Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ridickulous (NSFW)

Owen likes to dance.  To LOUD music.  With props.

This past weekend, he was getting down to All The Single Ladies with his little buddy Ernie in the living room while Bea and I played in the playroom.

When I checked on him, I found him stripped down to his underoos, which were stuffed with both of his socks.  In the right place.

Ernie was...

Well...

We haven't heard from Ernie since the Special Victims Unit took him away.

*******

While trying to locate the accidental penis website to show Al,



I  *ahem* came across these guys:

Large Penis Support Group

Really?

Really.

Made me think I need to start a group of my own:

Women with perfect breasts, no stretch marks, and no cellulite support group.

*******

I wonder if that support group has a thread discussing this episode.

No. I'm not checking to see if they do.



*******

Remember this?




*******

This morning, before being properly caffeinated, I was treated to this conversation;

Bea: "Mom? Is 'ridiculous' a good word or a bad word?"

Me: "Ridiculous is a perfectly silly word. Say it all you want."

Bea: "Owen! Did you hear that? We can say ridiculous!"

Owen: "Huh?"

Bea: "Ridiculous! Say it!"

Owen: "Wee- What? I can't say it."

Bea: "Re-"

Owen: "We-"

Bea: "No. RE-"

Owen: "We-"

Bea: "Ugh. Now 'Dick'."

Owen: "Dick."

Bea: "Yes! You said 'Dick!' Mom! Did you hear that? Owen can say Dick!!"

Me: *snicker*

Bea: "Now. say 'YOU'."

Owen: "You."

Bea: "Yes! Now 'LUSS'."

Owen: "List."

Bea: "Re-dick-you-luss. Ridiculous!"

Owen: "Wedickyoulist!"

*******

39 comments:

  1. I really love Owen and Bea! Thanks for sharing this!

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  2. I LOVE the conversation b/c Owen and Bea.

    Freaking awesome.

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  3. Your accidental penises reminded me of the uncomfortably sexual company logos.

    http://www.someecards.com/2011/04/26/uncomfortably-sexual-company-logos

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  4. I think that boy just graduated to boxers.
    And I always emphasize the "dick" in ridiculous. What's wrong with that?

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  5. Yaw! HA! Totally wedickyoulist. So Owen stuffs. Just make sure he's not pulling a Derek Smalls next time you go through airport security.

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  6. That conversation--priceless.

    And what's membership dues for your club? I believe aside from my perfect breasts (that are at my knees) my backside (located at my ankles) I would fit right in...

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  7. You need to look for John Hiatt's song about a failed relationship... "Since His Penis Came Between Us..."

    Ha!

    ~shoes~

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  8. As President of the LPSG, I thank you for bringing attention to our cause on your lovely blog.

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  9. You should change the title to the post. Wedickyoulist is my new favorite.

    Big Daddy Autism comment - wrongwrongwrong. Hysterical.

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  10. I think Hummers (or any big trucks) are a dead giveaway to a small penis.

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  11. The choice of songs to strip down to and stuff was just priceless. It was Weedickyoulist! I love Bea's delight in Owen being able to say Dick. Your kids are beyond awesome!! As for the support group, why do I have a feeling it is really a support group for men with wee willy winkies trying desperately to overcompensate? Because a man complaining about a large penis is like a woman complaining about being too thing?

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  12. I think you need to write a children's book called "Owen and Bea and the Ridickuluss Day."

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  13. Oh, and this post plunged me back into my early teenhoood and that song that began with what I thought was this line: "it's my dick, you know...never believe it's not so. It's my dick, you knowwwwwww." Do you know what I'm talking about?

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  14. Bwahahahahaha.

    Are you a South Park fan? One of their most recent episodes involved a group of people with little willies taking over Federal Express locations because they were tired of having small dicks. Stan's dad actually had a whole formula to show why his dick wasn't small, but perfectly average. The little willy club gave up their reign of terror when the national average was changed.

    The whole incident between the kids has me chuckling. I totally would have been pulling what Bea did. Except, well, I would have found some way around saying "he said dick."

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  15. It would be perfectly nice to have a penis. Then I could avoid the gross bathroom at work. And stuff to "ATSL". He, he, he.

    The whole conversations begs the questions, why did Bea think it was a bad word? What does she think it means?

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  16. I was lamenting the fact that I can't open any of those links b/c I have kids in the room when I got to Bea and Owen's conversation. AWESOME. Now the kids want to know why I'm laughing randomly in front of the computer. Excellent!

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  17. I clicked the link. Oh, yes I did. *face palm*

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  18. Laughing here...our stupid small town has "ridikulus" days, spelled just like that.

    And I crack up everytime they hang that badass banner across our main street light.

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  19. first, the large penis group? a message board? I'm afraid to click thru anything for fear I'll be huge-dick-poked thru the screen. Owie.

    I can not wait to meet your kids one day. Pure entertainment.

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  20. My son just says dickless...I wish he'd refer that to my husband...kidding...I'm not mean like that...maybe...

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  21. There is nothing like a blog post filled with funny penis stories!! :)

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  22. Those poor, poor big dick men, all stretched out with no where to go.

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  23. Good, Lord, there's a lot about boys I don't know about yet. But I'll have the pleasure of finding out over the next few years, I'm sure. Oh, maybe I shouldn't use the word Pleasure here.

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  24. Aha! A whole post on one of my favourite subjects. Thank you for that. Nicely grouped and perfectly ordered. Most pleasing.

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  25. Hahahaha! That's just weedickyoulist that there is a LPSG!!! lol

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  26. I'm new to your blog and just want to say that I'm having a blast reading it. I can relate to your job stories as my mom just spent 2 years in assisted living- oh, the stories. Owen's signing reminded me of the time my daughter decided to teach herself sign language. I think she was 8. I was all proud of her until I realized she learned it so she could " talk " to me during church. I looked like the negligent mother that didn't bother to learn how to communicate with her deaf child. Fun times!
    Thanks for sharing. I mean it.

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  27. Ah. You can never have too many penis euphemisms in a song.

    I think we women with perfect breasts, no stretch marks and no cellulite deserve a support group. It takes a lot of drugs to keep those illusions alive.

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  28. I was laughing through your post and then I read Big Daddy's comment and spit pretzels at my screen. I had no idea there was an accidental penis website, I learn something new every time I visit you.

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  29. so you are telling me that the dick talk starts pretty young!

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  30. There is an accidental penis website?! Well hell, I was going to go to bed after this but I have a feeling I am going to be online for at least another hour!

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  31. the accidental penis, perfect band name, it's inescapably wired into our culture, huh?

    loved that recent south park episode!

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  32. Love it. My boys are three and four and, while we don't have penis talk yet, we have lots of inappropriate touching. Good times all around.

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  33. Ok, I'm just getting here to comment but I've read this post about 6 times and 9 of them to other people. Way too many pantyliners were injured in the review of this post. "Wedickyoulist"...HAHAHAAA! Yes. Indeed, Owen. Awesome.

    Love ya, Tulps.

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  34. I knew you'd make me laugh on my return.

    We dick.
    You list.

    I wish I wrote more things down when mine were little.

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  35. wedickyoulist. OMG! your kids crack me the hell up.

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  36. I love your blog! I love that you say it how it is! Your kids are so stinkin cute.
    http://tosots.blogspot.com/

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  37. LOL! This is amazing. Laughing so hard at work everyone is looking at me.

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