Tuesday, October 26, 2010

No No No No Yes No No Yes, NO. NO. YES!!! That's A Kick Ass Header!



I knew I would be engaging in a battle of wills with Owen about the computer since I moved it to the playroom.  The rule is that if he sheds one single tear about what he is doing on it, or about giving his sister a turn, the computer would be off for the remainder of the day.

On Sunday, he threw a wall eyed hissy fit of epic proportions, with screaming, flailing, and throwing things.

No computer until Wednesday.

I'm no dummy.  He'll get up in the wee hours and log himself on.

So I changed the password.

To 'asshole'.


I had the dumbest dream the other night:

I was in a romantically lit room, with several handsome man standing around.  A couple ex boyfriends, a couple hot actors, cute guy from work, and Al.

I appraised them all before I made my selection; sort of like this:


But I got to do stuff with them.

And I picked Al.

What the fuck??


The kids have a system of letting me know who is in their good graces and who is not.  One is either 'Circle' if you're on the good list, or 'Check'  if you're on the shit list.

They'll randomly march up to me and tell me which one I am.  I'm usually check.

Bea and Owen were playing quietly upstairs.  Bea comes down without Owen.

"What is Owen doing up there?"

"He's just playing."

I head up the stairs and I hear Owen's little muffled voice:

"Bea check Sweetie.  Why she check?  Because she lock me in the closet."

She'd locked him in the closet.


Really cute sweet totally out to lunch dementia lady at work.  Always smiling, telling everyone how pretty they are, complimenting hair and clothes.  Most pleasantly confused.

I heard her swear yesterday.  I was shocked.  She never swears.

I was just outside her room and I heard;


I investigated, wondering what had induced the cursing.

She'd dropped her Bible.


Like my new header?  And button?

Sherri made them.  Go visit her.  She's really cool.  Like she used to be in a band and everything cool.

Sherri has been faithfully reading and commenting here (and on the old blog) for ever.  Ok fine, a couple years, but in blog years, that is for ever.

Faithful readers and commenters are the bread and butter of this blogging hobby.  Not much fun without them.

I got an email from a reader.  She's been reading here, and myself and some other bloggers have inspired her to start her own.

I love the name of her blog:

Don't Make It Like I'm Dumb.

Please do check her out give her some love.  She doesn't suck.


Almost forgot! 

The elephant.  I need to explain the elephant in the header and also the one that I put in my Swap package.

Later this week.


ETA:  Fixed the links for my sister Sherri.  She was kind enough to point out what a dumbass I am as the link to her header site was wrong.


More Random At UnMom


  1. Al? No offense to him, but you picked Al? Hmmm. Madeline Kahn probably would not have, you're suggesting?

    Do all younger siblings exist to try to kill their older siblings? I'm thinking little o and Bea have more than cute blondness in common.

  2. You're right. Faithful readers are key. I've been worrying today about some I've lost. I'm not sure if it was the blasphemy, the abundance of poo and toilets or just general suckiness.

  3. I'm not sure of the syntax of this check/circle thing. I love your new header...so Sherri circle?

    I really want to know why the elephant tulips too...

  4. You already know I love the header, and you also gotta know how excited I was to get you in my in box. Yes, it's the little things that make my day...suck it.

  5. Love the check vs. circle. I will be dishing them out mentally to everyone I know. This should be required reading so they know what I am talking about when I give someone the stink eye and say "Check, Asshole."

    On a personal note, thanks so very much for the shoutout. I am humbled and flattered and giddy.

  6. I LOVE the new header. Fantastic.

  7. tulpen, i really like your bad words. and your awesome new header. my knee jerk reaction was to look for a dropping from the elephant, though - i keep glancing at the first "d" to see if something has fallen there.

  8. your new look is fucking awesome. I'm grabbing your butt(on) and putting it on my blog. Sherri is amazing. She is definitely CIRCLE.

    Also, any kid of yours should know the password is asshole!!

  9. 2 years *is* forever in blogging time. I love the new header.

    The circle/check thing is funny. My son pecks us on the arm with his nose. Odd pecks are bad and even are good. The higher the number of pecks the more intense the rating.

  10. but... but... but... Madeline is basing it all on what seems to be size... what about Maria Muldaur's song, 'It Ain't The Meat (It's The Motion)'...????


    I loved the video... I would probably cuss if I dropped a Bible...


  11. Love the new header! :)
    My grandma, who was the sweetest, kindest, gentlest person on the planet, dropped the eff bomb one time when I was visiting her at the nursing home. I was shocked but something told me it hardly the first time that had happened. I love it when cute old ladies swear.

  12. I would change the password to that and Son would totally guess it. Poor Owen! Definitely Bea Check. Happy Tuesday!

  13. Love the new header!

    Now about this swap thing... how does one get on the 'list' or would that be a Studio 54 kind of exclusive?

  14. Great new header! Really funny random thoughts too!

  15. Love the header... regarding the love/hate relationship with the computer, my daughter has the same. I can't get her off of it but I'm waiting for the day that she throws it through the wall because she didn't win some card game.

  16. I want to know if I am circle or check...

    The password on the home computer is some version of 'benicetoyermother'



    and go al!!!!!

    and that lady should drop the bible more often! lol

  18. hey! no fair, you can't leave us with a cliffhanger like that

  19. LMAO on the "asshole" as your new password for the computer. It's hilarious! *giggles*

  20. I'm totally changing my password to Asshole!

  21. True commitment (or guilt) is when you can't even cheat in a dream.

    Header looks fantastic!

  22. dude, thanks so much for the shout out and thanks to all who made nice comments on here about your new header. and...um, not complaining here, but so you know - the link on my name goes to the don't make it like i'm dumb blog. which looks like it's going to be great, by the way.


    that's my header blog address above if anyone is interested in a header, or you can always find me here
    http://leclaw.blogspot.com/ .

    shameless self-promotion done.
    does that mean i get a check now?

    i feel like an ass.

  23. totes love the header.
    there's too much good going on here. Can we teach Bea to lock my big kid in the closet? Please?

    And I have a feeling I'd LOVE the old biddies at your place.

  24. That is definitely a kick ass header.
    And now I need to see History of the World again..

  25. That is definitely a kick ass header.
    And now I need to see History of the World again..

  26. Always love your randomness.

    Wonder what TheClaw could do for me.

    I'll go see.

    And I'll go visit your new bloggy friend.
    B/C you have #awesomestandards and all.

    I know it'll be so cool.

  27. I love your kick ass header, and your kick ass blog! And I'm going to use your computer strategy next time I'm mad at my husband...



  28. Password changing is brilliant. Although I suppose that earned you a check.

  29. Love the header! Change is always refreshing.

    And you picked Al because you're hard-core, undercover romantic. Don't even try to deny it.

  30. There's nothing worse in a dream than doing the right thing. I do the right thing in all of my waking hours. At night I should get to have some pretend fun.

    I give that dream a check.

  31. Oh Bea! She is hilarious. And all the old ladies at your work? I love them. My mother in law was all religious and bible toting...she also swore better than anyone I ever met. She could string the insults together like none other. I miss that lady.

    love the header and will check out your girl.

  32. Hey you give good header or maybe Sheri does. LOL

  33. Madeline Kahn was THE AWESOME.

    Your new header totally kicks ass.

    I don't know what I love more... that Owen would get up in the middle of the night to use the computer, or that you changed the password to 'asshole'.

  34. I love that you changed the password, I loved that his sister locked him in the closet ( a daily occurance at my house -- causing me to say "come out of the closet" and laugh maniacally) and I LOVE that the old lady dropped her Bible and swore! Best! Thanks for reading my blog and commenting, as well!!

  35. The header is awesome, as is the circle/check rating system.

    So happy to hear that I'm not the only one changing the computer password and freeing kids from locked rooms. We just gotta stay one step ahead, right?

  36. So you're gonna make everyone wait on the elephant part?? Eek!

    And I would be freaking out about the "locked in the closet" part because I can't hear and would have walked past the poor kid fifty times while he screamed, "I'm in HERE Mommy!" ha ha

  37. Hysterical! Loved it!! And I'm glad my kids aren't the only ones who lock each other in closets or bathrooms. =)

  38. Love the header (and curious to hear why the elephant), love the circle/check rating, love the cursing bible thumper/dropper, love how I can come here and get my dose of swearing/laughs.


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