Tuesday, June 12, 2012

C25K With The Bitches

Left on Justine.

'Something filled up my heart with nothing
 Someone told me not to cry...'

Nice old couple on the right. I think he's losing his shit.  Always cleaning the garage that seems ever more cluttered.  But nice that he keeps busy.

Young couple on the left.  They moved in a couple years ago.  Have had two children since.  We share a fence with them.  I've never laid eyes on the woman. Fucking weirdo.

Houses moving past faster.  Children playing. Swimmers swimming.  Planters planting. Mowers mowing.

'With my lighnin' bolts a glowin'
I can see where I am goin' to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.'

"Begin running."

Left on Maureen.  She is my favorite.  Gently sloping downhill. I can pretend it is easy with Maureen.

'I wheeled around because I didn't hear what you had said
And saw you dancing with Elihu
Up on Leemor's bed'

"Begin walking."

Hmm.  I could have kept going.

I could wimp out and hang a right on Linda.  But stick with Maureen til she ends.

"Begin running."

Head up. Shoulders back. Eyes fixed on the horizon.  Funny how as my spine is being violently compressed with each punishing step, I manage to feel so tall.

'Stars hide your fires,
And these here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so, I'll be found
with my steak stuck in this ground
Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul
hide your fires,
these are my desires'

"Begin walking."

Thank fuck.  Maureen is in a mood today.

Past Nancy.

"Begin running."

OK. So this barely resembles running.  It isn't fast.  It isn't pretty.  But it isn't walking.

'Some come to laugh their past away
Some come to make it just one more day
Whichever way your pleasure tends
If you plant ice you're gonna harvest the wind'

Right on Justine. Avenue this time. Not Road. Seriously, who names TWO roads in the same neighborhood Justine?  Know what? Justine is a whore. Pretty sure anyone named Justine has banged the football team under the bleachers.

Mostly I hate Justine for her curves.  She is all uphill.  And my shitty timing always has me running up her.

I'm still waiting to get high by the way.  I feel  the fire of a thousand suns burning in my chest. Trachea reduced to the diameter of a coffee straw. Leg muscles are quivering gelatinous masses.

Really. To those who think this is getting high?  I had way more fun than you in college.

'The world as I see it is a remarkable place.'

Sweet old lady walking sweet little dog acknowledges my effort;

"You're doing great!"

*gasp* "This Sucks!" *gasp*

I hack out a lung for her pup to munch on.

"Begin walking."

If I were home on my nice eliptical machine in my nice basement; I'd have called it quits by now. But all the way in the back corner of  the neighborhood, I've no choice but to haul my ass back home.

'You are the eagle, you are the lark
You are the world and you're remarkable'


Past Dorothy on the left.  Dorothy. Who would name a kid Dorothy? She was probably with Justine under those bleachers. In the 1940's

"Begin running."

'My heart like a kick drum!'

A heart attacked wrapped in a stroke wrapped in an aneuyrism is what this feels like. And this is somehow good for me? 

Amazingly it is.

I do hate every. fucking. step.

But.

It prevents mother nature from bitch slapping me with a monthly migraine.  It dimishes homicidal tendencies.  It increases patience.  It sleeps great.

So.

Thanks bitches.

See you in the morning.


*******

Soundtrack:

"Wake Up" - Arcade Fire
"Sample in a Jar" - Phish
"Roll Away Your Stone" - Mumford and Sons
"Franklin's Tower" - Grateful Dead
"The World As I see it" - Jason Mraz
"Kick Drum Heart" - The Avett Brothers

16 comments:

  1. Run, baby, run! It's one of those basic, under-utilized tools in life's toolbox. It just works.

    Also, your playlist ROCKS. :)

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  2. Heard about C25K a while ago now. Bought running shoes. That's as far as I've gotten. Thanks for the encouragement.

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  3. Which C25K app are you using? There are so many, I would love an actual recommendation from an actual user instead of just reading the scads of reviews written by God-knows-who on the app store.

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  4. Oh this rings so true to me. I have a litany of why I run going through my head while I'm doing it. Yes this sucks, but it helps PMS. Yes this sucks, but it means I can eat some junk food. Yes this sucks, but I can't afford bigger jeans. Etc, etc.

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  5. I can't get past the first week. Walking for an hour, no problem. Running for a song or two? Fun for the dog. Beyond that? Nope. Have fun. xo

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  6. If I tried running, it would have to be in circles around my house. Because at some point I'd drop to the ground and have to crawl back in, and it would suck for that to happen somewhere down the road. Driving by a woman crawling on her hands and knees, gasping for breathe, is not a pretty sight, and 911 would get involved. And I may or may not know this because it might have already happened to me (lesson learned). I'm impressed you made it back home!

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  7. I hate running and so admire those who love it.

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  8. You're an inspiration.
    Go girl.

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  9. It took me a good ten years to enjoy running.
    (Not to be discouraging. I mean, you may never enjoy it. Was that discouraging enough?)

    But after a decade, I can almost say with a straight face that I kind of love running.
    Of course, I'd still rather sit my ass on the couch.

    But when I get up off it (both my ass and my couch), I love it.
    Just a little bit, though.

    Not like the football team loved Justine and Dorothy.
    Under the bleachers.
    In 1940.

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  10. running. oy. so many people are into it! i am too heavy to run! lol. seriously. years ago i ran (well, it was more like loping or jogging). to be honest, i would jog a block and then walk a block. i looked better and felt better back then, but i was also younger and thinner back then. sigh. maybe i should try it again? doubtful! but i could certainly stand to walk more often (and longer!) when i get out and about in my neighborhood.

    good music really helps with the exercising, no? :)

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  11. I did the c25k this spring -- and YES you totally were just in my head!! I finished the program and ran a 5k on March 11 - so keep running and panting and picturing those sluts under the bleachers. :) You're rockin' it!

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  12. Ack!! Well done!! Also loved the play-by-play.

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  13. P.s. way to get your jog on.

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  14. Please god tell me you have taken at least one creative writing class. The structure of this post is brilliant.

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