Tuesday, August 17, 2010
With Things That Make A Butt Itch.
Just when I ease up on my Nobody Says Anything Nice About Me policy, all Hell breaks loose.
Sherri nominated me for an award.
I'd ask you to go vote for me, but that would mean I accept the compliment - and compliments, as Sherri would say, make my butt itch.
Just like the rest of my body right now. Been itching all over for over a week. Since the town sprayed for mosquitos. I suppose the itching is better than having my brain liquified by Triple E.
And my nails are really long right now. Good nails for scratching
Except for my thumbs. I've been all anxious about Owen's school moving and have bitten my thumbnails.
Up to my elbows.
My elbows that were itching to come crashing down on those little cocksuckers at the playground the other day.
Normally I would have given those Mommies a big chunk of my mind. But my mind was an anxious, smooshy, quivering, gelatinous mess and I would have ended up crying like a big pussy.
So I waited for them to leave to cry like a big pussy.
I think maybe if Owen didn't "talk funny" he could have gotten hiself some five year old pussy that fateful playground day.
I forgot to mention the little strumpets and their well rehearsed mini whore act they performed for Owen.
The two of them marched up to Owen, and in perfect unison planted their right hands on their jutted out hips, cocked their little heads to the side and informed Owen:
"We're the cutest girls in town."
Yeah, about as cute as a case of genital herpes.
Which I predict they'll be sporting by the sixth grade.
Now, that'll make a butt itch.
More Random and less crossing the line talking about five year old pussy at UnMom