Awww Nuts. That's Just Evil. Poor. Me.

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Bea attended her very first birthday party this past Sunday, for a friend at her preschool.

I do not know these Mommies at all. But. Despite being a snarky bitch, I am actually quite friendly and will talk to anyone.

I realized very quickly that I am not at all like some of these normie Mommies.

I am not at all like Poor Me Mommy;

Who decided I was the perfect person to corner and apply thick layers of her Poor Me-ness onto for having a child with a peanut allergy:

The worry.  The constant vigilance to keep child away from any nut products.  The reading of every label. The dealing with the schools, having to make accommodations.  Doctors appointments.  All the work.  All the worry. 

"You have no idea", she promises me.

Oh no honey.  You have no idea who you are talking to. If only you could read my mind.  You'd feel like a douchenozzle.

Poor her.

I'm not like this Mommy.

I am like the Mommies who want to make crude jokes about this:

The Deaf Kid Mommies would have been all over that shit.

*******

Al put some shelves in the playroom closet for me.  Friend Sally swooned at the sight of the organized perfection that is now the playroom closet.

Owen got in on the construction action.  He learned how to work a screwdriver.  Al let him remove some strike plates from some doors downstairs.  He put them right back on.  So proud!

Owen loves his new skill.  I love the fine motor gold that is screwing and unscrewing things.

Yesterday morning I awoke to noises in the hall.

Owen, sitting on the floor, beaming proudly at me, holding up two of the three hinges that hold his door on.

We are so screwed.

*******

Bea has been commenting on Owen's speech a lot lately;

"Mom.  You know.  Owen says stuff wrong.  He can't talk very good."

I ask her nicely not to tell him he is saying stuff wrong.

Like when he insists he went to see the movie "Magazine",

or that he loves his "Transforum" guys,

and especially not how much he is  looking forward to our "Christmas Evil" Party.

*******

Balls.

Bea and I made a batch this morning. Very simple recipe:

Butter
Flour
Powdered sugar
Chopped walnuts
Vanilla

We baked them and rolled them in powdered sugar until they looked like perfect little snowballs.

Bea couldn't wait to try one.

She LOVED it. Taking itty bitty bites to make it last longer.

3/4 of the way through her cookie:

"My tongue hurts.  And it's itchy."

Fucking nut allergy.

Poor me.

*******

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