Monday, September 6, 2010
Oops I Crapped My Pants, And Then I Had A Rainbowgasm.
On this official last day of Summer, Al and I took the kids on their first and last and only trip to the beach.
The beach which is about 9 minutes from our house. We suck.
The weather was perfect, we prepared and packed and schlepped and spent three lovely hours playing in the surf and sand.
Al and I both took turns being buried.
A couple nice ladies in their 60's were next to us, watching with smiley faces.
After I emerged from my pile of sand, one of them pointed out to me that;
"You're gonna have a lot of sand up your butt."
"It's not my butt I'm worried about."
Man, my junk was full of sand.
Besides the fresh air, salt water, laughing children, and lovely scenery, the best thing about a day at the beach is the people watching.
I love checking out bodies. Big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones. The variety of shapes and sizes and the various levels of near nudity are all pleasing to my eye.
I'll ogle anyone. And I think Al knows how lucky he is, that if someone is ogle worthy, I let him know:
"Check out the sweet rack on that chick."
"Look at those biscuits."
"Thong!! She's wearing a thong!!"
Yep. If you're hot and strutting the beach, you know you're being looked at. And I'm happy to look.
I need help settling an argument 13 years in the making.
Do you crap your pants?
No. Really. Do you sometimes; "Take a gamble and lose?" And have to run home and change your soiled skivvies?
Didn't think so.
According to a certain person, whom I may or may not be married to, EVERYONE does it once in a while. Like farting or masturbating, you may deny it, but everyone knows you really do it.
You don't right?
That's what I thought.
I'll have what this guy is having.
Actually. I think I had A LOT of what he's having in college.
I wasn't gonna link up 'cause it is Monday, but my sister did, so there.
More random at UnMom (on Tuesday that is).