She's Writing A Novel And I Can't Even Come Up With A Decent Post Title.

*******


I 'met' Ash a couple years ago now I guess?  Back when I had the old blog, and she had her old blog.

She's very smart and funny and is a good enough writer that I even read her posts about politics.  And everyone knows;  politics makes me stabby.

Anyway.  She's tits deep in NaNoWriMo (like a crack head) and asked if I would guest post on her blog.  I've been a little lazybusy lately, so I just let her pull something from the old blog.

So go on over to Ash's place and check it out.

Please ignore all the nice stuff she says in the beginning there...*shudder*.


*******

I heard a voice in the wee hours of the morning one day last week.

Owen was in his room arranging his DVD collection.  And talking to himself about each one.

He's nuts about his DVD's.  No.  Obssessed.  We are considering an intervention.

He knew, when he saw me come out of my room, I was NOT going to be happy about his nocturnal activity.

I started signing to him (no hearing aids at night right?);

"Put DVD away.  Now.  Not play time.  Sleep time.  Late. Dark outside..."

He cuts me off, yelling at me and defiantly slapping his hands over his eyes;

"I.  Don't.  Want. To.  HEAR It!"

*******

Sunday morning.  Bea has had her bath and is playing in the playroom.  Owen is IN the bathtub.

Owen: "Bea!"

Bea: "Yeah?"

Me:  "Bea. He's in the tub.  No hearing aids.  He can't hear you.  Go see what he wants."

Bea:  playplayplay.

Owen:  "BEA!!"

Bea:  "Yeah?"

Me:  "Really Sweetie.  He can't hear you. Would you just go and see what he wants?"

Bea:  playplayplayplayplay

Owen:  "BEA!!  Please come here!  I need to tell you something!!"

Bea:  playplayplayplayplayplay

Me:  "Bea.  Go see what your brother wants.  It is not nice to ignore him like this."

Bea goes into bathroom and waits for her message from Owen.

Owen:  "I just want to tell you something."

Bea:  "Oh-kay!!"

Owen:  "I just wanting to tell you to leave me alone when I take a bath all right?"

*******

Epic failure of a morning;

Owen snarky and snapping at everyone for no obvious reason.

He plays with 'Pick Up Sticks' for 5 seconds and starts putting them away.  Bea asks if she can use them;

"I don't. Want. To. Share!"

I calmly tell him to go to his room for not being nice.  He calmly trudges upstairs and once he gets to his room lets loose;

"I'm! Screaming! My! Head!! Off!!!!!

No shit kid.  We're not Deaf down here. We can hear you.

Peckerhead.

*******

In bed Friday night.  Al telling me that he needs to call his folks who Winter in Florida and won't be home until just before Christmas.

"Yeah.  I have to wish them a Happy Anniversary."

"Yeah.  You totally should."

"Yeah, I guess it was their 50th or some shit?"

"What?  Whatthefuck??  Their 50th and nobody did anything special?  We're the biggest ass holes ever.  What the fuck!!?  Please tell me somebody is planning something special.  I'd be so pissed if I were them.  That's a big fucking deal, 50 years with the same fucking person.  At least a nice dinner or something. That's it. We're planning a surprise something for when they get home for Christmas. Ass holes.  We're such ass holes."

Right?

We totally deserve a card like this from them;

Right?

I forget how I stumbled on this Etsy seller.  If funny/wrong/crude tickles your fancy, you'll love this chick.

I so wish I had someone to send this one to;

And for all of you, this;

Happy Thanksgiving All.  Eat til you shit your pants.

*******

See Keely at UnMom for more random.