Showing posts with label Ack.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ack.. Show all posts

Monday, November 26, 2012

Thankfully Reconnected



I've never taken the kids to our town's big deal Thanksgiving Parade.  If I'd gone as a child I have no memory of it.

And considering where we live?  This is shameful of me.

The kids have had their heads stuffed with all things Thanksgiving, with emphasis on the Pilgrims and the first ever Thanksgiving.  They feel proud and special to have this  history in their back yard.

So we went.



With a few thousand other folks.

We found a patch of grass on the hill there on the left, ate some quesadillas (just like the Pilgrims did), and waited for the parade to start.

I offered up Thanks that the children were sufficiently excited as to ward off impatient whining.

I Thanked myself for not inflicting great bodily harm on the douchebag sitting behind Owen who thought it would be funny to sneak up behind said Deaf kid and throw his hood on his head. Seriously. Some ass hole did that.  I sweetly schooled him on what NOT to do to a Deaf person, while his embarrassed wife and kids listened intently.

And I wasn't at all surprised when a man stopped as he walked past, pointed at Owen and asked me in sign;

*Deaf?*

*Yes.*

*Sign?*

*Yes.*

He turned to Owen and signed some more,

*How old?*,  *Your name?*, *What grade?*  and so on.

I hadn't noticed the child with him until the man was signing his goodbye and nice to meet you.

I'd assumed the man was Deaf until he called after the child and the child turned around;

And I clapped my hands so hard I thought I'd sprained my wrist.

I knew this kid.

Years ago, when Owen was in preschool, just a baby, a new boy came to the program.

Niklaus came from the Czech Republic.  He had no hearing, no speech, and knew only a few Czech signs.

This beautiful little Deaf person had thick curls of blond hair almost to his rear end and the most intense icy blue eyes.

He thrived in his new signing environment and was using ASL signs within a week. 

The staff were amazed at his progress and Owen would talk about his friend Nikki often.

When Kindergarten started, Owen came home sad and told me that Nikki wasn't at his school anymore. He'd asked his teacher and all we knew was that he'd gone to a different school.

And we never saw or heard from him again.

Until last Saturday, sitting on the green, rubbing my sore wrist;

"I know you!  You're Niklaus!"

The father looked baffled as I frantically signed to Owen that this was his long lost friend Nikki.

When the information clicked into place, Owen's face exploded into joy. He'd remembered.

And after a few minutes, Nikki did too.

We spent the rest of the day with Nikki and his Dad Bryan.

The kids ran around the green, Owen checking in with me often to ask when Nikki could come to our house to play. 

Bryan and I chatted comfortably; he lives right in town, Nikki is mainstreamed in the public school, but still knows and uses sign.  He loves Karate. And books.  And superheros.  He plays the cello.

He has a hard time connecting with other kids, and could use a friend.

As luck would have it, Owen is in a similar boat.

So yesterday, the afternoon sailed by as the boys played in Nikki's room while Bryan filled me in on his fantastic voyage from the Czech republic.  An unbelievable, heartbreaking, and triumphant story of survival. 

Not unlike Owen's own tale.

I'm usually Thankful for the basic stuff this time of year; food, shelter, clothing, kids and family.

But this year I'm Thankfully indulging in the spectacle of these two boys, neither of whom should even be alive,  whom the Universe saw fit to bring back together.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Losing Sleep.

We'd all woken up and gone about our morning business like it was a regular morning.  Al was halfway out the door;

"Wait!  It's Bea's Birthday!!"

The big party and present parade days behind us, we'd let the actual day almost slip our minds. 

With no dramatic rescue, no fascinating cast of characters, no edge of your seat life or death suspense, her first day is easy to forget, because it was so easy.

We drove fifteen minutes to the hospital.  An hour later she appeared.  And less than twenty four hours, we were all home.

And life with her was easy.  From her first night ever, she only bothered me once or twice to eat, only took ten minutes doing that before passing back out.

I never lost a night's sleep during Bea's babyhood.  Not one.

She slipped into our daily routines without a hiccup, without a complaint at being carted around to Owen's numerous appointments, happily allowing me to dump her with a sitter when needed. 

We flowed.  She goed.

And she too was surprised, when Al came back into the house Thursday morning to wish her a Happy Birthday.

"Today?  I'm FIVE today?  Yeah!!!"  Double. Fist. Pump.

Lucky girl will likely always enjoy her big day out of school as it falls during February vacation.  Again with the luck as I'd planned a night away with the kids at a hotel that promised all manner of cooped up kid distraction and entertainment.

We swam, played in the arcade, attended a mad scientist show, went out for pizza, and had a bonfire on the beach, during which she fell heavily asleep on my lap.

We snuggled in the big bed, while Owen watched a movie from his own big bed.

She pushed me.  I mean both arms out straight and a shove like she meant it.  I scooched over.  She flailed until she was sideways in the bed.

"Owen.  Ok if Mommy sleeps with you?"

"OK!!"  With a hearty pat on the mattress.

We snuggled. We watched Alice in Wonderland. The old one.  He read his book.  I read my book.

"I tired Mommy.  I going to sleep."

"Goodnight Sweetie."

"You have to sleep over there."

He's never let me sleep with him.  Not never.  Once, a few years ago in the hospital we shared a bed.  But that's it.  I've bragged about what a good and independent sleeper he is.

I realigned Bea in her bed and sneaked in beside her.

She kicked me. And shoved me. Right to the edge of the bed.  I fell out, walked to the other side and sneaked back in.

She found me, shimmied up so close, and put her head on my shoulder.  And gave me a knee to the kidney.

Finding myself at the edge once again, I walked around and slid in the other side of the bed.

At some point Owen got up, yelled at me for turning the light off, went pee, yelled at me for sending him back to wash his hands.

Bea kicked me out again.  And again.

I'd almost gone to sleep a couple times.  Almost.

It was almost light outside.  Almost.

Owen sits up;

"Is it morning?  Can we be awake now?"

Bea emerges from the blankets;

"Mommy?  Am I still five?"

"Yes.  And yes."

I definietly deserve such an easy kid.

And yes, I definitely deserved to finally lose a night's sleep.


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Four Year Old Gold

Four years old needs to learn some manners.

"Mom!  I need help!"

"You need help what?"

"I need help wiping!!"

"You need help wiping what?"

"My butt!"

"You need help wiping your butt what?"

"I need help wiping my butt because I pooped!"

There may or may not have been a day recently in which Bea refused to say please and literally chased me around the house yelling at me to wipe her ass.

Naked.

Chasing me around.

Naked.

Unwiped.

Ass.

*******

Eight years old should maybe be afraid of four years old.

Al and kids sitting around living room the other night.

Bea playing with Olive.  Owen reading books a few feet away.

Bea talking to Olive;

Bea:  "Bite Owen.  Go on.  Bite him!"

Olive:  You could tear my ears off and I wouldn't bite you. I'm the sweetest dog ever remember?

Bea: "Come on! Bite him Olive!  Bite him!"

Olive: I wouldn't even bite that evil woman who calls herself Mommy. She fucking hates me and I don't want to bite her even a little. Why would I bite Owen?

Bea: "Please Olive?  Bite Owen!  Just bite him!!"

Olive:  Fine.

Olive walks over to Owen and licks him.

Bea to Al:  "That was a mean lick."


*******

Four years old knows that everyone needs a Mommy.

I got a call from my sister.  Her boyfriend's mother is 95, living at home with him, and had possibly decided to start dying.  She wanted me to go check on her.

And I'm just so fucking nice, I threw the kids in the car and headed over to see Edith.

My kids come to work with me often.  They know about old people.  They know old people die.

"Mommy?  Is Joe's Mommy sick?"

"Well. She's very old and is maybe sick."

"Is Joe's Mommy going to die?"

"I don't know."

"If Joe's Mommy dies then who is going to be his Mommy?  Is Joe going to get a new Mommy?"

"Oh Sweetie!"

Followed by a string of unintelligible rambling verklemptedness.

*******

Four years old just may be my favorite.

"Mom! I want some juice!"

"You want some juice what?"

"Apple!!"

*******

Thursday, September 9, 2010

For Those Who Get It.

I've always been fascinated by people's reactions to Owen.  The first few years brought their share of blatant idiocy.  And there were some really sweet moments.

What I've noticed is that most Mommies of typical kids don't say anything.  And hardly any Daddies do. 

I get it.  Maybe guilt that their kids are 'normal'.  Maybe unsure about how to approach the issue.  Whatever.  I get it.

So last week at the playground, I was pleasantly surprised by Meat Head Guy.  You know the guy.  Black Harley shirt with the sleeves ripped off.  Cut off  denim shorts.  Several tattoos.  Shades.

His little girl was playing with Bea in the sandbox and Owen joined them.  Meat Head didn't hesitate to ask about Owen:

How much does he hear?

Does he sign?

Does his sister sign?

Where does he go to school?

He was as curious as you'd expect a child to be.  And listened intently to my explanations with the excited smile of a child.  He apologized for asking so many questions.

I reassured him, no apology necessary. His inquisitiveness made my day.

As did the reaction from a girl at work the other night.  We'd only worked together a handful of times, but hit it off right away.  She's smart, funny, sarcastic, bitchy.  Kindred spirit.

We were chatting about the start of the school year and I'd mentioned where Owen's school was.  She didn't understand why he went to school so far away;

"Oh.  He's Deaf."

"Oh!  Co-. I'm sorry I was gonna say Cool..."

"No!  Cool is awesome.  Cool is perfect.   I love Cool.  So much better than 'I'm sorry' or 'It's a shame', that shit pisses me off.  He IS cool.  Cool is perfect."

And she asked the usual questions and I gave her the usual rundown.

And the next morning, Bea and I were in the check out line at WalMart. In front of us was a beautiful boy, fourteen years old I'd say, with sandy hair, big blue eyes and a generous sprinkling of freckles.  The first thing I noticed was that he was beautiful.  Like stop and stare beautiful.

As I stared, I took in the whole boy;  a bit of a far away look in his eyes, not talking, always smiling, and keeping in constant contact with his mother.

He'd thread his fingers through hers, stroke her arm, nuzzle her chest.  Always smiling.  Mommy smiling too.

My best guess about this boy?  Autism.

Mommy noticed me noticing them.  Without Owen in tow, she couldn't recognize me as a card carrying member of the Mommies Of The Especially Needy.

I didn't know how to tell her that I got it.

So I just smiled a smile that I hoped conveyed that understanding

Not. Pity.

And as we stood waiting, as he hugged his Mommy, and as he stroked her arm as if she were his favorite pet, the softest thing he ever felt; I wondered if Bea noticed that there was something different about this boy.

She did.

"Mommy?  You see that boy?"

Oh no.

"Yes Sweetie, I do."

"He really loves his Mommy."

"Yes he does Sweetie.  He really does."

And the Mommy noticed.

And we smiled.