Saturday, August 28, 2010

A Sense Of Humor Being As Important As Mad Oral Skills.

Twelve years ago, Al and I had been dating for a year.  We were living together in a teeny little apartment on the waterfront.  We loved it.

Al's family is of the large and close knit variety.  I'd met his parents,  three sisters and brother on several occasions; and his aunts, cousins, and grandmother, maybe a couple of times.

His parents had a beautiful home with a large patio and pool.  They loved having the whole gang over for cookouts and swimming.

On a Sunday, one such party was commencing.

The following Monday morning, I'd be at the hospital getting a cone biopsy and D & C for some pesky little cells that needed to be banished from my cervix.

Now.  I was still the newcomer in this group.  I still felt like a guest.  I liked all these people, but I wasn't a part of the family by any stretch.  I was basically the chick that their brother/son/grandson/cousin/nephew was shacking up with.

So.  I wasn't thrilled that the topic of conversation had somehow turned to my girly business. 

Yep. I found myself in a discussion with these very nice people, who were just a few meetings up from being strangers, about the state of my gynecological health.


Al's sisters and mother and aunt were very sympathetic, and wished me well and all that crap.  They knew a little about the procedure and what the recovery entailed.

Six weeks with no sex.  Yeah.  This wasn't getting uncomfortable at all.  And it was about to get pricklier as Al joined the discussion, and his siblings started ribbing him;

"What are you going to do without sex for six weeks?!"

Pointing and laughing at him.

"You've never gone that long with out getting laid!"

Me, looking around for shovel with which to dig a hole to crawl into.

Oh look, Grandma has joined us.  Great.

"Your hand is gonna fall off!!"

Al had finally had enough of being picked on and decided to put an end to it with this stroke of genius:

"What's the big deal?  It's not like she's having surgery on her MOUTH."

A few seconds of stunned silence were followed by shrieks of screaming laughter.  Drinks were spit out.  A body may have fallen out of a chair.

Al looked proud that he'd made such a funny, and looked proud that I'd handled it so well, as I had no choice but to join in the screaming laughter.

And for the next six weeks, he was very grateful that not only had I not dumped him, but that I hadn't had surgery on my mouth.


Happy Anniversary Babe.


  1. Wow. That TOTALLY sounds like something that might have occurred at one of our family functions. Dysfunctions.

    good times

    happy anniversary!

  2. Should he ever give up carpentry, he can always write for Hallmark.

  3. Oh my god! Effing hilarious!
    I have to admit, I am a wee jealous. His family sounds like a TON of fun. (I'm sure that's more the case when your BJs aren't the topic of the family BBQ!)

  4. Haha!
    Great story- happy anni and I love the photo!

  5. Very whimsical photo. You two are cute.

    Hilarious story!

  6. Your husband's family sounds like a lot of fun! My in-laws....not so much.

    Happy anniversary.

  7. Happy, happy anniversary to you and Al. I love you both for this story, which has made my day. Now I can smile through the gradefest that awaits.

  8. Now that is awesome.

    And such a beautiful wedding picture.

  9. Happy Anniversary. At least you knew what you were getting into right up front with his family. :)

  10. Happy Anniversary!! You guys are fucking awesome :)

  11. totally worth the wait

    look how sweet you guys look in your pic:)

    Happy Anniversary

  12. Al ROCKS!

    Happy Anniversary to the beautiful couple.

  13. If I had alredy been eating the mac 'n' cheese I'm heating up, I would have just snorted a noodle out of my nose.

    Happy day to you both. I'm impressed.

  14. LMAO!!!
    You two are a match made in heaven.

  15. Happy anniversary! You guys sound like quite a pair- made for each other and all. And the family- fabulous!

  16. Yay the BJ story at last! :-D

    Happy anniversary to you and Al!

  17. Happy Anniversary!

    But I was hoping for some kind of instructional post... seeing as how you're a pro... thought maybe I could get some tips...

  18. I don't show many posts to my husband, but this is a must.

  19. Happy Anniversary. I remember that story, I like the family you married into, they sound like they have a good sense of humor.

  20. Happy Belated Anniversary Tulpen & Al!! I'm sure you made the most of your night! ;)

  21. Sounds like you picked a good one (with a good family). Happy anniversary!

  22. THE HORROR! but hilarious!

    and happy anniversary!

  23. You guys are just a match made in heaven, huh? Happy Anniversary.

  24. OMG, at that point, I might have just died. LOL.

    Happy anniversary!!!

  25. LOL what a funny story! Your post title caught my eye from SITS. Have a great day.

    By the way I am a new follower too!

  26. ROTFLMAO!!! Great come back. Visiting from SITS, and glad I did.

  27. Stopping by from SITS and SO GLAD that I did, this is hysterical!

  28. Happy (belated) Anniversary! At long last, the blow job story! I thought it was going to be a lot more graphic and involve bodily fluids. I know you get sick of hearing this but...very tastefully done.

  29. There's one that is sure to go down in history. Told and retold thru the ages. Happy anniversary!

  30. Happy Anniversary, indeed.
    "and then grandma joined the conversation" - priceless.

    Also? It looks like he may be grabbing your boobie in that picture. No? A lil feel-er-up?

  31. that would be the moment I'd have thought "i"m marrying this guy".

  32. Holy shit that was funny! Thank goodness I have learned not to have a drink in my mouth when I read your blog. Hot tea out the nose would have sucked.

  33. Funny story. That's something my husband would definitely think, though not say in front of his old fashioned Cuban granny. She's of the generation where they swear they only had sex for procreation. Stopping over from SITS. Thanks for the laughs.

  34. Ooh Lordy -- I had to click when I saw your post title on another blog (got to luv commentluv) -- and glad I did! There is a screenplay lurking in your extended family, Missy!

  35. happy belated anniversary. that statement of al's sounds EXACTLY like something the hubs would say. he also would say it in a crowd of family and be proud of it. wow.

  36. And the icing on this cake story?

    He's coppin' a feel in the anniv pic here....

    Sly dog.

  37. Happy belated!!

    Well, at least he didn't say "it's not like she's having hemorrhoid surgery." Right?


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