Monday, September 5, 2011

All Summer In A Day

Awake to what sounds like the children playing Hunger Games.  Place silent bet with Universe, putting money on Bea.

Throw breakfast at kids, instructing Owen to hurry it up as camp bus will be arriving shortly.

Owen informs me that he won't be attending camp.

Flip the Universe the bird.

Quit blog.

Pack up towels, suits, swimmy vests, sunblock, snacks and drinks.

Throw kids in car and head to Auntie's pool.

Remind everyone every 13 seconds that while swimming? Owen Can't Hear You.

Buy new car:



Head home via grocery store. Remind children every 13 seconds to;

Stop fighting, pay attention, stop fighting!,don't touch that, stop. fighting. please.,NO you can't buy a DVD, stop it with the fighting already!,NO I'm not buying candy, are you ever going to stop fucking fighting?

Put groceries away. Throw lunch at kids. Do laundry. Clean bathrooms. Vacuum entire house.

Pack for New Hampshire!

Story Land:



Santa's Village: Where Deaf kids get in half price!


Caves:





Indoor water park where I smash my heel at bottom of stupid slide which gives me a bruised bone and a sexy limp for the rest of the fucking summer day.




Relax in hot tub after long vacation day with margarita and light rain falling on face.

Sit in traffic forever on way home. With tired and cranky kids. And tired and cranky Al. And tired and cranky me.

Pick up favorite cousin Ned for sleepover.

Pack suits, towels, swimmy vests, sunblock, snacks, drinks, shovels and buckets and drag kids to pond.







Remind Ned and Bea every 13 seconds that while at pond? Guess what!

Owen. Can't. Fucking. Hear. You.

Go to work where I lose most beloved sweet old lady, and am sad.

Also lose least beloved, not sweet at all old hag lady. Not much with the sadness.

Come home. Clean house, do laundry.

Pack suits and towels and take kids to swim lesson.

Exhaust self with attempt at interpreting for Owen. Totally suck at it.

Home again.

Al tends to grill while I ensure children don't set each other on fire.




Chicken wings. Burgers. Corn.

Wine.




Wrangle kids into bath, jammies, bed.

Clean house. Do laundry.

Service Al.

Cuddle up with laptop and watch every episode of Torchwood.

Fall asleep with glasses on face and Kindle on chest.

Dream of short buses and preschool classes.
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37 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2011 at 9:58 AM

    Damn good summer. I can't believe I wasn't there at all and missed all the fun.

    Happy Shortbus Day tomorrow.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. AlexandraSeptember 5, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    I am calling it a comeback, with tears in my eyes.

    I MISS YOU TULP!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nancy CSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Please say you're coming back. I'll bribe you with wine. Happy back to normal day.

    Also? The Fucking fighting? My God, it never stops.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Drama MamaSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    "Stop fighting, pay attention, stop fighting!,don't touch that, stop. fighting. please.,NO you can't buy a DVD, stop it with the fighting already!,NO I'm not buying candy, are you ever going to stop fucking fighting?"

    This sums up my summer in a nutshell.

    God bless the big bus and the short bus.

    I've missed you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. EvonneSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    I'm exhausted just reading that. Damn! But I'm sure there was some fun among the fighting.

    Welcome back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. K DubsSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    Best.

    Summer.

    Ever.


    :) Sounds like a blast, and I'm so happy Owen stayed home for it all!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mad Woman behind the BlogSeptember 5, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    OMG, can I come spend next summer with you? I'm a mean laundry folding machine.

    ALSO OMG, your kids are getting so BIG!

    AND, I'm a little jealous of all the fun.

    Oh yeah, I missed you girl!

    ReplyDelete
  8. JulieSeptember 5, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I feel the need to repeat every 13 seconds how happy I am to see you back here.

    But time doesn't translate well in comments.

    So you just have to trust me.

    I'm happy.
    I'm happy.
    I'm happy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ElizabethSeptember 5, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    I'm taking this as a sign.

    And I hear you with the fucking fighting. Oh good, god. The fucking fighting.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LittlebitSeptember 5, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    What everyone else said. As for me, I saw there was a new post here and my heart just smiled ;-)

    You've been missed.

    ReplyDelete
  11. JenSeptember 5, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    Those buses come tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  12. michelleSeptember 5, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    Tell me about it...

    You know, if you leave clean laundry in a heap for long enough, it doesn't smell clean anymore.

    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just A Normal MomSeptember 5, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    Sounds like a fantastic, frustrating, great, exhausting summer! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. NubianSeptember 5, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    Happy summer. Always happier with wine right?

    ReplyDelete
  15. UnknownSeptember 5, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    'sup stranger.

    Missed ya bunches.

    ReplyDelete
  16. tootertotzSeptember 5, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    Sounds like you put your focus where it needed to be for a summer...hoping that (wore you the fuck out enough) rejuvenated you to bring your life back to those of us who love your view of it.

    Even if you only come back every so often, we will take what we can get and probably ask for more but who cares?

    Welcome back! I hope.

    ReplyDelete
  17. LeighannnSeptember 5, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    I am exhausted.

    I have missed you.

    Thank God you're back

    ReplyDelete
  18. jillsmoSeptember 5, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    YOU.

    IT'S YOU.

    YOU'RE HERE.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mrs. TunaSeptember 5, 2011 at 9:46 PM

    Busy, busy, busy. At least Al got a little blowie. Everyone hates a grumpy daddy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mama GooseSeptember 5, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    So glad you're back! Found out about your blog, read all the archives...and you stopped for so long! Been checking everyday. So nice to see a new post!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sprite's KeeperSeptember 5, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    I wouldn't say you stopped blogging, I'd consider it a long breathy pause, one that Mariah Carey should consider.

    ReplyDelete
  22. JaymeSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:43 PM

    Welcome back! We've missed you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. PseudoSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:03 AM

    Excellent.

    Love the wine in the fire shot.

    Welcome back ; -)

    ReplyDelete
  24. JohnSeptember 6, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    You have been missed, Momma.

    I'm still not sure if you were recapping your summer or a storm that blew through.

    ReplyDelete
  25. JennaSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    oh i love that youre so real here. thanks for taking us through your life in short bursts of words and pictures. Its a familiar overwhelm, complete with the occasional f bomb :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mama BadgerSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    I'm going to pretend that all I read was "pool, pond, wine, kindle". Because the fucking fighting? I get enough of that at my house. Except I add "Don't hit your brother, dingus" at my house.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Julia O'CSeptember 6, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    Hooray, you're back!

    ReplyDelete
  28. PoppySeptember 7, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    Did you get a mohawk too?

    ReplyDelete
  29. MommaKissSeptember 7, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    well hello there! super fantastic update, woman.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Kelly Deneen RaymondSeptember 7, 2011 at 2:44 PM

    I have missed you and your fabulous wit. I hope this means I will see more updates from you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. MaraSeptember 8, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    YOU'RE BACK!!!! I MISSED YOUR BLOG, YAY!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. drollgirlSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    dude! what a summer!

    i have slacked on the blog thang too. who cares. it is more fun to do it when you WANT to than making it a daily grind kind of thing. right? RIGHT.

    ReplyDelete
  33. MrsbearSeptember 9, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Summer is tricky all around.

    But a new car is a nice thing to throw in there. Pass one my way?

    Why do your kids look so much bigger than the last time I looked at them? Seems like children just telescope during the summer months.

    Don't quit blogging. Really.

    ReplyDelete
  34. KirstenSeptember 10, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    i can't count the number of times i smiled while reading this.

    and not cuz i suck at math.

    jughugs, k

    ReplyDelete
  35. robinSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    You're back! Whoop! Whoop!
    "Don't call it a comeback/I been here for years/Rockin' my peers and puttin suckas in fear"
    (Name that tune!)

    ReplyDelete
  36. creative kerfuffleSeptember 11, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    ah, glad to have you back. i hate to tell ya, but that fighting thing? yeah, it doesn't end. my kids are 11 and 14, and i still say stop fighting daily. i hope youre limp is better. other than that it sounds like an amazing, memory-filled summer!

    ReplyDelete
  37. K A B L O O E YSeptember 12, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Only thing better than seeing you back at the blogging? If I had my own wine glass the size of a fourth grader. Glad to have you back. Nice 'hawk, Owen.

    ReplyDelete

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