Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Hey Finch, Is That A Harry Potter Wand In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To Sell Me A Phone?


We've been having fires in our little fire pit in the yard.

Al got some really long sticks and pointed up their ends for s'mores. Owen sucked at toasting marshmallows. Setting the things on fire was way more fun.

Then he realized that just lighting the stick on fire is fun.

He enjoyed some closely monitored pyromania for the afternoon, yelling "Harry Potter!!!" as he waved his smoking stick at the bushes.

Me yelling/signing;

"Careful careful careful!!"

No screaming burnt children. Yay us.

The next morning, Owen showed me a boo boo on his arm.

A really good burn is what it was. It must have hurt like a fucker.

This kid, who is usually a total pussy about the slightest bump or bruise, endured what must have been a pretty painful injury in silence, lest he lose his fire sword privileges.

Oh yeah, we'll let him play in the fire again.

No really, we will.


So I got Owen's quarterly progress report yesterday.

His teacher had nothing but good things to say about him;


He definately likes reading more than math.

He definately is getting the hang of using an interpreter.

His teacher definately needs to hit spell check before sending me another report.

If the kid weren't Deaf, I'd definitely consider fucking homeschooling him.


This is one of my favorite Owen pictures. Taken four summers ago.
Al HATES it. He won't look at it.

I think I had to tell him that I destroyed it forever.

Last week.

Grounds for divorce perhaps?


Dearest Best Buy Mobile Phone Guy,

You people are just the best you know that?

Like a few months ago, when I brought in a digital photo frame I'd gotten for Christmas but never even took out of the box. Even though it was WAY PAST the 30 day exchange period, and even though I had no receipt, you let me swap it out for a much needed external hard drive.

And today, you greet me and my broken purple phone and promise to do whatever you can for me. Oh, if you only knew what went through my mind as I took in your scruffy face and inhaled your salt water and bubble gum scent; it had nothing to do with my phone sweetie.

But help me you did. Even though Al failed to get me the protection plan and my phone wasn't eligible for upgrade yet. You went ahead and let me steal Al's upgrade.

How nice of you! And you even gave me this awesome new toy;

For FREE. Ok, maybe our cell phone bill will be a wee bit higher from now on. I pay the bill. Al never needs to know.
Doesn't matter if he gets pissed anyway, he's divorcing me over the gender bending pics of his son I've posted.
So, cute mobile phone guy, can I call you Finch?

You like Jason Mraz?


More Random and hopefully more wrongness at UnMom


  1. LOL I love the whole section about your son. It..it's just great!

  2. Man, I would love to have a really nellie son.

    When I was pregnant with The Pea (a girl for those of you who don't know me), the top name on my Boy list was "Capote."

  3. Damn. Is that a droid?

    Has Al seen the fairy wing video??

  4. I have a very similar picture of Hayden dressed just like Owen. Oh, it will haunt him. ;)

  5. I hate that word. I never use it because I cannot spell it right the first time. . .ever. I have a big vocabulary due to the fact that I choose words I can spell over those I cannot! I hope I don't have any errors on this post.

    I am glad you are letting Owen play at the fire pit again.


  6. Just a word to the wise - if you buy metal "toasting forks" thinking "hey, these'll be safer than sticks for toasting marshmallows in the fire" you will be wrong. Only difference is the injury is more of a brand than a burn. (Fortunately, on myself, not my kid. She whacked me with a red-hot toasting fork in the process of trying to show off her perfectly toasted marshmallow.) I have the weirdest, line-y scar now on my arm.

    Also? I absolutely cannot stand it when educators make spelling and/or grammar mistakes. I threw up a little bit in my mouth reading what Owen's teacher wrote. I also came down with the vapors when my kid's teacher sent home a note back in preschool saying "Next time your here...." GAH! Just typing that wigs me out!

    *deep breath* Sorry, I can't help it. I majored in English and Textual Studies and I'm a huge word nerd.

    (I flip out when I go back over an older post I've had up on my blog and discover a typo or inadvertent grammatical error. I wind up fixing and reposting things allllll the time!)

  7. All boys need to play with fire. It's their primal instinct. If not that, then they end up flinging poo.

  8. I like playing with fire. Flaming sticks sounds like a fun way to spend the evening.

    And I can never remember how to spell certain words but I always spell check if it's an official work thang.

  9. clearly Al needs to visit our house to understand that it's totally fine for boys to play dress up. particularly with Momma's thongs and bras on their heads. and nothing else on. "dancing Mekked!"



  10. the harry potter fire/stick thing made me snicker.

    and all that definitely stuff, too! you are too much.

  11. Woo hoo for playing with fire! Does this mean I can send you sparklers? :)

    NICE new toy. I need an upgrade too.

  12. Good Lord, Almighty! You've just got me smilin' all over the place today. Cute gender bending pics with great potential to embarrass father and son, good customer service (who does that anymore?) and Jason. I'm so glad I took a little work break to stop by and say hello. You've made my day. ......I suppose that ruins yours! HA!

  13. Owen is a badass. Burns are the worst, he sucked it up like a champ for the sake of keeping the injury from you. Wait, that's not necessarily a good thing.

    Who doesn't love a tu-tu? Now if he could run in heels, he'd be the total package. Definately.

  14. Hehehehe...you just make me smile. The whole "burning" story...the phone guy (hey, I'm getting an iPhone 4!!!), all of it. I should start checking your blog earlier in the day so it'll help me to have a good day, instead of just the few hours I have until sleeptime.

  15. I like JM- I also have a zipper up my ass.

    I just watched an LAink clip last night on Hula of him getting a 'Be Love' tatoo.

  16. w. got in my shoe closet today, which is pretty butch really, but he went straight for my new pumps and I drew the line there. i let him wear my old beat up ones instead.

  17. I have photos of a certain 17 year old boy who loved to play pretty pretty princess with his sis after his dad left for work. I thought about adding a couple of those shots to his grad video slideshow, but am saving them for the wedding someday.

  18. LOVE the randomness. I feel like doing that now..

  19. we also have a little fire pit in the back yard and do the smore thing (and burn stuff). the kids love burning sticks or throwing stuff in the fire. my boy also can't roast marshmallows--he barely lets them near the fire and then says they're done.
    said boy (now 10) also played dress up when he was younger. and to this day he still tries on his sister's (she's 13) heals if they're laying on the floor.

  20. Gack, "definately" is one of my biggest pet peeves!!! A close second = there/their/they're.

  21. Camping as a child was always fun - the peeing in the bushes, the eating half-cooked fish we caught out of the lake, sleeping on rocks that poked our backs all night. But mostly the burning of the roasting sticks and anything else we could get our grubby little fish-scaled hands on!

  22. LOVE Mraz, thank you. Hadn't heard this one.
    IF we have a boy, the HUBS would run off with him and not look back if I even THINK of letting the boy wear a dress.
    I love you! Just saying!

  23. What's the problem? He's wearing a Spiderman T. Right?

    Do you think Owen's teacher misspells when she's signing?

    I'm older than you :)


  24. You SHOCKED me with the misspelling. Until I read one. Phew!

  25. My husband would leave me over pictures like those too.

    I love gadgets! Is that a smart phone? Will you now be able to check the internet at work? Totally addictive.

    I'm kind of surprised that Graham isn't super-tough. A lot of the former heart babies I know are made of concrete or something. Charlie's like that for sure.


Use Your Words.