Thursday, October 21, 2010

With Little Rest For The Needed

You know those crazy motherfuckers who thrive on being needed? 

I'm not one of them.

But as wife/mother/nurse, I've backed myself into one hell of a needed corner.

I work Mondays and Tuesdays, from 3pm til 11pm, on a long term unit of a nursing home with 42 residents with varying levels of dementia and need.  An ideal shift has us staffed with two nurses and four nurses aides.  Ideal happens not very often and the four aides is usually three.  Which means I'm needed to fill the gap.

So I'm needed to give medication to 21 needy old people.  For pain, anxiety, blood pressure, poop.  And then there is the needing to go to the bathroom, to go to Bingo, to go to bed.

They don't take turns needing things.  They tend to need me all at once.  And after living through numerous decades, you'd think some would have cultivated some much needed patience;  you'd be wrong.

I run from need to need stopping only to answer the phone, the fax machine, the front door (because some higher up thought the buzzer needed to be at our nurse's station).

I need to take my Benadryl around 10:30 so when I get home at midnight I'm nice and sleepy;  I need to snag as much sleep as I can, the kids need me up and raring to go at 6:30.

Wednesdays are my worst, I'm extra tired, and cranky, and not wanting to be needed.


Owen needs his bologna and cheese with mustard on rye for breakfast.  He needs help finding an appropriate game on the computer.  He needs me to translate the words coming from Bea's mouth;

"What she say?  Can't hear her."

"Bea, you know you have to talk loud and in Owen's face right?"

"Because he is Deaf.  Like my friend Jack.  You know my friend Jack Owen?  He is a girl sometimes.  He doesn't go to school because if he's not a girl, then he's a squirrel. Squirrels don't go to school.  Unless they're Hearing.  But Jack is Deaf, so he goes to a Deaf squirrel school."

"What she say?"

"Mommy!!  I need boogie medicine!!!"

I need to clean the puddle of boogers off the floor first.  And then proceed to laugh my ass off at the Something About Mary With Hair Gel Scene  she is reenacting as she'd wiped her nose upwards resulting in her hair standing straight up.

With Owen loaded on the bus, I really need to clean the house and have a shower, but sick little girl needs to snuggle.  And to use me as a tissue.  For the next six hours.

Turns out, Bea needs another dose of boogie medicine, which induces much needed nap, which sends me up to my bed for much needed nap.  (I didn't need the dirty dream about my boyfriend, but it didn't hurt.)

I'm needed the second I awake, clothes need to be thrown in laundry, dinner needs to get going, house needs to be picked up, the fucking dog needs to be under my feet with every step I take.

Dinner, bath, and bedtime needs are met.  Desperately needed shower is finally attained.  And I'm off to friend's house to babysit.

We need each other.  Tit for childcare tat.

Her delicious seven month old nugget needs to be walked and rocked to sleep, which is kind of nice in that "Oh babies are so sweet but I'm so glad I don't have to do this every fucking day" sort of way.

Home again at midnight, wondering if fucking dog has received her dose of insulin she needs so she won't piss all over the house.  Awake again at 6:30 with need jabbing me in the thigh.

Two minutes later;  hit the ground running meeting morning needs of children again.

But on Thursdays, Bea goes to preschool, and I get to bask in two whole magical hours of not being needed.

There is a Panera right where I need one.  With free wifi that I need.  And great coffee. 

And nobody that needs me.

Now.  With two uninterrupted hours on my hands, I just need something to fucking blog about.


  1. Hi found ya through Emp.

    And I don't think you're really in Djibouti or you wouldn't have any bologna available. (grin)

    We lived there for three months and you really want to be wherever you are, but not there. That's for sure.

  2. Ha!!! I picked Djibouti 'cause it's fun to say. Not sure I even know where the fuck it is!!

  3. I don't know why I chose a caregiving profession either. Definitely not in it for the needed-to-be-needed thing.

    Right now I need to do freaking homework.

    Great post. xo

  4. Panera is a little piece of heaven on earth. Especially when you have a bowl of their mac and cheese in front of you. It's extra delicious because you didn't have to make it first.

    Oldsters don't bother with patience 'cause they don't have much time left, theoretically. At least that's what my great-grandmother used to say.

    Sorry for the sick kid - I've got one of those in my house today. I was rooting for her temp to stay down so I could send her back tomorrow but damned if it didn't go back up again this afternoon. At least mine isn't using me as a tissue - no Niagara Falls nostrils around here (yet *fervently knocking wood*). She's been pretty lowkey with her nose buried in Harriet the Spy for a good part of the afternoon. Whew.

  5. And this is why I'm an accountant. Nobody "needs" me, and most of the time they don't "want" me, either.

    Glad to hear that you eeked out a few hours for yourself.

  6. Being needed is never as rewarding as being wanted.

  7. It sounds like you're not hurting for blogging material!

  8. I'm glad you got to take two hours for yourself. I need to start demanding that before I go mad.

    There is a Panera opening up a few miles from Zany Casa..never been. Now I think I'll have to check it out.

  9. girl, that is a LOT of needing! yeesh! my life is pretty easy in comparison!

    and may you get more than two need-free hours soon, and on a regular basis!

  10. There is a Panera (Around here it's called St Louis Bread Co because this is where it all started, yeah, I was enjoying that stuff long before you ever heard of the place! Hah!)....anyway, it's a town over but it's basically a pay what you want to pay place. They give you a suggested price but you don't have to pay the suggested price. You can pay as much or as little (or even nothing) as you want!

    Anyway, I totally LOVE St Louis Bread Co! I signed up for their "MyPanera" card and already have 2 sweet treats loaded on it! I'm going there this weekend to collect! Bonus, there is a starbucks next door and I have a gift card that is totally burning a hole in my pocket!

    Also, are there kids who wear both a hearing aid and a cochlear? Because today I saw a kid who appeared to have both on his left ear (Didn't see his right)

  11. This NEEDS to be tweeted. Do you still not have a sharing button at the bottom? Must I go on to twitter and shout your post from the rooftops myself? Goddamn it, yes.

    ps - I just love reading posts about the nitty gritty shit others go through day-to-day. Thank god I don't have a dog.

  12. I love Panera and always forget it's there when I need some time to myself.

    You rock, by the way.

  13. The Deaf Squirrel Named Jack who is not a Girl cracks me up.

    You had a sex dream about our boyfriend? How'd you do that?

  14. Hey Chalupa,

    As soon you set up your account so I can respond to you via email I'll put the fucking Twatter thing up ok??


  15. Rebecca, the implant is right under the disc that you see on the person's skull, the processor is the thing behind the ear.

  16. After this week, I NEED my husband home so Sprite can not need me. He gets home Saturday. I'll hitch a flight to Djibouti and meet you at Panera for a drink, kay?

  17. Reasons why I am an auditor/investigator by day and a mountaineer/rock climber by night (or any day that I can get away from work). I don't do neediness.

    Sadly, my beagle suffered greatly from this lack of attention until I taught the cat how to pet her.

    See? A couple hours of downtime is flat dangerous.

  18. My hips and ass thank you, the mac and cheese was killer... now when I go to WW on Monday to weigh in I will be NEEDING a large glass of wine to deal with the weight gain and with that amount of cheesy goodness there is going to be without a doubt, weight gain. I will keep you posted.

  19. When are they going to start serving effing alcohol at Panera? That's really all I want to know! :)
    PS- All four of my grandparents ended up in nursing homes. I thank god for people like you.

  20. The being needed by 2 kids and a husband is way more than enough. Add old people and I would for sure need medication.

  21. i just said not 30 mins ago- i am not a napkin- go wipe your mouth on one. i think i am going to call the monkeys the needers!

  22. What the fuck is up with the dog stuck to your feet thing? I swear she trips me in the hopes I'll apologize and pet her. But I won't, the wretched creature. She is old, probably should live in a nursing home. Needs DES so she won't pee but unfailingly barfs after eating revolting kid stuff like the kinesio tape we use on Hannah's hand or a used Kleeenex. Nice! Maybe I can send her to deaf girl squirrel school.

  23. And I thought I was needed... at least I get some naptime breaks most days.

  24. Time. to. think. ahhhh......

  25. Wow. Lots of Panera fans.

    Yeah, I'll bet you chose that caregiver profession before you had kids.

    I would have paid money to see you translate Bea's story...ha!

  26. As a single mom of three with three belligerent dachshunds, a 3-legged Australian Shepherd and a manic Bengal cat, I gape in disbelief at people who ask if I'm lonely because I'm single. What I'm saying is, I feel ya on the alone time.

  27. I love being alone in panera! You have a lot of neediness in your life.

  28. Yep, it stinks to be needed ALL THE TIME. I don't know how you manage dealing with neediness at home and at work.

  29. When kids are passed 15 yo, they don't anything but your credit card. That's my experience. Nice to see that they manage get around by them selves (with my money) >:)

    Cold As Heaven

  30. When kids are passed 15 yo, they don't anything but your credit card. That's my experience. Nice to see that they manage get around by them selves (with my money) >:)

    Cold As Heaven

  31. I don't like being needed either and my life isn't nearly as hectic as yours. I drowned my sorrows in some delicious Panera about an hour ago.

  32. Sigh** sounds like my life...without the old people though.
    & Panera...droll... no panera here.
    Gosh I have missed reading your posts... off to add you to my sidebar.

  33. I'm NEEDING a fucking nap! And that was by the time I finished the third line.

    You are clearly Superwoman and I MUST clone you!

    Let not talk about blog stuff, okay? I'm BLOGGED OUT!

  34. Nurses are my heroes. Nurses who work with old people even more so. You are awesome.

  35. great post as always. i need boogie medecine, too. to learn how to boogie again. i am so lame.

  36. I'm on the board of the local Alzheimer's Association, so kudos to you for doing what you do and w/ such patience. I also don't know how you manage to juggle it all. This post makes me feel like I need to take a Benadryl!

    You are phenomenal!

  37. Just needed to tell you I enjoyed your post.

    Happy Weekend - hope you get a break!

  38. I feel like I'm missing out...we don't have a Panera. We have a Great Harvest, but Panera has a way cooler website. :)

    Sounds more like you need a margarita and a massage then a coffee and some blog time!

  39. Mrs Woog subscribed you an extra hour off, a strong vodka tonic and other sex dream. OK? And you can a prescription repeat. xo

  40. You know I love your every word but today all I heard was, "blah, blah, blah, blah because then you said, "Two hours of uninterrupted (me) time." or something like that. I can't be expected to quote word for word while I'm in this dreamy state.

  41. So see you Thursday? When I'm going to need an enema and foot rub? Thanks!

  42. No Panera in our area, but I'm pretty sure the folks at Barnes & Noble are tired of my lingering ass. I even carry an empty B&N bag with me so I look like I bought my right to squat.

    Don't mess with a mom and her only few hours of peace in a week. I wish we lived closer. I'd totally love to share a yummy mac and cheese. I'd even sneak in one of those cute 4-packs of wine. And only take one for myself.


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