Greedy Bitches! It's A Jewelry Giveaway!

I tried being a girl for a year or two in high school.  I painted my nails, wore pretty clothes,  collected eye makeup and jewelry.  It didn't last.  It isn't me.  I'm not that girl.

Now?  Minimal makeup.  Dresses only in the summer 'cause walking around naked isn't allowed.

And jewelry?  I don't even wear my wedding ring most days.  I'm allergic.  Yup.  Metal and my skin are not friends.  Earrings are the worst.  Itching starts the second I put an earring in.  And YES, I've tried every metal known to man; the stuff that is supposed to be hypoallergenic makes me want to rip my ear off.  Same with gold, siver, and even platinum. 

I don't care.

But my sister?  Total girl.  Pretty clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry.  Pretty princess she is.

She's the one with the nice rack.

She has an Etsy shop.  She sells jewelry.  She makes the prettiest things with her own two hands, Silver and Stones. 

Last week, over some drinks, we hatched a plan to drum up some business for her by giving away a piece of her prettiness to you dear faithful readers. 

No matter that dear sister is NOT a faithful reader. 

Whatever.

So.  You want some free jewelry?

These earrings?

Aren't they pretty?  Yes they are.  You totally want them.

You know the deal.  Giveaways have fucking rules.  And you know rules piss me off.

I don't give a crap if you follow me here just to score some fucking swag.

You'll be sorry if you follow me on Twitter 'cause I totally suck at it; unless you like offers to change your diaper or announcements that it is time to fire up the ol' crack pipe.

Tweet the giveaway if you want. I spend so little time on Twatter that I'll likely never notice your effort.

Like my fan page on Facebook if you can find it.  You won't find it.  It does not exist.

The real rules:

1.  Dance naked under the light of the moon.  Video evidence required.

2.  Write a 2000 word essay about what a jerk I am.

3.  Make my fucking decrepit diabetic puking dog disappear.

Ok fine.  Seriously.  These lovely earrings can be yours if you:

1. Go to my sister's Etsy shop.

2.  Heart her shop.  You just need to click on the little *heart* and add it to your favorites.

3.  Leave comment HERE telling me why you love/want/need/covet those earrings or anything else that my sister has made.

The winning COMMENT gets the earrings.  Profanity and general inappropriateness are encouraged as my SISTER will be picking the winner. We are a lot alike.

You have until next Tuesday December 7th.

Good luck bitches!

Tell your friends!