Sunday, May 31, 2009


I've decided that I'm officially unfit for human interaction.

I took Owen to his best girl friend's birthday party this afternoon. I may have told someone off.

I need to set this up first, so as to not look like a complete ass hole.

Jay is a Deaf boy in Owen's school. He started school when he was three years old. Up until that point, the child had had NO services. He had NO hearing, NO speech and NO form of communication besides some crude gestures. The poor thing was a wild animal.

It was heartbreaking for the staff to see a child like this. They offer services for Deaf children that start at birth. They all wondered how he'd slipped through the cracks.

I'd heard the staff at the school muttering about the mother who seemed more concerned that he come home with his perfectly matched designer clothes free from dirt or any other evidence of play than the child's development.

I've spent time with her at several birthday parties over the past couple years and have noticed some things about her.

She does not sign to her son. He has two cochlear implants now, which means he has hearing, but he's only been hearing sounds for two years, so he's still learning. She yells at him incessantly for every. little. thing. Jay just looks at her, clearly not understanding the words, but knowing that he's done something wrong.

The child is obese. Today he ate and drank so much so fast that he threw up twice. And then she let him eat more. She wouldn't let him have soda because "Your teeth are full of holes", but she let him drink a gallon of lemonade.

She never shuts up.

I'd had enough of her attitude and fucking annoying voice already when she said something that made me snap.

Jay had walked up to Owen and tapped him on the shoulder, because in Deaf Culture this is the appropriate way to get another Deaf person's attention.

"Jay!! What are you DOING?! I TOLD you NO TAPPING! If you want a person's attention, you call their name!"

Jay and Owen both looked at her like she was crazy.

I tried not to say anything.

I failed.

So, I tried to hide how pissed I was.

"Ummmm yeah, that's how it's done at school, that's what they're taught."

"I don't want him touching other kids. I tell him to call the person's name."

"But a tap on the shoulder is the socially appropriate way to get another Deaf person's attention. Calling a name might not always work, because you know, they're Deaf."

"Well! I got a note from school the other day saying that Jay hit someone so I told him, No more tapping."

"Well, I imagine he's going to be pretty confused then, learning to be Deaf at school and not being allowed to be Deaf at home."

The look on her face told me that I should have felt like a big jerk. It's not my place to tell her how to raise her kid right?

What's wrong with me??

I think she's doing a crappy job with her kid. It's about the kid right??

I'd hope someone would tell me I was doing a crappy job with mine.

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