Saturday, February 5, 2011

Maybe Iron Man Can Reinforce My Pity Deflector Shield

I didn't want to see Yogi Bear

But he practiced all week.  Deep breathing while my fingers counted to ten.  Not crying.  Sitting still.

And letting the doctor get the "dunk out" of his ears.  The quarterly ear wax removal that would not hurt, would not send rivulets of blood trickling down his cheek if Owen would just get over his fear of the big drawer of long pointy things, and allow the poor doctor to gently pull the wax out.

And he did.  He sat still.  A little whimper.  Barely a squirm.   But no tears.  No flailing.

The practice worked.  The Ativan slipped into his breakfast banana bread may have helped a little.

But he did it. 

Dr. W., so proud, telling the whole office what a great job he'd done, earning Owen a stuffed animal, and one for Bea too, as the receptionist was so touched that he'd asked for one for his little sister.

His Audiologist happened by, and mentioned scheduling a hearing test in the next few weeks or;  "How about right now?".

Owen loves the 'Hear It Game' and leads the way to the sound proof booth.

No change in his hearing.  He's still Deaf.

Remembering the deal we'd made, he bounds out of the office talking mostly to himself;

"Not cry right Sweetie!  Hold still and get the dunk out! Dunk out finish?  Go see movie! Go see movie right Mom?  Yogi Bear right?"

"Right.  Movie.  Go now."

We get to the theater way early. Purchase tickets, obtain headphones, and spend a half hour in the lobby looking at all the giant movie posters and displays, speculating on which would be funny, scary, for kids, not for kids.

A couple kids show up with their Daddy, and head into the theater.  Owen skips along right behind them into the darkness, clutching his bag of Reece's treasure. 

His seating of choice in the otherwise empty theater is directly behind these kids.  He doesn't try to interact with them, but, I know for him, the nearness to them is important.

As the seats fill up, those beside us and behind us are occupied with more kids, much to the delight of Owen who beams his big smile from face to face, as if it is his responsibility to welcome each child to this day's movie experience.

When the experience finally does start, I turn on the headphones, note the crappy staticy sound, and place them on Owen's head.  He promptly takes them off.

The kids behind us whisper questions as to why 'that kid' gets to wear headphones.

Owen watches the movie for a few minutes.  I watch Owen.

And I turn around several times as the kids behind us won't stop talking.  Their Daddy scolds them for kicking my seat, which was in fact annoying as Hell, but my death glares are aimed at their mouths, not their feet.

The sound system in this theater sucks.  Not loud enough for Owen.  Any sound interference is going to impact how much of the movie he hears.

He tries the headphones again.

He hands them back to me.

He signs; 'Home'.

I grab our stuff and lead him out of the theater.

I'm sad for him.  And am barely holding it together as I reach the counter and hand the headphones to the girl who had given them to me.

Her bottom lip pops out in sympathy as I tell her that he couldn't hear the movie, even with the headphones.  Owen is behind me, talking mostly to himself;

"Can't hear movie Sweetie?  No. Can't hear it. Go home now. Maybe watch movie at home?"

My pity deflector shield is rendered inactive as she apologizes profusely and refunds me for the tickets;  I soak that shit right up.

Texting Al as we head to car, that movie reward is a bust, hopefully there will be something good on TV.  Al is at the mall.  Al has a plan.

Owen is less bothered by movie fail than I am, but I reassure him that;

"Daddy at mall.  Get for you what Surprise."

We're home for only minutes before Daddy and surprise arrive:

Yogi Bear would be a terrible idea no matter what the circumstances.

Iron Man 2 blasting at maximum volume, Owen's face glowing inches from the screen?



  1. Quadruple ack. Give him a smoochie for me. So cute. xo

  2. I just bawled like a baby....I would have been SOOOOO hurt for him too! Sooo glad Daddy came to the rescue!

    Hug him for me too! I'm awful proud of him and his hard work for his reward!

  3. Ugh, he's so freaking cute. Such a good little guy to make it through the dunk cleaning and then to request a prize for his sister, too.

    I've never tried movies with the bird. I think it'd be too painful. For me.

    I must know- did he at least get to eat the reese's pieces?!

  4. Total WIN.

    I imagine for you, as well. I mean, RDJ or a computer animated talking bear? No contest.

  5. So freakin awesome. And we get to hear your voice! I've never heard that before. Me gusta.

  6. Isn't giving kiddos presents the best?

    YAY Owen!

  7. how awesome that you captured that much joy and excitement on video! so cool. what an amazing kid he is!

  8. WIN, indeed.
    Gorgeous video. He was so excited, it was beautiful to watch. Good on "Dad" for saving the day :D

  9. I heard that Yogi Bear was the worst movie ever. He definitely traded up. He seemed satisfied with the outcome anyway :)

  10. oh gosh how hilarious-totally worth the dunk removal.

    Bribes are great Abby had to get 2 shots at the Dr yesterday and the bribe for being good was lunch with daddy and a milk shake afterwards.

  11. OM..what a cutie! It's gut wrenching to hurt for your kids.My son had terrible asthma since he was 2. He couldnt play sports or be out in the snow. It's amazing how much easier kids adjust than parents sometimes.
    Youre a great mom!

  12. No change in his hearing. He's still Deaf.

    Love how you just put it out there.

  13. Is it OK if my eyes are filled with grateful tears right now because the blogger I love, Tulpen, is married to a hero?

    OK? Good.

    The depth of your emotion, that you feel, and can put into words so that I can feel them with you, are like the kinds of days I have, when I see other families just not realizing what a day in my life is like.

    There's no way I could have them feel that.

    I wonder if someone who doesn't have some point of reference for this in their lives, can even understand what it's like to see that IronMan II was the gift of all time??

  14. Owen really did pick the right parents! You guys are just awesome.

  15. Oh my word, Owen is the best. You already know my love and respect for you and your mad mothering skillz.

    Daddy? Well, I think that surprise deserves a few dirty sexual favors. Get going...

  16. Jake is totally jealous of Owen's Iron Man movie.

    And, yes. A total win for Dad.

  17. Totally crying here over his happiness and joy...and YOUR happiness at his joy over the new movie. Sorry he had to miss the movie but glad you didn't have to watch Yogi.

  18. Way, WAY cool. WTG Daddy Al!

  19. You know his total adorableness is COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT.
    And we love you for it.
    BTW just saw IronMan II last night ourselves and yes, when I saw that Adonis had put it in our netflix queue I did that joyful screaming running in my head.
    And I'm w/ Ash...Al needs some dirty rewards for his awesomeness.

  20. The TO took my kids to see Yogi Bear and he said it was horrible. Owen got a better deal with Iron Man 2. Love to hear his excited squeal. He's a doll.

  21. I'm full of tears

    This child is priceless.

    Perfect gift.

  22. Yogi Bear was 2 hours of sheer torture. Not one minute of relief. Daddy's surprise kicked Yogis fat ass back to Jelly Stone Park.

  23. He looks so excited just to see the package, got me a little excited!

    Also, since you mentioned the Yogi Bear movie? Here is a terrible joke.

    Person telling the joke: Hey You have a madda-yogi hanging from your shoe.

    Person with the madda-yogi hanging from shoe: Uhh, what's a madda yogi?

    Person telling joke: *in the bears voice* Uhh Nuthin' Boo-Boo

  24. Iron Man rocks! He's a fave around here and a sure fire way to cure the blues of Mr. SwearPants anytime we have a down day. Yogi Bear...SUCKED. It was so bad. Tell Owen he's lucky he got to miss it...YUCK!

  25. @possum....Indeed he did!

    that shit made me cry.
    that shit made my big ass husband cry when i read it to him.


  26. Way to go Owen for doing such a good job with the "dunk removal", for thinking to ask for a stuffed animal for Bea, and for taking the fail of Yogi Bear like a man (well, actually better than a man!). You definitely traded up from Yogi to Iron Man!! I love his squeals of delight at just the package, before he ever sees what the movie is! Way to go Daddy, tag teaming with Mommy, to save the day!! Also, huge win actually getting a theater to give you back the money for the tickets because of their shitty sound system!! Mega Win all around!

  27. I am so glad this story had a happy ending because my heart was breaking for you guys in that movie theater. Not out of pity but because we have been in the same seats and you conveyed every bit of it perfectly.

  28. God I just love the happiness that comes pouring out of children. He was thrilled TO PIECES before he even opened the bag to see what the surprise was! How sweet!
    (What happens to us to turn us into such hardened, jaded bastards? If only a DVD could elicit a quarter of that much joy...)

  29. Hooray for Dad! You two are amazing parents and advocates for that guy, you know? He's so lucky to have you. And his concern that Bea gets an animal too just proves you're doing a kick ass job.

  30. Damnit. I take a bloggy break, come back, and find you are still making me cry!

    You rock at motherhood.

  31. What an awesome dad. And mom. Doesn't it feel good when you're able to save the day?!

    Seriously, though, why aren't there more open captioned movies? It drives me nuts that in a theater with 21 movie screens, most of the time not even one is captioned.


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