Monday, January 24, 2011

Shit Uncle Rusty Has Said

The first time I ever laid eyes on him.  The second day of Owen's life.  After tucking Owen's liver and intestines back down where they belong. Wearing a chocolate brown suit, with a shrug of his shoulder;

"I do this every day."

To which I replied, after failing to locate a blunt object with which to beat the God complex out of him;

"Well.  I.  Don't."

*******

After a couple weeks in the ICU.  After I felt confident that I'd be taking my sickly, but alive baby home, eventually.   Hovering over his isolette with my mother in law and sister in law;

"I think he has a moderate chance."

*******

Getting the dreaded middle of the night phone call from the ICU.  Making the mad dash to the hospital to say goodbye to the child I'd never get to know;

"He's going where no baby has gone before."

Unchartered waters. Maybe heart lung transplant.  Lots of other surreal crap no mother ever wants to hear.

*******

Post-op: emergency thoracotomy performed in ICU, describing weeks old baby's lungs;

"A cross between tissue paper and swiss cheese.  We just wait and see if they'll heal."

*******

Pre-op:  Left nephrectomy. Nissen Fundoplication. G-tube placement.  Circumcision.

Waiting patiently for Owen to be taken to surgical suite.  Waiting far too long.

Rusty appears, obviously frustrated and annoyed, explaining that there was a scheduling mix up and that;

"Someone doesn't know what the fuck they are doing."

*******

Post-op: having removed vital organ, rearranged anatomy of stomach, placed device through which nutrition will be delivered to baby, and circumcising baby;  first words to parents of baby;

"His Penis looks GREAT!"

*******

A Monday.  A week after above procedure. 

Rusty:  "I think you can take him home on Friday."

Me:  "Holy shit!!  No fucking way!!"

So on and so forth as Rusty shook his head and laughed.

*******

Almost two years old, post MRI showing that Owen's fundoplication had come unwrapped allowing all stomach contents to be expelled from his body, thus starving him;

"This has never happened to me before."

Much restraint required to not come back at him with; "That's what HE said."

*******

At a clinic appointment, when Owen was around three years old;

"I wasn't sure he'd survive his first winter."

Also?

"I wasn't sure you're marriage would survive this."

*******

Maybe at the same clinic appoinment?

Rusty:  "I'm so sorry about his hearing.  I just wish there was something we could have done to prevent it."

Me:  "Psssshhhh."

*******

Another clinic visit, four years old,

"Looks like he's going to grow up, get a job, and pay taxes."

*******

Today. 

Showing Owen his x-ray results:


"A normal size set of lungs.  A normal looking heart. You don't need me for anything.  If you want, I can see you again in two years."

*******

I want.  I most definitely want.

32 comments:

  1. So he has a 'new' heart and lungs? Does he take tons of medicine to keep his body from rejecting?

    Also, I like "Someone doesn't know what the fuck they are doing."

    My favorite line Uncle Rusty has said.

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  2. He didn't need the heart lung transplant. Thank fuck!!

    Yes. I officially fell in love when Rusty dropped the f-bomb.

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  3. Is Uncle Rusty cute? just wondering. Love that picture of he and Owen.

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  4. Uncle Rusty is one in a million, huh?


    Much like Owen.

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  5. I think I want an Uncle Rusty, too!!!

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  6. Oh I love Uncle Rusty but not as much as you do I'm sure.

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  7. Uncle Rusty rocks!

    Found you through Mrs Woog's blogroll and you better believe I will be back ;)

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  8. Misty eyed through this one, Especially "you don't need me for anything."

    Music to a mama's ears.

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  9. I'm sure Uncle Rusty would love to see Owen in 2 years too

    Owen rocks

    xoxoxo

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  10. LMAO at Uncle Rusty! It is okay that he is "slightly" narcissistic, the world has Owen in it!!!!

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  11. Hope Owen had a fun day. He's like a survivor rock star at that place. xo

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  12. I can't imagine what you went through but holy shit Uncle Rusty is a cool man.

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  13. Every one of these kids needs an Uncle Rusty. Way to be "normal" now, Owen! :) And yes, set that appointment up for 2013 and every 2 years after that.

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  14. You, Owen and Uncle Rusty have me bawling over here. For some reason I had no idea Owen had such a rough start. I mean, I knew it was hard, but somehow I missed how near to not coming home he was. So glad Uncle Rusty know what the fuck he is doing!

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  15. Must've been sweet to hear that he's not really needed anymore (only wanted).

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  16. The "That's what he said" remark? I somehow think Uncle Rusty might have gotten a kick out of it.

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  17. I know I'm supposed to read this and think, "What an awesome doctor!" And I do. But the tears in my eyes aren't for him - they're for your little boy. God, he's been through a lot. What a great kid. Meant to be here. Meant to touch lives and do great things.

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  18. Well, that right there is a bond that can't be broken. Doctors that swear about other people? And keep Owen around? Yes, please!

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  19. Uncle Rusty is one of those doctors you want to send a card to on your kid birthday. He should get to celebrate, too.

    Can you send him down here now that he's fixed your kid? Maybe he can tell us why LG doesn't grow.

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  20. How cool that you have an Uncle Rusty! What guy wouldn't want to hear that his penis looks great?!?

    When Owen gets older, I'm sure he'll thank Uncle Rusty for his great looking penis. ;)

    On a more serious note, what a blessing to hear those words..."if you WANT, you can see me again in two years." Great news!

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  21. This post almost made me get all weepy and shit. I said almost. Keep trying, I'm tougher than I look.

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  22. Well swiss cheese lungs, you know, that's hard core.

    Uncle Rusty is kick ass.

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  23. I can say with absolute certainty that no doctor has dropped the f-bomb in front of me. I'm sure he never used it until he met you.

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  24. Again, heart is melting. Of course you want. :-)

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  25. Fucking doctors. Gotta love 'em. God complexes and all. What you (and Owen) have been through is truly amazing...

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