My babysitting bartering arrangement with friend Sally is working out beautifully. We're not paying for childcare and our kids get along swimmingly.
One teensy problem has arisen though; her son Lenny has got it bad for Bea.
I got a text one afternoon;
Sally: "Lenny sitting across from Bea, rubbing her back, gazing into her eyes, telling her she's beautiful."
He's three and the kid has got game.
I had him over for a couple hours last week. He and Bea were sitting at the table playing with Play-Doh;
Lenny: "I love you Bea. To the galaxy and back."
Sally is afraid she's going to have to sew a condom on him when he turns thirteen so she doesn't end up a grandmother before she turns forty.
Lenny's sister Mya, who is almost five, goes to preschool with Bea. We drive her in two days a week and then have her over for the afternoon.
She and Bea live in a girly pretend fantasy world complete with princesses, fairies, monsters and witches.
Last week they were pretending they were the witches while I dicked around on the computer. Keyboard almost got doused with coffee when they marched up to me and announced their witch names:
Huvvah and Dilda.
Sally told me about this cool stuff you can make, called quicksand, by mixing corn starch and water.
Most mommies probably already know about it. I'm a little slow with this stuff.
Anyway. This shit is so much fun. Bea will play with it for hours.
It looks like a worse mess than it really is. Cleans up with just a wet sponge. And the floor?
I went and got myself a new toy, I've been lusting after Sally's for a few weeks, and just had to have one:
"So depressing how happy this thing makes me."
"Seriously, my floor has never been cleaner."
"Ok. I need to be in a commercial. Just dramatically tossed bucket, mop, and Swiffer down cellar stairs."
"Also? I need to get a life."
I hardly ever win anything. Mostly because I don't enter to win anything.
I did submit a post to this little blog writing contest. And I didn't win.
But I got a mention!
And this post that did win, is fucking awesome.
And what you've all been waiting for, the secret to weight loss success. I found it.
Have sex in the daytime. Curtains open. With the sun shining in through a window.
Horrified, I went and joined Spark People.
The simple calorie counter is right on my CrackBerry. I need a tool that is easy to use and shows me exactly what I'm putting in my body.
The being constantly hungry part? Not so easy.
But I miss looking good naked.
Now. I gotta run. I've got a lunch date with a fucking carrot.
More Random with Keely, The UnMom