Thursday, March 17, 2011

Just Skip To The End For The Eye Candy.

Eight years of doctors appointments, eight years of sticker rewards for suffering through countless pokes and prods and other traumatizing experiences.


On the windows of my car.  The other side was just as bad.  My otherwise nondescript Toyota Corolla is easily spotted by many as mine.

Until today.  I grabbed the Goo Gone and pie server and went to work.

I said goodbye to all the characters who have been travelling with us all this time;

Shrek.  Spiderman.  Ironman.  Kung Fu Panda. Cars. Trucks.  Miscellaneous Princesses.

Not an easy task.  Those fuckers have been baked on for years.

The hardest one though?  That I had to rub and rub and rub until my wrist was sore before I got it off?

Woody.

Just ask Bea;

"Mommy. You're really rubbing that Woody hard aren't you?"

TeeHee.

*******

Looking at a photo album with Owen.  A picture of me in the hospital after having Bea.  Owen is asking me if I was sick, like he was when he was a baby.

"No.  That was when Bea was born, remember?"  Signing and speaking to him. He nods in understanding,  runs and finds Bea, waving the photo album in her face;

"See this one?  Mommy said is when you were boring."

*******

Too bad Owen's real name isn't Graham (look at the striped pillow on the bed) and that he isn't a lunatic for all things Spiderman.


'Cause if he was?  This would be so fucking cool.

*******

It has been two weeks now. 

Since Bea threw a fit of epic proportions about whoknowswhat that sent her up the stairs and to her room where she kicked and screamed and flailed for whoknowshowlong and finally calmed down enough to display the injury she incurred whilst throwing said spectacular fit.

She showed me this injury again today, mostly healed, but still referred to as a;

"Boo Boo of Stomping."

*******

I was more than a quarter of my way through an actual crosswalk this week when fucking minivan driving douchebag drove right through it.  She did slow down when she noticed me, but kept right on going.  She looked right at me as I mouthed:

ASS. HOLE.

And as I looked right at her?  I realized we went to high school together.

She was an ass hole then too.

I unfriended her on Facebook.

Ha.

*******

Jillsmo tagged me for a fucking meme just to piss me off.

I'm supposed to take a picture of the books on my bedside table and talk about them or some shit.

Well Jillypoo, I'm too lazy to take a picture of the disaster that is my bedside table, and this is a *cough* family blog anyway and I would never want to offend. 

So.

Here's my books:



I swore I was going to stop after the third book and read something different.  But then I saw a commercial for a new movie starring this guy:


And having cast him in my fantasies mind - with flaming red hair of course- as the gallant Jamie Fraser,  I'm dug into Drums Of Autumn until the thrill wears off. 

Yeah.  That isn't gonna happen anytime soon.

Yum.

You're Welcome.

*******

47 comments:

  1. Cooper has too many clothes on in that picture.

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  2. As I'm reading this (with the TV on) a commercial came on for his movie (Limitless? How about Pantless...hi-o!

    I there such a thing as Freudian signing slips? Boring indeed.

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  3. WTF Tulps? Mama wants FULL FRONTAL Bradley Cooper. Bring it!

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  4. I was thinking that the Kindle was the eye candy because I know I LOVE mine.

    But then I got to the real eye candy. And I LOVE that picture. But maybe not more than my Kindle.

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  5. I thought of you yesterday and was totally wishing you and Owen were by my side because some deaf guy came up to me and motioned something and when he saw I was totally lost he just walked off. I don't know why he thought I knew sign but am glad he thought I did......I just wish I did...or at least you and Owen were beside me.

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  6. yum

    I will have to check out those books. I will need something when I am done with the Hot vampires :) oh and FYI I have watched the first 2 seasons of true blood and they are good! Netflix has a free 1month trial I got it just so I could watch the 2nd season after hubs bought me the first one for valentines day.

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  7. "Mommy. You're really rubbing that Woody hard aren't you?"
    Best reason to have a kid. Ever.

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  8. My last car had the Walmart happy face stickers on the windows. Luckily, they stopped giving them out around the time I got our new van.

    I love the Boo Boo of Stomping.

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  9. I can't find my Kindle, it has disappeared in my home somewhere...good housekeeper I am not.

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  10. When I was a kid I wanted an Annie bedroom. I'm still traumatized from not getting it. I hereby decree that Owen should have a spiderman bedroom.

    Boo-boo of stomping - priceless.

    Jamie Fraser - sigh.

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  11. LOVE "The Drums of Autumn"! The Outlander series is what I reach for when I need a little escape.

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  12. Maybe I have to revisit Outlander.
    Boo boo of stomping might be the best ever.

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  13. Oh Bradley, I had no idea I was sharing you with Tulpen, and the rest of the blogging world too, apparently.
    Dying over the Woody comment.

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  14. I adore you.

    Not in the creepy stalker way, just in the sense of appreciating your genius wit. Brava!

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  15. He is NOT gonna be Jamie!!?? Jaysus have mercy.

    Stickers on car windows make me cringe.

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  16. Yeah, if someone almost ran me over in a crosswalk, I'd unfriend their asses too. :-)

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  17. Oh pretty please, pretty pretty please takeover Fine Man Friday! PLEASE.
    The research alone is worth the effort.

    Now come here Cooper, there are things my tongue must do to those abs of yours. I'm hoping to find a Woody to rub real hard.

    What?

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  18. Fine Man Friday? Where have I been?
    I am so confused I am lucky to hit post over at my blog.

    THAT is a fine man and it IS Friday so ??

    Also, my daughter threw tantrums of EPIC proportions so if Bea needs any tips?

    heee

    love the spidey bedroom


    that is all

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  19. YUM!

    Wait, did you say something before that? haha

    One of my fears is that the driver I am cussing out will be someone I know... in this case, sounds like she deserved it.

    -Ally

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  20. omg....i am laughing so hard. about you rubbing the Woody hard. LMAO!

    and so happy you got the stickers off---yay!

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  21. Don't give up after Drums of Autumn. Maybe just take a little break. Because the last ones are really good, too. When you can set the red head against the dark, swarthy Roger. Hmmmm. I may need to re-read them.

    And he is tasty in that last picture, now isn't he?

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  22. Is it wrong that I just licked my computer screen?
    Oh yes the ultimate Facebook bitchslap...the unfriending. She deserved it!

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  23. Mommy. You're really rubbing that Woody hard aren't you? LOL!

    you can have bradely cooper, and i'll take charlie hunnam. deal? DEAL.

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  24. I am thinking, if you could combine the "rubbing Woody" and the always, ALWAYS yummy Bradley Cooper...that would be the Best. Fucking. Post. EVER.

    Make it happen!

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  25. Do I love you for referencing Woody and Cooper in one blog post?

    Yes. Yes, I do.

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  26. Yum is right. Facebook unfriending, nice!

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  27. Woo-hoo! I didn't know he was going to be in that movie. *swoon*

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  28. It really is too bad Owen's name isn't Graham.

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  29. Woody jokes never get old. Glad all the rubbing paid off.

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  30. Good GOD that man is beautiful.

    I'm sorry. Did you write something?

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  31. I am cracking up at the thought of the crazy almost ran you over lady finding out you unfriended her b/c she almost killed you.

    That thought makes me laugh. How will she explain that to herself??

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  32. You've got good taste. In a whole wide range of things.

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  33. It is possible I have my own boo boo of stomping on my shin right now. Stomping might be overstating the act of leaning forcefully into the minivan of doucebaggery to grasp a flaiing child and pulling her out to show her who was boss. Yeah, I am boss when blood is running down my leg inside my lawyer pants. Yeah.

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  34. too bad that isn't owen's name. love the a-hole unfriending bit. i want a kindle.

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  35. i can't decide which topic i like best in all of this. the owen spidey bedding is awesome, but i'm still giggling over you rubbing the woody....sticker. ha ha. omg. i might have peed my pants over that one. and the hotness at the end? mmmmmm

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  36. Ok this post was hysterical!! The Woody jokes have been touched on **ahem** Bea's "boo boo of stomping" was too cute! And I *loved* the facebook story!!

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  37. Love it! My favorite part "rubbing that woody hard" - hilarious! Oh, and great eye candy! That picture was the only reason I went to see the A Team in the theatre! ;)

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  38. Of course after such a shitty week you deserve a little of Jamie Fraser's woody.

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  39. Just when I think I couldn't love your blog anymore...

    You rub a woody (vigorously!), talk about Outlander, and display some yummy yummy manflesh.

    You are truly an inspiration to us all. :)

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  40. I LOVE my Goo Gone. Love it. I have a bottle for upstairs and a bottle for downstairs, and I find that with two kids I use it a surprisingly often amount. As for the car windows, I have stickers all over the back windows, too, but never thought to use my preciuos Goo Gone. As long as it doesn't harm the tinting film!

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  41. Well, that made my morning.

    Those stickers. Those fucking stickers.

    I have banned food from my car because I'm fear slugs will grow in the floorboards. Or mushrooms.

    The stickers are next. Especially Woody.

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  42. I love your FB de-friending of the Ass.Hole! I have done this myself to a few folks. It feels so super awesome.
    Hot men. I just never tire of them.

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  43. Your little daughter is a girl after my own heart. I have so many "boo boos of stomping" that I've lost count.

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  44. Hahahaha...I am glad I am not the only one who can no longer see out my back windows!

    My guy is a contractor and Lila is often overheard saying "Daddy sure has some big wood in his truck!"

    hahahahahahaha!

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  45. Hahahaha...I am glad I am not the only one who can no longer see out my back windows!

    My guy is a contractor and Lila is often overheard saying "Daddy sure has some big wood in his truck!"

    hahahahahahaha!

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  46. You are SO much nicer than I am about stickers on the windows. Once my oldest got the bright idea of creating a collage on her window while we were on a road trip and I really gave her hell once I had a chance to pull over at a truck stop in Iowa.

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