Little did she know, I was planning on getting drunk and posting the fucker tonight.
So there. Skank. Here's your fugly fucking graphic:
And your list of fucking rules:
1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I've created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.
2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.
3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.
4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. Starting with the 5 of you I'm about to pass this award on to.
All rightey then. Four lies and a truth.
1. These are my boobs:
2. This is the view outside my kitchen window:
3. This is my husband:
4. This is the funniest fucking thing I've seen all week:
5. This is my ass:
Now to subject some poor victims to this nonsense.
1. The Empress (She'll never fucking do it.)
2. Eileen (Thanks for showing me that video!)
3. MommaKiss (She's probably already been tagged, but fuck it.)
4. Erin. (She's geting wasted at Blissdom and won't do it either.)
5. Dysfunctional Supermom (She likes to say fuck as much as I do!)(Aaaaand she'd already been tagged too. Oh fucking well.)