose-up.%2BAudiences%2Bfirst%2Bgot%2Ba%2Blook%2Bat%2Bhis%2Bsteely%2Bblue%2Beyes&b=0&ni=72&no=1&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12dv3m1to&sigb=143qcuv52&sigi=11qmih015&.crumb=EeLe5yKiKcF"><img alt="Image Detail" height="300" id="main-img" src="http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2011/05/thor-chris-hemsworth.jpg" title="Australian Chris Hemsworth is ready for his close-up. Audiences first got a look at his steely blue eyes as Captain Kirk’s father George in the J.J. Abrams Star ..." width="450" /></a><em></em><br />
<em> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Ack that's a sweet face, no?</span></em><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Oh, and he's loyal and brave and honorable and all that crap too.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Loki:</em></strong></span><br />
<br />
Thor's evil sort of brother.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoS7XNc5P4WcAEuyJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dtom%2Bhiddleston%2Bloki%26phrase%3D1%26sado%3D1%26n%3D30%26ei%3Dutf-8%26fr2%3Dsg-gac%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D46&w=594&h=576&imgurl=www.glamzzle.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F10%2Ftom-hiddleston-in-full-loki-costume.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.glamzzle.com%2Fa-loki-skrull-alliance-in-the-upcoming-avengers-movie.html&size=80.6+KB&name=Actor+Tom+Hiddleston+%28Loki%29+Discusses+Whether+Or+Not+He%26%2339%3Bll+Be+Getting+...&p=tom+hiddleston+loki&oid=d17fe63d5b8289173a9cf76c106398c5&fr2=sg-gac&fr=&tt=Actor%2BTom%2BHiddleston%2B%2528Loki%2529%2BDiscusses%2BWhether%2BOr%2BNot%2BHe%2526%252339%253Bll%2BBe%2BGetting%2B...&b=31&ni=96&no=46&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=12if69jdh&sigb=13tk593pd&sigi=12jd9p88d&.crumb=EeLe5yKiKcF"><img alt="Image Detail" height="546" id="main-img" src="http://www.glamzzle.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/tom-hiddleston-in-full-loki-costume.jpg" title="Actor Tom Hiddleston (Loki) Discusses Whether Or Not He'll Be Getting ..." width="564" /></a><br />
<br />
I wanted to think he was hot. I really did. So I googled him a bit and found the actor to be on the effeminate side. <br />
<br />
So I googled more to see if he's gay. I was so hoping he was. <br />
<br />
Cause I can't find an effeminate straight guy hot. <br />
<br />
Sorry Loki.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Steve Rogers/Captain America:</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<em>Here's</em> one for the gays:<br />
<br />
<img height="641" id="il_fi" src="http://www.badhaven.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Captain-America-in-Avengers-picslice.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="478" /><br />
<em> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Isn't he pretty?</span></em><br />
Maybe too pretty.<br />
<br />
However,<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.fempop.com/2012/05/07/the-women-of-the-avengers-are-great-even-sans-bechdel-test/"><img height="400" id="il_fi" src="http://www.fempop.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Captain-Americas-Butt.gif" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="500" /></a><br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">You're welcome ladies and gays.</span></em><br />
<em><br /> </em>I did appreciate the gratuitous ass shots.<br />
<br />
And his 1940's aww shucks innocence is fucking adorable.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Black Widow:</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Speaking of gratuitous ass shots.<br />
<br />
<em>Aplenty.</em><br />
<a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?start=428&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1441&bih=619&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Bzl1xKlEIr74BM:&imgrefurl=http://www.highdefjunkies.com/showthread.php%3F12886-Newest-Avengers-trailer/page2&docid=5LAz9IyoStwQMM&imgurl=http://www.fhm.com/imgs/630/500/0/original/scarlett-johansson-the-avengers-1.jpgx&w=314&h=500&ei=5qzLT8TpHOH16AGphIgg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=487&vpy=183&dur=52&hovh=283&hovw=178&tx=85&ty=283&sig=109190434378244020125&page=16&tbnh=143&tbnw=93&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:24,s:428,i:121"><img height="500" id="il_fi" src="http://www.fhm.com/imgs/630/500/0/original/scarlett-johansson-the-avengers-1.jpgx" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="314" /></a><br />
<br />
I must say I felt robbed in the boob department. Girlfriend's got fabulous tits.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoKyCOs5PIikA7lKJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dscarlett%2Bjohansson%26phrase%3D1%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701-1-s%26fr2%3Dpiv-web%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D50&w=1024&h=768&imgurl=www.stud-center.com%2Fwallpaper%2Fscarlett-johansson%2Fscarlett-johansson-22510.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stud-center.com%2Fwallpaper%2Fscarlett-johansson%2F22510.html&size=40.3+KB&name=Scarlett+Johansson+Wallpapers.+Pictures%2C+photos%2C+Scarlett+Johansson+...&p=scarlett+johansson&oid=cc4591942ab7d602b9a5467b6db8b442&fr2=piv-web&fr=yfp-t-701-1-s&tt=Scarlett%2BJohansson%2BWallpapers.%2BPictures%252C%2Bphotos%252C%2BScarlett%2BJohansson%2B...&b=31&ni=96&no=50&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=122iv3phf&sigb=13p01dbnu&sigi=12dvbvduu&.crumb=EeLe5yKiKcF"><img alt="Image Detail" height="300" id="main-img" src="http://www.stud-center.com/wallpaper/scarlett-johansson/scarlett-johansson-22510.jpg" title="Scarlett Johansson Wallpapers. Pictures, photos, Scarlett Johansson ..." width="400" /></a><br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">Those things just scream '<strong>motorboat'</strong> don't they?</span></em><br />
<br />
<em></em><br />
Those puppies didn't get any screen time all covered up and squished into that tight black jumpsuit as they were.<br />
<br />
If I were Scar Jo's boobs I'd totally fire my agent.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Tony Stark/Iron Man:</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<img height="348" id="il_fi" src="http://i1-news.softpedia-static.com/images/news2/New-Avengers-Clip-Robert-Downey-Jr-Does-a-Head-Count-2.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="640" /><br />
<em> <span style="font-size: x-small;">I've got nothing to add to this hotness.</span></em><br />
<br />
I loved that he wore that Black Sabbath shirt throughout the entire movie.<br />
<br />
I would have loved it more if I got to see him sans shirt.<br />
<br />
He's arguably the hottest man on the planet right?<br />
<br />
Perhaps...<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Bruce Banner/The Hulk</em></strong></span><br />
<br />
<strong><em> <img height="425" id="il_fi" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJafyoBcHbXQrzCZxIQv-kewZoptxPBnqVOIkC0fFTjnOfWVtm6BTNdU7Ih7MZWAmNsb2oE1xZiZ4HOugbNIRsrTufyF-2pnD3A8WIMq-w1e56-mC9GjozaTbWlAoRYexWColmbFKmC6EH/s640/avengers+ruffalo.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="640" /></em></strong><br />
<em><strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">The frumpy wrinkled suit is now a huge turn on for me.</span></em><br />
<br />
The unassuming, soft spoken, scruffy faced, scientist geek turned giant green smashing machine stole the hotness show for me.<br />
<br />
And?<br />
<br />
He got naked.<br />
<br />
Naked is my favorite.<br />
<br />
I couldn't find a naked pic.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0aoO6XGfsFU/T85No0wCPgI/AAAAAAAAAjs/oZy46lqfBw8/s1600/mark_ruffalo-the_avengers-8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" fba="true" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0aoO6XGfsFU/T85No0wCPgI/AAAAAAAAAjs/oZy46lqfBw8/s400/mark_ruffalo-the_avengers-8.jpg" width="303" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Fully clothed and fuckhawt. </em></span></div>
<em><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></em><em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Fucking Hawkeye;</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> <img height="266" id="il_fi" src="http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/the-avengers-hawkeye-jeremy-renner-image.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="400" /></span><br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">He ain't got no alibi.</span></em><br />
<br />
He's not here for his hotness. 'Cause he's <strong>not hot</strong>.<br />
<br />
In case you haven't heard, some hearing impaired kid complained that there were no super heroes who wore hearing aids, so Marvel created <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57441863-10391704/marvel-team-creates-deaf-superhero-called-blue-ear-in-honor-of-boy/">'Blue Ear' </a>; a super hero who wears blue hearing aids.<br />
<br />
Why does this annoy the shit out of me?<br />
<br />
Because this character <a href="http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/h/hawkeye.htm">Hawkeye</a> is mostly deaf. Which is why his eyesight is so keen giving him crazy good archery skills. This detail is never mentioned in the movie. In fact, fucking <em>Hawkeye</em> appears to hear just fine.<br />
<br />
Seriously though. Shooting arrows at 747 sized flying alien ship thingies? <em>REALLY?</em><br />
<br />
<em>Ugh.</em><br />
<br />
Must. Cleanse. Palate.<br />
<br />
<img height="400" id="il_fi" src="http://podcasts.wordofthenerdonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/The-Avengers-Hulk-Mark-Ruffalo.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="600" /><br />
<em> Sandwich anyone?</em>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-70492418197254751192012-06-01T09:26:00.000-04:002012-06-01T09:26:22.742-04:00He's Always Been A Super Hero. Now He's Got New Powers. #SNRyan<br />
Getting used to life with the <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2012/05/with-better-use-of-my-oral-skills.html">FM system</a> around here.<br />
<br />
It's crazy. Crazy good.<br />
<br />
But strange.<br />
<br />
For the past almost nine years, I've been in a constant state of hyper awareness of every little sound around me, and around Owen.<br />
<br />
Because his hearing aids amplify EVERYTHING; cars driving by, a fan in the window, the dog barking, Bea's Leapster, the radio in the kitchen, more than one voice speaking. A<em>ny </em>noise in Owen's proximity interferes with his access to spoken language.<br />
<br />
When the FM is on, the wearer's voice cuts through all that noise and sends their words right into his head.<br />
<br />
I'm in the process of retraining myself. I no longer assume that he's missing what I'm saying. My routine of finding him, getting his attention, reminding him to look at my face, speaking and signing as simply as I can to get my point across, and then verifying that he's understood is less necessary.<br />
<br />
I'm in the kitchen and he is upstairs in his room. Supper is ready. <br />
<br />
"Owen? Wash your hands and come down for supper ok?" In a normal speaking voice.<br />
<br />
"I<em><strong> hear</strong></em> you!!! I'm coming!!!"<br />
<br />
Holy. Shit.<br />
<br />
We're at the craft store. He's looking at coloring books. Bea and I are a few aisles away. It's time to leave.<br />
<br />
"Owen? Pick a book. It's time to go." As if he were standing right next to me.<br />
<br />
"I <em><strong>hear</strong></em> you! Ok Mom!!"<br />
<br />
Seriously.<br />
<br />
So. Fucking. Cool.<br />
<br />
He's got superhuman hearing.<br />
<br />
And he's super happy about it.<br />
<br />
But he's still a Deaf kid at heart. Because when he's done. He's<em> done</em>.<br />
<br />
"Mom? Time to turn off FM. I'm all done hearing today."<br />
<br />
I fucking LOVE that he chooses to turn off. To go quiet.<br />
<br />
And a little jealous.<br />
<br />
How cool would <em>that</em> be? To turn down the volume on the world?<br />
<br />
Would be fucking awesome.<br />
<br />
Life can be too damn loud. It makes me cranky.<br />
<br />
This morning; TV on, Owen playing his DS, I'm attempting a conversation with Al, and Bea's little voice never stops. Do five year olds<em> ever</em> stop talking? For a second? No they don't.<br />
<br />
Ryan knows. And he bought me a present.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pCmSRfSTZmc/T8i_tLgA94I/AAAAAAAAAjg/MVdShQ6sTq8/s1600/ryantactilesign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" rba="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pCmSRfSTZmc/T8i_tLgA94I/AAAAAAAAAjg/MVdShQ6sTq8/s640/ryantactilesign.jpg" width="616" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Good luck getting anything accomplished today ladies, what with thoughts of Ryan practicing tactile sign on you.<br />
<br />
*swoon*<br />
<br />
*thud*<br />
<br />
Check out <a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/">Sunday</a> and the gang and see what else Ryan is up to.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-66064728004828391852012-05-25T10:46:00.000-04:002012-05-25T10:46:03.144-04:00With Better Use Of My Oral Skills #SNRyan<br />
<br />
Even with his hearing aids, Owen misses most conversations that occur around him.<br />
<br />
For example:<br />
<br />
Chatting at the dinner table? He tunes out until he picks up an interesting snippet and then demands to be filled in on what he'd missed. Which I then give to him in a mish mash of words and sign in fucked up semi ASL syntax.<br />
<br />
Talk in the car? We're not allowed to speak in the car, 'cause he can't hear us. We all just put up with the music played LOUDLY enough for him to hear it. Thank goodness he has good taste. His current favorite is Adele.<br />
<br />
Sitting around the living room? The TV is LOUD, and he's struggling to listen while reading the captions. If anyone dares speak, he tells them to stop. Or if he is curious, will turn the TV off and wait to be caught up on what he missed.<br />
<br />
It can be exhausting keeping him in the loop.<br />
<br />
And also? His English SUCKS.<br />
<br />
Without the luxury of listening in on everyday conversations around him, he's not learned enough English. He speaks in a funky English/ASL hodgepodge which his speech therapist brought to me as a serious concern.<br />
<br />
What could possibly give him more access to spoken language?<br />
<br />
A personal<a href="http://www.phonak.com/com/b2c/en/products/fm.html"> FM system</a>.<br />
<br />
To the tune of thousands of dollars. Which I don't have.<br />
<br />
So I started making calls to get help paying for it.<br />
<br />
And before I was forced to use my <em>other </em>mad oral skills, the unthinkable happened; A mysterious benefactor offered to purchase the system.<br />
<br />
Owen's hearing aid provider was shocked and elated for us. And a little freaked out as Owen is a special case for her. She doesn't treat children. Only old people. She took Owen on as a favor to his audiologist.<br />
<br />
She took her time learning about different systems. Attended a hearing aid convention and met with Phonak.<br />
<br />
And yesterday we got it.<br />
<br />
Apologies for lack of video evidence, but the look on Owen's face when Dr. Julie put on the transmitter, left the room and spoke to Owen?<br />
<br />
He turned bright red and his face split into a painfully huge smile.<br />
<br />
Continued goofy grinning as we drove home listening to his girl sing to him like he'd never heard before.<br />
<br />
This morning he asked Bea to wear it. We figured out how to attach it to the iPod, and his DS, and the TV.<br />
<br />
He asked if the dog could wear it.<br />
<br />
Talking to Bea in the kitchen this morning, Owen came running in from the playroom asking when we were going to the playground. 'Cause he'd heard us.<br />
<br />
So from now on, I'm going to look like this:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7mcTHhgljwA/T7-XYgkawPI/AAAAAAAAAjI/lVyTxBOu4BM/s1600/3b2082dca67511e1a9f71231382044a1_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" qba="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7mcTHhgljwA/T7-XYgkawPI/AAAAAAAAAjI/lVyTxBOu4BM/s400/3b2082dca67511e1a9f71231382044a1_7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Sexy eh?<br />
<br />
Well Ryan thinks it is:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OwuyBXVhFnE/T7-Z5BGt1ZI/AAAAAAAAAjU/d-lsKgFyhkY/s1600/snryan16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="436" qba="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OwuyBXVhFnE/T7-Z5BGt1ZI/AAAAAAAAAjU/d-lsKgFyhkY/s640/snryan16.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Joining <a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/">Sunday</a> and the gang once again!!! Go see what else our boyfriend is up to.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-2900039671947376052012-04-24T10:26:00.001-04:002012-04-27T09:29:16.357-04:00Nope. Not Sorry.<br />
<br />
A month or so ago, I'd brought the kids to an indoor pool. I was waiting outside the stalls in the changing room as the kids got dressed when a girl, 12 years old or so, walked up to me and grabbed my hand.<br />
<br />
A nanosecond was all it took to see the specialness of this girl.<br />
<br />
She held my hand in one of hers and waved in my face with the other. And smiled.<br />
<br />
I signed/said 'Hello'. Guessing that she wasn't verbal and thinking my non verbal communication skills couldn't hurt.<br />
<br />
She held on and smiled.<br />
<br />
I complimented her on her pretty flowered bathing suit.<br />
<br />
She pumped my hand a few times and continued her smiling.<br />
<br />
Her mother appeared after 30 seconds of this. I signed/said to the girl that it was nice to meet her. She smiled back.<br />
<br />
Her mother hung her head;<br />
<br />
"I'm<em> sorry</em>."<br />
<br />
"Oh<em> god</em> no. Have fun swimming!"<br />
<br />
I really wanted to chase after the woman. And hug her. And beg her to never apologize again for her sweet girl who just wanted to smile and say hi.<br />
<br />
This past Spring break, I thought about this woman a few times. <br />
<br />
Because I'm<em> not</em> sorry.<br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Hey Mommies and Kids sitting behind us at the kiddie concert at the Library;</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
Yes, I was aware that the front row is usually reserved for the smallest children. But Owen can't hear very well. So being in the front, where he can <em>see</em> the musicians is where he had the best chance of enjoying the show.<br />
<br />
I'm not sorry if we were distracting.<br />
<br />
When the drums and guitar started up, Owen's face lit up. He does love music. But when the fedora wearing sideburned cutie started singing, Owen's face fell, and my eyes filled up.<br />
<br />
The acoustics in the place were shit. The lyrics lost to Owen.<br />
<br />
So instead of letting him give up, I offered to interpret for him. He shook his head <em>no</em>. So I started to interpret anyway. And he let me. And watched intently as I struggled to hear the words and put them on my hands.<br />
<br />
Right in the front of the room.<br />
<br />
I'm not sorry if we obstructed your view of the band.<br />
<br />
I'm not sorry at all if you had to answer a squillion questions from your kids.<br />
<br />
Not sorry even a little bit.<br />
<br />
<em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Hey people sitting behind us at the movie on Sunday;</span></strong></em><br />
<br />
Owen doesn't get to see his school friends outside of school very often. So we were all thrilled when his friend Jay joined us to see <a href="http://disney.go.com/disneynature/chimpanzee/#/movies/chimpanzee/tickets">'Chimpanzee' </a>on Sunday.<br />
<br />
I didn't know it was Jay's first time in a movie theater. Even<em> I</em> was surprised when the movie started up and Jay yelled and covered his ears.<br />
<br />
I can't imagine what that loudness sounded like through his cochlear implants.<br />
<br />
I'm not sorry that Jay spoke loudly and signed largely through the<em> entire</em> movie.<br />
<br />
He couldn't hear the narrator well enough to follow the story, so relied on me to fill him in.<br />
<br />
I'm not sorry if you missed some of the action because our arms and hands were all over the place.<br />
<br />
I'm not a wee bit sorry if we had a negative impact on your movie experience.<br />
<br />
Jay is going to join us for the highly anticipated<a href="http://marvel.com/avengers_movie/?deeplink=tickets"> 'Avengers</a>' movie in May.<br />
<br />
I'm already brushing up on my Superhero signs.<br />
<br />
And I'm already<em> not</em> sorry for being in your fucking way.tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-65583432600920493192012-04-13T08:33:00.001-04:002012-04-13T09:56:41.780-04:00Gay Best Friend Special Needs Ryan<br />
This morning, Owen and I are headed into Children's hospital for a Cardiology check up. His <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/what.html">medical history</a> demands a periodical EKG and Echo cardiogram. <br />
<br />
So. Off we go.<br />
<br />
We love going there. For me, it is going back to our first home as a family. We'll visit the ICU in hopes some of the nurses who cared for him are still there. We'll check in with the floor where he spent his last six weeks. <br />
<br />
I'll buy him a treat in the gift shop. We'll have lunch in the cafeteria.<br />
<br />
I'll think back to the 101 days we spent there after he was born.<br />
<br />
Al had gone to work after two weeks, needing to feel useful in a helpless situation.<br />
<br />
So, aside from the odd visitor, I sat all day every day; alone.<br />
<br />
Crossword puzzle books piled up around me. Skanky magazines too. I chatted with the nurses. And other parents sometimes. <br />
<br />
I looked forward to meal times. And pumping breast milk. Anything to fill the hours.<br />
<br />
You know what I<em> really</em> wanted during those long lonely days? What I pined away for?<br />
<br />
Yup.<br />
<br />
A gay best friend.<br />
<br />
Somebody to jab with my elbow as a hot young surgeon walked by.<br />
<br />
Somebody to snicker with about the trailor trash parents.<br />
<br />
Somebody with whom to snark about the bitchy receptionist.<br />
<br />
Somebody to make fun of me while I attached my pathetic boobies to the ridiculous industrial strength pumping contraption.<br />
<br />
Thank goodness Ryan is free tomorrow. And is such a fine actor.<br />
<br />
He's agreed to play the role of Gay Statler to my Waldorf.<br />
<br />
We're going to have so much fun.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--yecG_r5yT4/T4d9pTNrlqI/AAAAAAAAAig/s7o39O5G2H4/s1600/ryan-gosling-fitness-routine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" qda="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--yecG_r5yT4/T4d9pTNrlqI/AAAAAAAAAig/s7o39O5G2H4/s640/ryan-gosling-fitness-routine.jpg" width="456" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I cheated this week and didn't use<a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/"> Sunday's</a> Ryan photo. When I saw this one it just screamed gay Ryan.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Go see what the rest of the gang is doing with Ryan.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img height="320" src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-21617874337644124012012-04-11T10:38:00.001-04:002012-04-11T10:38:52.580-04:00D-Bag Rag.Within any group of people, I always assume that I'm the biggest jerk.<br />
<br />
So it surprised me a couple years ago, when Owen's friends' Mommies said they were skipping classmate Jay's birthday party because his mother is so hard to take.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2009/05/unfit.html">She really is.</a> <br />
<br />
But it isn't Jay's fault. So for the past two years, Owen has been the ONLY kid at Jay's party. <em> The only one.</em><br />
<br />
This past weekend was Jay's party. <br />
<br />
And I managed to <em>not</em> tell Jay's mother off.<br />
<br />
I told his grandmother off instead. <br />
<br />
About so many things. Like their school using 'Too much sign language'. Seriously. She's angry about this. I did ask her if she was aware of the educational model which the school follows. She was not.<br />
<br />
Also making her angry is Jay's speech. Which<em> I</em> think is fantastic for a kid who was denied any form of communication until he was THREE years old. <br />
<br />
There was more. A lot more. I sort of lost it on her.<br />
<br />
But. In my defense, I'm fairly certain she is too stupid to realize she was being told off.<br />
<br />
Because after I finished with her?<br />
<br />
She had me interpret for Jay.<br />
<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
So. I refer to Owen as <em>Deaf Kid</em> all the time. And his friends are the 'Pack of Deaf kids'.<br />
<br />
'Cause that's what they are.<br />
<br />
And people think I'm a jerk;<br />
<br />
"Awwwww, come on. That's not<em> nice</em>."<br />
<br />
Which just cracks me up.<br />
<br />
A couple weeks ago, Owen was home sick. I emailed his Deaf teacher. She emailed back;<br />
<br />
"There are eight Deaf kids out with the same thing!"<br />
<br />
I love jerks.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Friend Sally gave Bea a bag of shoes that her daughter Mya had outgrown.<br />
<br />
Bea's favorite pair are sweet strappy pink sandals which she was wearing the other day when Sally picked her up for a play date.<br />
<br />
Mya threw a little fit about the sandals, whining and crying about wanting them back and it's no fair and so on...<br />
<br />
Sally; "Mya, please stop. They don't fit you any more. And you don't want to make Bea feel bad do you?"<br />
<br />
Bea; "<em>I </em>don't feel bad."<br />
<br />
Ha.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
I finally caved.<br />
<br />
After two months of watching Al fondle his <em>own</em> nightly, I caved. <br />
<br />
And got myself an iPhone. Of course I fucking love the thing.<br />
<br />
Though I do miss those cute little Blackberry buttons. <br />
<br />
One teensy complaint; I wasn't allowed to simply grab a song from my iTunes and make it my ring tone. <br />
<br />
And I'm quite attached to my ring tone.<br />
<br />
So my first order of business was finding an app that would give me back my ring tone.<br />
<br />
'Cause it's the best ring tone ever:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q1FDvQ_J1Hs" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<em>Right?</em><br />
<br />
Right.tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-83830911318822513572012-04-07T09:56:00.000-04:002012-04-07T09:56:45.344-04:00Deaf Kid Party Re-cap and Special Needs RyanSo. I was in for quite the surprise last week when I met with the Deaf kid mommies.<br />
<br />
I was not prepared for a group of snarky, foul mouthed bitches, who cannot imagine depriving their Deaf kids ASL, and who LOVE Owen's school.<br />
<br />
Seriously. Was so much fucking fun. <br />
<br />
They needed very little guidance from me. They knew what their kids need and how to get it. They all expressed feeling very lucky that this school exists and that their kids get to attend.<br />
<br />
I was able to tell them one thing they didn't know; that the kids all go to weekly (and more often if needed) counseling with a Deaf mentor whose purpose is to teach the kids how to be Deaf in a Hearing world.<br />
<br />
I showed them this that Owen had brought home;<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-66RZcajEroA/T38km8egWbI/AAAAAAAAAho/Vv5qPWIDgjw/s1600/deafworld_0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" nda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-66RZcajEroA/T38km8egWbI/AAAAAAAAAho/Vv5qPWIDgjw/s400/deafworld_0002.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Which they loved. As do I.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Owen's birthday party was Saturday.<br />
<br />
It was madness, but pizza making, pinata bashing, cake eating, general merry making, all went off without a hitch.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="240" nda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0h0RAx-b91A/T4A1IrrppWI/AAAAAAAAAiA/attccbg1TWc/s320/pinata+0+00+20-20.jpg" width="320" /></div>
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pinata being smashed with Thor's Hammer. Of course.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rsPit_L4o-4/T4A29hcrAqI/AAAAAAAAAiI/N2HtfHRZr1E/s1600/Untitled+0+00+07-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" nda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rsPit_L4o-4/T4A29hcrAqI/AAAAAAAAAiI/N2HtfHRZr1E/s320/Untitled+0+00+07-01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">
Friend Katie signed 'Happy Birthday' song per my request. She's awesome.</div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pp2DhzK1cJk/T4A3MvPXIKI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/boOccS0yvf0/s1600/Untitled+0+00+24-09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" nda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pp2DhzK1cJk/T4A3MvPXIKI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/boOccS0yvf0/s320/Untitled+0+00+24-09.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wNofBaM8oEA/T38o8prCM-I/AAAAAAAAAhw/-oKe8E2LSSg/s1600/Untitled+0+00+11-11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" nda="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wNofBaM8oEA/T38o8prCM-I/AAAAAAAAAhw/-oKe8E2LSSg/s320/Untitled+0+00+11-11.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He's like the<em> least</em> expressive kid ever right?</div>
<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Deaf kids talking/signing around table while eating. <br />
<br />
<br />
Deaf kid Billy says/signs to Deaf kid Ricky;<br />
<br />
"What she say?"<br />
<br />
Deaf kid Ricky looks pissed, signs/says/snaps back;<br />
<br />
"I don't <em>know</em>! I'm <strong>Deaf!"</strong><br />
<br />
Billy's mom and I thought this was hysterical.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Apparently Bea felt out of place amongst all of Owen's Deaf friends.<br />
<br />
So, she grabbed a pair of Owen's old ear molds and popped them in her ears.<br />
<br />
And showed off her hearing aids to all the kids.<br />
<br />
And the next day, she wouldn't leave the house without her hearing aids.<br />
<br />
So damn cute.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Owen went through a phase of wanting pink and purple ear molds. With sparkles. I may have allowed it if Al hadn't threatened divorce.<br />
<br />
I know Ryan would still be fuckhawt, even if he were to sport some sparkly ear molds.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TJC6AEZI8S4/T4BF6C1kBoI/AAAAAAAAAiY/QCLxPaM_ONE/s1600/ryanbloody.bmp2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TJC6AEZI8S4/T4BF6C1kBoI/AAAAAAAAAiY/QCLxPaM_ONE/s1600/ryanbloody.bmp2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't manage to get this up yesterday. Go see what<a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/"> Sunday</a> and the gang did with Ryan.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-45798643065977393902012-03-31T11:05:00.000-04:002012-03-31T11:05:17.186-04:009<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vg5C3EJBRkA/T3ccjjeBquI/AAAAAAAAAhY/b3ToXD1RR24/s1600/grahambirthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dea="true" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vg5C3EJBRkA/T3ccjjeBquI/AAAAAAAAAhY/b3ToXD1RR24/s320/grahambirthday.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<div align="center">
Birthday.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IZL2u2wRgts/T3cczYSgYwI/AAAAAAAAAhg/45bkMVDifmY/s1600/IMG958210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dea="true" height="297" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IZL2u2wRgts/T3cczYSgYwI/AAAAAAAAAhg/45bkMVDifmY/s400/IMG958210.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center">
Today.</div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-91650578669932574802012-03-30T08:44:00.000-04:002012-03-31T11:00:51.804-04:00ASL Crusade With Special Needs Ryan Gosling.I killed this horse long ago, I know.<br />
<br />
<strong>Deaf kids need ASL</strong>.<br />
<br />
For some, that horse is alive and kicking.<br />
<br />
This morning, I'm at Owen's school, speaking to the Early Intervention group at the school director's request. This is a group of parents with Deaf kids under age three, who are still considering all the educational options for their children.<br />
<br />
I don't know where these parents stand, how much they know about Deaf culture and the Deaf community. <br />
<br />
I don't know how 'normal' they want their children to be. <br />
<br />
I <em>do</em> know that my job today is to sell them on ASL.<br />
<br />
A friend sent me this, which I've printed up and will give to the group;<br />
<br />
<br />
<em>I am an Oral success.</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>At around two and a half years old, I started talking.</em><em>I started to learn to read at four years old.</em><br />
<em>Today I can (if I so choose), order a hamburger at McDonald’s without having to repeat myself.</em><br />
<em>I can speak to family, friends, and strangers, and they can understand me without problems.</em><br />
<em>I can call my children to dinner from another room, or sing them a good night song.</em><br />
<em>I can lipread with fairly good accuracy, and in a one-to-one situation, I can usually handle myself well.</em><br />
<em>I came to think of myself as a “Hearing person that cannot hear.”</em><br />
<em>This, you call a success.</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>Despite my speech, I still cannot hear.</em><br />
<em>In a group conversation of two or more, I usually find myself lost within five minutes.</em><br />
<em>I’d rather be alone with a book than with non-signing people at dinner or at a big family gathering.</em><br />
<em>This, you call a success?</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>I am a mainstreaming success.</em><br />
<em>Without the help of an interpreter, note-taker, or any support services, I attended public schools and got good grades.</em><br />
<em>I progressed at grade level, and learned to read well beyond my age and grade level.</em><br />
<em>I eventually got a Ph.D. from a major Hearing university.</em><br />
<em>This, you call a success.</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>In the “mainstream,” I always felt alone.</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>For thirteen years, I could count the number of my “friends” on one hand, and still have fingers left over.</em><br />
<em>These friends were themselves the “misfits” and “outcasts” who could not gain friendships with the “in group.”</em><br />
<em>I was bullied, shunned, and quietly ignored by both the “cool kids” and the “not so cool” kids.</em><br />
<em>I was pushed to the brink of a mental breakdown. One day, I stabbed one of my “friends” with a pencil – not because he’d done something bad to me, but because it was what I really wanted to do to those “other kids.”</em><br />
<em>I got labeled “emotionally disturbed.”</em><br />
<em>This, you call a success?</em><br />
<em><br /></em><br />
<em>I am an ASL success.</em><br />
<em>I went to a school for the Deaf.</em><br />
<em>I learned to sign.</em><br />
<em>I was in school plays, on sports teams, and involved in student government.</em><br />
<em>Today, I teach Hearing students at a major Hearing university.</em><br />
<em>I own my own house and two cars.</em><br />
<em>I am married and have two children.</em><br />
<em>I cannot count the number of my friends on my fingers and toes, because I don’t have enough fingers and toes.</em><br />
<em>Some of my friends are Hearing; most are Deaf.</em><br />
<em>I no longer dread sitting at a table when I am surrounded by people who sign.</em><br />
<em>With ASL, I feel alone no longer.</em><br />
<em>This, you call a failure.</em><br />
<br />
<em><a href="http://deafecho.com/2012/03/i-am-a-success/">by Donald Grushkin</a></em><br />
<br />
I love that.<br />
<br />
Most, no, <em>almost ALL </em>of the Deaf people I've encountered online and in real life, who <em>WEREN'T</em> given ASL as children, consider it a mistake, and had to struggle to learn as teenagers or adults. <br />
<br />
<br />
I'm a little nerved up about doing this. Because I <em>do</em> feel so strongly about it, and I don't know if I'm going to face any strong feelings in the opposite direction. I don't deal with conflict very well.<br />
<br />
I'm probably going to fucking cry at some point.<br />
<br />
Which is where my dear friend Ryan comes in.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5TlGAZwNslI/T3UBJnf_ozI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/UndCOSCd54s/s1600/specialneedsryan8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dea="true" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5TlGAZwNslI/T3UBJnf_ozI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/UndCOSCd54s/s640/specialneedsryan8.jpg" width="524" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Oh Ryan. That is very sweet of you. But just so you know; the though of you <strong><em>nekkid</em></strong> will do precious little to calm me, or any female, down. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Oh fuck it. Let's go. You're coming with me.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
See what else Ryan is up to in the Special Needs community with <a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/">Sunday</a> and the gang.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-79357408434285371132012-03-28T13:51:00.001-04:002012-03-29T14:43:17.218-04:00I Wouldn't REALLY Kill A Puppy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So. I gave in and joined <a href="http://pinterest.com/tulpenelefanten/">Pinterest.</a> Just to see what all the fuss is about.<br />
<br />
How annoyed was I when I received the RULES and saw that they include NO NUDITY?<br />
<br />
Hipsters are no fun.<br />
<br />
But. I couldn't wait to pin this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pe1Y8z-IR2Q/T3H5PyJSiZI/AAAAAAAAAg4/HU2FYMLjBYs/s1600/211176669997300916_MKM8oLuY_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dea="true" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pe1Y8z-IR2Q/T3H5PyJSiZI/AAAAAAAAAg4/HU2FYMLjBYs/s400/211176669997300916_MKM8oLuY_b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>*******</strong><br />
<br />
Speaking of old ladies.<br />
<br />
My friend and co-worker loaned her Kindle to an eighty-something year old lady at work, because she wanted to read <em>The Hunger Games.</em><br />
<br />
Old lady had lost her page and when I went to help her find her place, I saw something curious on the home page list of books;<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey">'50 Shades of Grey'</a><br />
<br />
Which is absolute filth. Smut even. Like smutty smut. I know. I've read it.<br />
<br />
I gasped and texted friend immediately, wondering how I didn't know what a dirty dirty girl she is.<br />
<br />
She isn't.<br />
<br />
She didn't buy the book.<br />
<br />
The old lady did.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Speaking of dirty thoughts:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2K1Gd9oYWeY" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: silver;"></span><br />
I'd kill a puppy if I could be that banjo for 5 minutes.<br />
<br />
******* <br />
<br />
Speaking of killing things, <em>and</em> hotness:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.glamour.com/fashion/2012/03/jennifer-lawrence-glamour-magazine-april-2012-cover-shoot-gallery#slide=1"><img border="0" dea="true" height="491" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lB2a3LFrecQ/T3M2V55qZ8I/AAAAAAAAAhI/4xJac7a17DI/s640/0301-01-jennifer-lawrence-glamour-magazine-april-2012_li.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
She's silly hot.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
I'm waiting to see <em>The Hunger Games</em> until this Sunday. I don't do crowds, and there's a theater near here that serves food and <em>alcohol</em> while you enjoy the movie.<br />
<br />
And I have a pregnant sister to drive my drunk ass home.<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Speaking of silliness.<br />
<br />
While Owen was perusing the interwebs, he found the trailer for the new <a href="http://www.theamazingspiderman.com/">Spiderman </a>movie.<br />
<br />
And he commenced a little Owen-style freak out, involving plenty of self talk about the characters in the movie all being played by different actors.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzW2VGk9ENrUCTf3akpu3h6CPZu5qmo9HMYxLebr8pThkAXocL4JZ1RhNlgHWn8QETBk8AES2YVKBtY54PQHw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Look. <em>He</em> different. They all different ok? Don't get worried."<br />
<br />
I can't stand the cuteness with the asking himself questions and then answering them, and telling himself not to worry.<br />
<br />
Ack.<br />
<br />
After we put him to bed last night, we were treated to even more self talk;<br />
<br />
"Wednesday finish, Thursday finish, Friday finish, then it will be Saturday. Then I will be 9. Daddy take Bea to swim lesson finish. Come home and it will be my party. With my friends. I will show them my DS and they will give me Dr. Suess books."<br />
<br />
Seriously. I wrote that shit down.<br />
<br />
It really is his<a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/033103.html"> birthday</a> Saturday. And we're<em> really</em> having his party here. 10 kids, 6 of them Deaf. Decorating of aprons, making of pizzas, whacking of pinata.<br />
<br />
<em>Speaking </em>of needing to buy a case of wine...<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-51261443773855700272012-03-23T08:12:00.000-04:002012-03-23T08:12:23.783-04:00Special Needs *snarky* Ryan Gosling.I just love me some snarky Ryan:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fPqj2TiYJ8k/T2vB42c9GrI/AAAAAAAAAgw/kNR-AujrSAQ/s1600/specialneedsryan4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fPqj2TiYJ8k/T2vB42c9GrI/AAAAAAAAAgw/kNR-AujrSAQ/s640/specialneedsryan4.jpg" width="528" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Oh Ryan. You're so bad. You wouldn't <em>really</em> say that. Would you??</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
But. I understand. One can only answer that question <em>so many times</em> before one thinks things like this.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Visit Sunday and the gang for more Special Needs Ryan.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-20373101261637004382012-03-20T14:38:00.000-04:002012-03-20T21:03:10.147-04:00Hope.Less.<br />
As Owen's <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/033103.html">birthday</a> approaches, I prepare to indulge myself in the annual emotional clusterfuck that the day, and following weeks, always bring.<br />
<br />
I stumbled upon the Remebered prompt today while sitting in Panera killing Bea's preschool hours.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a border="0" href="http://writeonedge.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://writeonedge.com/wp-content/images/button.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
The prompt was <em>Hope</em>.<br />
<br />
Before I knew it?<br />
<br />
This happened.<br />
<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
His birth had rendered us <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/p/owen-born-on-march-31-2003.html">homeless</a>, jobless, <em>childless. </em>Helpless loved ones made valiant efforts at comfort;<br />
<br />
"He'll be OK." <br />
<br />
In a quiet corner of my mind, where I lay curled up and quivering I screamed back;<br />
<em>"NO! He most certainly will NOT be OK."</em><br />
<br />
I understood what was being offered. And refused to accept it. It was a lie.<br />
<br />
His surgeon, offered only <strong>truth;</strong><br />
<br />
Bleeding on the brain, seizures, kidney failure, heart failure, respiratory failure.<br />
<br />
He wouldn't be leaving the hospital. <em>That </em>was the truth I believed.<br />
<br />
I steeled myself. Turned to stone. Waited.<br />
<br />
Since the day he was born, I'd slept with the phone clutched in my fist. When it rang at 5am, I knew. It was time.<br />
<br />
A hug from my sister in law as we left for the hospital, <em>she</em> knew;<br />
<br />
"I'm so sorry."<br />
<br />
"Me too."<br />
<br />
Eerily calm on the half hour ride in. <span style="font-size: x-small;">Relief that it was going to be over soon.</span><br />
<br />
The ICU that had become our home had been transformed into a battle ground;<br />
<br />
Doctors and nurses and all manner of support staff buzzing around, turning our little cubicle into a makeshift OR.<br />
<br />
<em>Yes. We'll take one last look at him.</em><br />
<br />
Al sitting on my left as the surgeon came into the conference room and sat facing us;<br />
<br />
"He's going where no baby has gone before." <em>A second round of ECMO is rarely attempted, rarely survived.</em><br />
<br />
"The transplant team is waiting by the phone." <em>Should Owen need new lungs</em>.<br />
<br />
"I've never saved a CDH baby with a lung transplant." <em>These babies don't live long enough to receive them.</em><br />
<br />
"No matter what happens, we are learning things from your son that will help other CDH babies."<br />
<br />
Specific instructions were given when the expected <em>did</em> happen. <br />
<br />
Because if out of the ruins of our baby, some piece could be salvaged to live on in another child?<br />
<br />
That was <em>my</em> only hope for survival.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-24159622599218275822012-03-16T09:00:00.000-04:002012-03-16T09:00:04.035-04:00Special Needs Ryan Gosling #3<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/">Sunday</a> and Friends are at it again. It's Special Needs Ryan time.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TxUYdZpcl8Q/T2M3_10RHEI/AAAAAAAAAgo/FjZEMYaUi-o/s1600/specialneedsryanweek3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TxUYdZpcl8Q/T2M3_10RHEI/AAAAAAAAAgo/FjZEMYaUi-o/s640/specialneedsryanweek3.jpg" width="526" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Poor Ryan.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Do pop over to<a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/"> Sunday's</a> place and check out more of our hot friend.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-17017066209758095182012-03-13T21:51:00.001-04:002012-03-14T12:57:02.319-04:00Kindergarten Registration + Wine.Somehow, I have managed to keep Bea alive long enough to register her for Kindergarten.<br />
<br />
The horror.<br />
<br />
I actually managed to gather up the appropriate materials, and arrive at the school during the allotted registration time.<br />
<br />
Apparently, a bank statement, telephone bill, and electric bill are not enough to prove residency. I was rightfully scolded and will bring yet<em> another</em> form of proof that I live a mile from the school this week.<br />
<br />
I don't know why I was surprised, <em>and by surprised I mean annoyed</em>, by the various questionnaires I had to fill out in regards to Bea, her development, health, and social prowess.<br />
<br />
<em>How<strong> badly</strong> did I want to answer like so:</em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">At what age did your child sit without support?</span></strong><br />
<br />
You expect me to remember that shit? Fuck. I had me a normal baby with no tubes, no scars, no fancy diagnoses, and ears that <em>worked</em>. You think I gave a shit when she could <em>sit </em>by herself? 'Cause I didn't.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">At what age did your child use single words with meaning?</span></strong><br />
<br />
She was <em>SIGNING</em> at 9 months old. <br />
<br />
Suck it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>At what age did your child walk without help?</strong></span><br />
<br />
OK fine. She was eighteen months old. She didn't freaking <em>crawl</em> 'til she was a year old. We're a lazy bunch I tell you. But I totally lied to her pediatrician and had her meeting all those stupid milestones exactly on time, so on <em>paper</em> she's perfectly normal. <br />
<br />
We're all about<em> normal</em> up in here.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Has your child had tantrums? If yes, how do you manage your child on these occasions?</span></strong><br />
<br />
Oh. I'm sorry. I was under the impression that you'd<em> encountered</em> a human child before. <br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Have there been any significant or upsetting events in your child's life?</span></strong><br />
<br />
I'm her mother.<br />
<br />
Her brother is Owen.<br />
<br />
That is all.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">What are your expectations for your child's kindergarten experience?</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Not shelling out a car payment every month for the hoity toity <a href="http://www.tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2010/09/this-just-in-three-year-old-cries-at.html">hippie preschool</a> that charges full price even if school is only held twice in a month.<br />
<br />
Not driving that half hour to and from said preschool three days a week.<br />
<br />
Seeing that glorious yellow bus arrive at the end of the road to take my beloved child away from me for three wonderful hours, five lovely days a week.<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">What would be your child's<em> ideal</em> learning environment?</span></strong><br />
<br />
Oooh!! We get to <em><strong>choose?</strong></em> Fun!!!<br />
<br />
Alrighty then. <br />
<br />
She wants a fairy princess mermaid teacher who sets all lessons to music played by dancing unicorns.<br />
<br />
She would like daily glitter sprinkle parties and a handful of lollipops for every task she completes.<br />
<br />
Recess should be held in the enchanted forest where she will become bestest friends with all the woodland creatures and certainly be allowed to bring home a baby deer to love and keep forever and ever.<br />
<br />
She's gonna fucking<em><strong> LOVE</strong></em> kindergarten!!<br />
<br />
<br />tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-46487645955524507302012-03-09T13:22:00.000-05:002012-03-09T13:32:23.077-05:00Special Needs Ryan Gosling #2Joining <a href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/2012/03/special-needs-ryan-gosling-week-5.html#idc-container">Sunday</a> and Friends, and most importantly <em><strong>Ryan </strong></em>again this week. <br />
<br />
There seems to be no end to his kindness, empathy, and most importantly, his hotness.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D5wGOjps_5Q/T1pKHV3QaNI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/UVbSzOulsLY/s1600/specialneedsryan2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D5wGOjps_5Q/T1pKHV3QaNI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/UVbSzOulsLY/s640/specialneedsryan2.jpg" width="640" yda="true" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>Click here to read about <a href="http://tulpensbadwords.blogspot.com/2010/06/fuck-you-friday-ghost-of-fuck-you-past.html">The Time I Called A Hearing Kid A VERY Bad Word.</a></strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<strong>And then go visit more Special Needs Ryan. He'd really appreciate it.</strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a border="0" href="http://www.extremeparenthood.com/search/label/Ryan%20Gosling" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w207/sunday75/SNRGbutton.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
</div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-787631511810219240.post-48444888217959067852012-03-06T20:06:00.000-05:002012-03-09T19:09:57.326-05:00Late To The Party<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
Saturday morning, <em><strong>early</strong></em>, before I'd been sufficiently caffeinated, Owen runs up to me and taps me on the shoulder;<br />
<br />
"Mom!!!"<br />
<br />
"flmflfmlemlemlgmmmlg"<br />
<br />
<strong><em>"Mom!!"</em></strong><br />
<br />
He clearly has some important revelation to bestow upon me.<br />
<br />
"Ummmm....<em> yeah?"</em><br />
<br />
"When I will take my hearing aids off? I will be <em><strong>Deaf!!"</strong></em><br />
<br />
"Newsflash!!"<br />
<br />
"Huh?"<br />
<br />
<strong><em>*******</em></strong><br />
<br />
Saturday morning, post caffeination, I take the kids to swim lesson. We're early, and there's an unfamiliar family waiting.<br />
<br />
Instructor Lisa arrives and with a gasp and hand over her mouth. I know. She'd double booked the time slot.<br />
<br />
Her co-worker Ginny (whom we see every week and <em>always</em> comments on how cute Bea and Owen are; which Al insists is code for "Your husband is hot") happens to have a cancellation at that exact moment. And because we're just so easy going, agree to give Ginny a try.<br />
<br />
How did we <em>not</em> know, in the six months we've been going to the pool, that Ginny <em><strong>knows sign language?</strong></em><br />
<br />
She's awesome and the kids have a great lesson. But signing skills aside, Owen is near tears as we leave;<br />
<br />
"Can we have Lisa next week?"<br />
<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
So, you know that Owen was tube fed for seven years right? Well, you do now.<br />
<br />
After years of not eating any food at all, then being coaxed into tolerating stuff in his mouth, and add to it the fact that his mother is one of the pickiest eaters on the planet, one would expect him to have some aversions when it comes to food.<br />
<br />
One would be wrong.<br />
<br />
He'll try anything.<br />
<br />
This past weekend? After a trip to Trader Joe's? He tried and liked, no, <em><strong>loved</strong></em>;<br />
<br />
Mushroom Ravioli.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> *blech*</span> Three plate's full.<br />
Lobster Ravioli. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">*gag*</span> Ate the whole bag.<br />
Seafood Stew.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> *barf*</span> Wouldn't share with Daddy.<br />
Shrimp Corn Dogs. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">*really?*</span> Ate all six.<br />
<br />
He also loves Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus, Broccoli, Green Beans, Cauliflower...it's not worth going on.<br />
<br />
The kid will eat anything.<br />
<br />
So. When <em>this</em> came home from school yesterday? I couldn't think of a better formerly tube fed Deaf kid profession:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HxEkGskbVBM/T1aQB1phYFI/AAAAAAAAAfY/5TvOvzswXbk/s1600/IMG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HxEkGskbVBM/T1aQB1phYFI/AAAAAAAAAfY/5TvOvzswXbk/s640/IMG.jpg" uda="true" width="497" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
"I gonna be a seafood chef."<br />
<br />
*******<br />
<br />
I'm so pissed at how late I arrived to this party, as the second season is only available online until tomorrow, and I still have two episodes of the <em>first </em>season to go: <em>(ETA! Second Season available on iTunes! $2.99 a pop! A <strong>deal</strong> I tell you!!)</em><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/"><img border="0" height="512" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GYXY0cpaTTE/T1ar3k2Q1BI/AAAAAAAAAfg/RpQvtQM1gK0/s640/DowntonAbbey.jpg" uda="true" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Last night at work, I questioned a British resident of mine; Has she seen the show? Does she like it?<br />
<br />
Does she <em>ever</em>. We proceeded to have the girliest chat regarding the hotness of Matthew:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B8WNeMmp8WY/T1atZFBRizI/AAAAAAAAAfo/iD6TPXpXpFk/s1600/matthew.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B8WNeMmp8WY/T1atZFBRizI/AAAAAAAAAfo/iD6TPXpXpFk/s400/matthew.jpg" uda="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Quite hot indeed.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The evilness and hotness, <span style="font-size: xx-small;">and gayness!</span> of Thomas:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w-TvLWlPxUY/T1auQra6CPI/AAAAAAAAAfw/pskRtAcdDak/s1600/char_lg_thomas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w-TvLWlPxUY/T1auQra6CPI/AAAAAAAAAfw/pskRtAcdDak/s400/char_lg_thomas.jpg" uda="true" width="267" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Indeed with the hotness and the gayness.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>*sigh*</em></span> Lord Grantham</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-06W-odiNMFo/T1aumTsxfMI/AAAAAAAAAf4/v3sm6EFQOjg/s1600/sexybeast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-06W-odiNMFo/T1aumTsxfMI/AAAAAAAAAf4/v3sm6EFQOjg/s400/sexybeast.jpg" uda="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I daresay quite the sexy beast.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As Al is working <em>late</em>, I'm off to take advantage of the alone time and <strike>drink lots of wine whilst I</strike> gobble up those last two episodes.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fdBWyLVezng/T1ds50BrOlI/AAAAAAAAAgA/xnvznWWYE7I/s1600/article-0-0DE5482C00000578-348_306x423.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fdBWyLVezng/T1ds50BrOlI/AAAAAAAAAgA/xnvznWWYE7I/s320/article-0-0DE5482C00000578-348_306x423.jpg" width="231" yda="true" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>ETA: Bates! Cannot believe I left out this adorable nugget</em>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>tulpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09244442556884959190noreply@blogger.com19