Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I Wouldn't REALLY Kill A Puppy.

So. I gave in and joined Pinterest. Just to see what all the fuss is about.

How annoyed was I when I received the RULES and saw that they include NO NUDITY?

Hipsters are no fun.

But.  I couldn't wait to pin this:


Speaking of old ladies.

My friend and co-worker loaned her Kindle to an eighty-something year old lady at work, because she wanted to read The Hunger Games.

Old lady had lost her page and when I went to help her find her place, I saw something curious on the home page list of books;

'50 Shades of Grey'

Which is absolute filth. Smut even.  Like smutty smut.  I know. I've read it.

I gasped and texted friend immediately, wondering how I didn't know what a dirty dirty girl she is.

She isn't.

She didn't buy the book.

The old lady did.


Speaking of dirty thoughts:

I'd kill a puppy if I could be that banjo for 5 minutes.


Speaking of killing things, and hotness:

She's silly hot.

I'm waiting to see The Hunger Games until this Sunday.  I don't do crowds, and there's a theater near here that serves food and alcohol while you enjoy the movie.

And I have a pregnant sister to drive my drunk ass home.


Speaking of silliness.

While Owen was perusing the interwebs, he found the trailer for the new Spiderman movie.

And he commenced a little Owen-style freak out, involving plenty of self talk about the characters in the movie all being played by different actors.

"Look.  He different. They all different ok?  Don't get worried."

I can't stand the cuteness with the asking himself questions and then answering them, and telling himself not to worry.


After we put him to bed last night, we were treated to even more self talk;

"Wednesday finish, Thursday finish, Friday finish, then it will be Saturday.  Then I will be 9.  Daddy take Bea to swim lesson finish. Come home and it will be my party. With my friends.  I will show them my DS and they will give me Dr. Suess books."

Seriously.  I wrote that shit down.

It really is his birthday Saturday.  And we're really having his party here. 10 kids, 6 of them Deaf.  Decorating of aprons, making of pizzas, whacking of pinata.

Speaking of needing to buy a case of wine...


  1. I saw the Hunger Games.... and I couldnt believe how those poor plane crash victims were forced to eat each other to stay alive in the mountains.... amazing!!

  2. I don't know about that whole nudity thing...

  3. I also joined the pintrest a few days ago to see what the fuss is all about. And my reaction was..."eh..."

  4. Wait a minute, I bought him the Dr. Suess books! xoxoxo

  5. Ooooh ooooh. I just wrote a post about pinterest because it's all I ever think about. Ever. I'm awesome at it, too. I wish it could be my job. Because I could do it all day, every day. It is to me what masturbation is to a 14 year old boy.

    Seriously, check out my 'funny' board. (leximagnusson). Do it. Do it now.

  6. First of all, send me your g.d. sign in password again and let me fix your header. whatdid you you do to it woman???



    Second. I will say a toast to Owen when we toast W.'s fifth birthday saturday. we'll be at the beach and I will high five you from afar.

    off to follow your pins.

  7. oops, I was already following them. pin some more stuff.

  8. You will forget all about the nudity rule once you discover all the food porn. NEVER look at Pinterest while hungry.

    I'm saving all of my bad habits for when I'm an old lady and can get away with it. Like smoking a joint on my porch swing, and reading smutty books on my Kindle.

  9. how hot is she? not feeling it as much as a blond, but when she's all brunette and bad ass, i heart her seriously.

  10. Seriously?

    I wouldn't actually kill a puppy, either.
    But I might aim a Katniss bow and arrow at one.

    Just to scare it a little.
    Don't worry. Okay?

  11. Oh.


    So much epic beauty in that post.

    I can never quit ya, Tulpen.

    I love Owen's self talk. I feel like I'm peeking into every child's mind.

    And I love his video.

    And if you think 50 shades of grey is SMUT then holy hell the debbil couldn't do filthier.

    And so glad you have a knocked up sister to drive you home.

    Tulpen: you , just... no one like you.

    Here's one that you will LOVE:

    2, in fact. You will fall over dead in knocked out love:

    THIS ONE WILL KILL YOU. DEAD: (call me when you're done:)Only 20 F bombs, but oh so sweetly sung.

    A tamer song, but still incredible:

    You'll want to french kiss me when you're done listening to these. No Lie.

  12. You don't read my smut, do you? I have 50 Shades of Grey next on my list . . . but, from people "in the know," it reads like BDSM for beginners.

  13. livehappy08: I love the beautiful bodies! But I'm talking full frontal. You know. Franks and Beans? I'll have to try and see what I can get away with.

    John: I read the original version, when it was a Twilight FanFic. I don't know if it's been tamed for the masses? But I am definitely NOT 'in the know' when it comes to BDSM, so...

    (I tried using the fucking 'REPLY' feature and my stoopid computer wouldn't let me... ass hole.)

  14. Lexi: I checked out your funny. And laughed. Al even laughed. That's a big deal. I followed. And repinned.

  15. Loved the story about the reader. Loved Owen's freakout. My son is constantly talking to himself.

    The shirt? Golden. It's much like my favorite shirt ever:,356189289

  16. The old lady bought the book! Crack me up! Good for her, I say.

    I love Owen telling himself not to get worried :)

    That t-shirt? I kind of want to own it.

  17. Happy Birthday on Saturday Owen!!
    *waves hands in the air madly*

  18. Oh how I LOVE Pinterest! I haven't seen the movie yet but hope to have a girls night out soon to see it. You need to give us a review on the 50 Shades of Grey, I am super interested in seeing what all the fuss is about. I luv me some smutty books!

    PS if you like the smutty, sexy books check out J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood books they are Awesome and just happen to have some super hot sex scenes in them, oh and vampires-YUMMY!

  19. Oh. GOD. Who IS that banjo-playing yumminess? (And, who knew the freaking banjo could ever be hot?) You just saved my day with that deliciousness. Good song, too.

    PS- Belated happy-happy to Owen!

  20. sooooooo........not everybody follows the no nudity rule, just sayin' ;)


Use Your Words.