Tuesday, August 31, 2010

He's Imaginary, He's Deaf, And Now He's A Crossdresser?



Sweet freedom.

Owen went back to school today.

I remember the day I learned about Owen's hearing loss.  As soon as I got home from the hospital (after stopping at Border's and grabbing a Sign Language Dictionary), I called the director of his current school.

Lynn was at my house within the week.  She was instantly smitten with a beautiful Deaf baby.

I was instantly smitten with her.

She came to our house every week to hang out with Owen.  To introduce him to ASL.  To work on his speech.

But really, Lynn just liked hanging out with Deaf people, kids, babies. 

She came to us once a week, and we went to the school once a week for playgroup.  Until he turned three and started pre-school. 

He's been at the same school since.


I was more than a little anxious about this coming year, as his school has moved.  But all of his teachers, aides, therapists, and classmates have moved too. 

At the orientation last week, Lynn was uncomfortably on the defensive, knowing that some of us parents were none too happy about the move.  She made an exhausting effort to explain the move in the most positive light. 

I was proud of the none too happy parents.  Not a negative word passed my ears.  We all gushed about the school, which is newer and better equipped than the old one.  We declared our love for the bigger classrooms and the sweet computer lab.

She pulled me aside to further explain. I felt sorry for her position of needing a public school system to house her most prized pupils.  The old school was pushing her out. She needed to act fast to snag some space.

She did good.

As much as she tried to reassure me that this was a good move, I tried to reassure her that I was on her side all the way.

Even though the way was so much further from home.


So Owen got on that bus this morning, eager to see his friends and teachers, waving me off as I hugged and kissed:

"OK! OK!  Good Bye!!"

Much different from his first bus ride three years ago:

(Ignore me calling him by the wrong name if you don't mind....)

That video reminds me of a nervous habit that Owen used to have.  Playing with his g-tube.

This is the first first day of school that I've sent him off without his tube.


Poor Bea.  She wanted to get on that bus with her brother so badly.  Since she couldn't, she sent her friend along with him.

Jack has been with Bea for the past year or so.  Jack is Bea's best friend and playmate.He and Bea color, play blocks, hide and seek, he pushes her on the swing, requires lunch, hits, and earns time outs.

Jack is imaginary.

He is with us most days.  Except for today.

Bea:  "I am going to school with Owen tomorrow ok?"

Me:  "No Sweetie, you can't go to school with Owen.  Owen goes to a Deaf school. You are Hearing, not Deaf."

Bea:  "Oh.  Jack is Deaf. He is going to school with Owen."

Me:  "That's nice,  Owen will have another friend at school."

Bea:  "Yeah, Jack is wearing a dress."

Me:  *crickets*


So.  I was so nerved up about Owen's first day at a "new" school, that I tried like Hell to get someone to cover my shift tonight.

I really wanted to be home when he got off the bus.

Al didn't get it;

"He'll be fine, he's been going to school for years. What are you so worried about?  He'll be FINE."

"This has nothing to do with Owen.  I'm freaking the fuck out here.  I need to be here when he gets home."

I couldn't get anyone to take my shift.


I called in sick to work.


Of course, Owen was fine.




More random at UnMom.


  1. Yay, Owen! Of course, we knew HE'd be fine. It's Mom that needs the support, yeah?

    Awesome that the parents didn't give the director hell. Very awesome.

  2. So glad he had a good first day- who cares if Al didn't get it- we all do!

  3. Glad to hear it went well. The question is did anyone notice Jack's dress?

    Random reminder: Deaf Awareness Week is the last week of Sept. xoxo

    We can make it a ritual, every year I will remind you. (You're welcome.)

  4. Be a is so cool. Glad the boy had a great day. Xo

  5. Regardless of how Owen's day turned out...you had to be home when he got there. That is unquestionable.

    SO glad you called in sick. Would be better if we could just call in Mom. Unfortunately, bosses don't deal in mom currency for the most part. Fuck 'em!

  6. Jack needs to be a black Jewish gay guy in a wheelchair just to put a lock on that underdog status.

  7. I don't know what's more heartbreaking, when they're fine, or when they need us.
    Good job, Owen!
    (Good job, Tulpen.)

  8. OOHHH Nervous. My Jack (who is real and deaf) starts in 6 months and I am already shitting my dacks. Good on you for calling in sick 0 i'd have done the same.

  9. Hi. Stopping by from Keely. Great post!

  10. hey I thought his name was Owen ;) look at you forgetting you own kid's name and on his first day of school.

    totally kidding, glad all went well I have found that mommies are usually more nervous than the kids. Abby is freaking out to go to school, not til next year but the poor thing is gonna be pissed when she finds out they don't just eat lunch and play on the playground oh and have parties every day since this is what she is used to doing there.

  11. Can't get over how much he looks like Bea in that video. Cute as a button.

    that post down there--the one about your mouth?--I would have died. Hell, I kind of died just reading it.

  12. Owen obviously has things together. Maybe you should focus on Bea and why she's letting Jack wear dresses.

  13. Did anyone ask how Jack's day was? Did he get heckled?

    Best make sure Bea doesn't have something planned for you after you go to sleep.

    Owen, you rock. Its okay Mom, we got this.

  14. So, was he fine? How did it go?

  15. We had the first day back here. I freaked out too and went to spy at the other side of the hedge when they had a break.

  16. Glad to hear all is well with the school move. Sure, it sucks... but everyone seems to be dealing with it well.

    Don't you hate it when husbands are right? Shane would've been all, "I told you so, he's fine", with this smug look on his face which would've made me want to punch him in the throat.

  17. I had forgotten Jack was deaf. But I never knew his penchant or women's clothing. I like him more and more. Glad you've made a bit of peace with the new school, even if it is further away. W. plays with his belly button and grabs his package when he's nervous. Since we won't be getting either removed, I'm just hoping he'll grow out of it one day. xo - happy hump day to ya.

  18. I totally love stories about Bea and Jack

  19. You are funny and poignant! I love the part about the cross-dresser followed by the sound of crickets!

  20. I'm glad things went well. It will put your mind at ease for the rest of the year. I got treated to the "I don't need you mom, by both." Guess I didn't need to take the day off. But it was a nice day off anyway.

  21. i do think the first days of school are harder on the moms than the kids or dads. i think it is so very sweet that bea sent her crossdressing friend jack to school w/ owen. i hope your kids are always as loving towards each other when they get older. some how my kids lost that ability and now call each other douche canoes instead.

  22. I'd have also taken the day off. I'm debating picking mine up early since he had a rough morning but he's probably having a great time now, it's just me that's worried. I'm glad Owen did so well.

  23. Very Interesting!
    Thank You!

  24. Of course you had to have off on his first day off the bus?

    How can ANYONE not understand that?

    I swear....sounds like a certain person under this roof.

    Some things cannot be put into words...

    You did good, mama...

  25. Excuse me, but I'd like to request some more details from Anonymous above, What part was interesting? The calling in? The cross dressing imaginary friend? Fiddling with the G tube? The move to the new school? Lynn?

    Or the heartbreaking video?

  26. i think i would have called in sick, too! i am so glad it went well, and i bet you are too! WHEW!

  27. Lynn sounds like an absolute angel, and your kid is JUST fine, eh? Especially with his deaf crossdressing best friend along for the ride.

    Aaaaand, Clink!

  28. I hate when they use the "f" word. Almost as much as "relax."


    Good for you for calling in sick. I used to call those "mental health" days. I think they were too afraid I'd show up with a butcher knife if they called me on it. Heehee.

    Glad his first day went well. Of course :-) Hope crossdressing Jack faired as well.

  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

  30. Sorry. That was me hitting post twice. Not Anon coming back for more.

  31. There's no good scenario here. Either they cry and make us feel bad or they don't cry and make us feel bad. It's just a day for feeling bad.

    I'm glad he loved it! That makes it easier on the second day at least.


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