Saturday, May 29, 2010

Conversation.

Thursday evening. Around 7pm. I'd had Bea and Owen's bestest friend in the whole wide world, Lil for most of the day.

They love each other like siblings. They torture each other like siblings.

It was the eleventh hour for me, Al had toiled away the day and sought comfort in couch and beer.

Lounging and imbibing downstairs as children play upstairs:

Al: "You hear yelling?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm done with the yelling."

Al: "Yeah, they're fine."

Me: "Yeah."

sip sip

Al: "You hear crying?"

Me: "They'll come down if they see blood."

Al: "Yeah."

sip sip sip sip.

Me: "Fucking banging? Really?"

Al: "Ass holes."

Me: "Yep. Fucking ass holes."

sip sip sip sip sip sip glug

Al: "Help? They are NOT calling for help are they? How long have they been yelling anyway?"

Me: "I dunno. Since the last commercial maybe? Fuck, Jim Carey is funny eh?"

Al: "Yeah. Can't stand that Zellweger though, fucking squinty-eyed freak."

Me: "Yeah."

Al: "Still yelling. And banging."

Me: "Yeah, that banging is annoying as Hell no?"

sip sip sip glug sip sip

Al: "Yeah. I'll go check on them."

Me: "Whatever."

sip sip sip sip sip sip sip sip sip sip

stomp stomp stomp stomp.

laughter.

stomp stomp stomp stomp.

Al: "Hehehehehehe. You wanna know what all the yelling was about?"

Me: "Whatever."




*re-enactment by my kids who are as effed in the head as their Mommy*

Luckily Lil's mom is MY bestest friend and also thought it was funny as Hell that I left her daughter locked in a small dark cubby in the wall for who knows how many minutes banging on the door and screaming for help.

While I sat on my ass drinking wine.
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20 comments:

  1. QuixoticMay 30, 2010 at 2:24 AM

    Oh dear. That's probably not as effing funny as I think it is, is it?? *snorfle*

    ReplyDelete
  2. twirl unabashedlyMay 30, 2010 at 8:25 AM

    ::stomps foot::

    I want a small dark cubby in the wall!!

    ::pout::

    ReplyDelete
  3. michelleMay 30, 2010 at 8:42 AM

    I wish we were neighbors

    See that fire overthere on your sidebar? THAT was our patio last night while Bruce and I were inside having a post s'mores kidless moment.

    fuckin pyros

    ReplyDelete
  4. essbeseeMay 30, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    zelwegger is annoying, isn't she?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AshMay 30, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    I'm with twirl - gotta get me one of those.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HeatherMay 30, 2010 at 9:26 AM

    Oh I cannot stand Zellweger either. Total fucking squinty-eyed freak. She totally ruined Bridget Jones for me *and* she got to kiss Vincent D'Onofrio in a movie a few years back when he was super-hot. Bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  7. cheatymoonMay 30, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    D and I just had a good chuckle at you two. Well played. xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. ClaireMay 30, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    hahahaa!! That's hilarious!

    She is a squinty eyed freak, btw. Totally weirdo.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Heather TaylorMay 30, 2010 at 7:52 PM

    Totes hilar, loved this post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. DarcCMay 30, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    That was funny. Hope it was good wine.

    ReplyDelete
  11. PseudoMay 30, 2010 at 9:26 PM

    Sip sip sip glub.

    It's margarita Sunday here.

    ReplyDelete
  12. PseudoMay 30, 2010 at 9:27 PM

    PS I love summer.

    ReplyDelete
  13. MwaMay 31, 2010 at 4:05 AM

    That's great! And very funny.

    I always think "If they can still scream, at least they're not dead."

    ReplyDelete
  14. RebeccaMay 31, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    How did they lock themselves in? Funny.......

    ReplyDelete
  15. JoyMay 31, 2010 at 11:50 PM

    F'ing hilarious u guys just left them there, totally something I would do so I am not gonna be a tattle tale anytime soon!

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownJune 1, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    buhahahahah.
    good times.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kelly Deneen RaymondJune 1, 2010 at 11:25 AM

    LOL.

    That is freaking hilarious. I love that you got to keep drinking wine. I would have done that too. Probably. heh.

    ReplyDelete
  18. JenJune 1, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    Totally need a cupboard like that. Totally.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Raina CoxJune 3, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    Why does Zellweger always look like she just had a shellfish reaction?

    ReplyDelete
  20. MrsbearJune 4, 2010 at 5:03 PM

    It's can be so hard to differentiate between the someone's-being-mean-to-me cry and the someone's-locked-me-in-a-closet cry...

    ReplyDelete

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