Betty White's Front Bum And A List Of Demands.

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How was your Mother's Day?  Oh, how nice for you.

Mine?  Thanks for asking.  What is the opposite of Special?

According to Dictionary.com  the opposite is 'general'.

That doesn't quite do it for me.

How about,  'Great Big Steaming Pile Of Suck'.

Yeah, that's better.

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Owen can't hear shit. Even with his hearing aids. (Ear cleaning and hearing test are pending.)

Which means he has no interest in TV.

Which means he and Bea play together much more.

Except, he can't hear Bea. At all.

So, I've added two more hats to my overfull head:  Playtime interpreter, and ASL teacher to reluctant three year old.

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You ever want to tell your obnoxious 7 year old what a little fucker he is?

Well, I get to. Ha.

(Relax, he can't hear me remember?)

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Please tell me you watched Betty White on SNL.

Just in case you didn't:



You're Welcome.

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In the bathroom with Bea and she fishes a tampon out of the box under the sink:

"This for your bum?"

"Yes Sweetie."

"Like this?" Poking around her bum with the thing.

"Well, not really."

"Oh, it's for your front bum? Like when my pee pee hurt and the doctor poked my bum?"

"Something like that."

"Oh, Owen and Daddy not have front bums, they not get poked."

"No they don't."

"Why they not have front bums? What they have?"

"Do you want some candy? Cookies? Puppy?"

Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I don't wanna.

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Ok fine, looks like you've given me no choice.

Hey Bea, you need a penis to pee in the bushes ok?  You don't have one.

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I'm so happy that so many of you joined me over here.  Now, you gotta do some things for me:

* Fix your blogroll.

* Follow me here (you can unfollow me at the old place).

* Tell your friends!

* I need a new little badge thingie.  You know anyone who can do that?  I forget who made the old one.

* Fix your fucking blogroll.

ETA:  I have the best readers ever.

Jayme already hooked me up with a button!

She even did the code thingie for me, which I'm definitely not bright enough to figure out on my own.

So it is all ready to go, over there on the right.

I like how it says "Grab My Button!"  It sounds dirty.

Thanks Jayme!

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More random at UnMom!